Do people always believe the worst about a divorced woman?

Question

I'm recently divorced for the second time. My ex was incredibly insecure and was giving me a hard time because at 30+ I don't look 25 any more and I want a steady career because I can't be a model forever.

My problem is that he is one of these guys that everyone likes and I'm a woman who everyone has always joked about how many guys I must have because I'm fairly good looking even though I've never actually been promiscuous. During the divorce my husband hinted heavily to a lot of people including my family that I was cheating. I was doing no such thing but he was very mad because I wouldn't give up my career to be his housewife. Everyone believed him probably because they found it so easy to think the worst of me when I was the one complaining about him all the time.

What I want to know is whether other divorced women out there have had this kind of experience with a lying ex. Is there any way to clear your name or do you just look forward and try to do your best from here on out?

Answer 1

You sound like you know that time will make it better. Stick with your career and rock this world. Don't think about your ex anymore. I think initially people think the worst when someone says they are divorced until they get to know you.

Answer 2

Divorces are often acrimonious and the desire to hurt one another pervades. After two failed marriages you should probably not be so concerned with whether people believe you are promiscuous but rather with why your unable to sustain the most important relationship in your life. You are either picking poorly or there is a fatal flaw in your behavior that allows people to believe that of you. I'd say fore go future marriages and just play the field until you figure out your missteps. The pretty girl thing isn't the reason. Men will hit just about anything you don't need to be pretty just available. Everybody knows that so look deeper. Good luck.

Answer 3

You can't change what your ex has done or said... You can only look into your self and know the person you really are... Don't worry about what others say or think... You know who you are... Most the times with divorces... One person always gets the worse end of it... The friends pick sides.. The family that you thought cared about you while you were married to the spose never has anything to do with you again.. You are the bad seed... Let it go... Try to put it all behide you... Stop worring about it.... Meet new friends and move on... Beleive me it will get better.... The people that now may look down on you... Other look the other way.. Are only loosing out on your friendship... You don't need them... Hold your head up high............ Good Luck....

Answer 4

Living well is the best revenge.

Wouldn't it be great to run into him in a year or two, have a quick exchange and see that look of regret in his eye? Regret that he let go such a dynamic, hot woman?

He's a fool. Who would want a subservient housewife when they can have an independent, dynamic, hard working partner?

Answer 5

Your ex is insecure and could not actually keep up with your achievements. The reason why he said so many things negative about you because he is trying to defend his inadequacy. Its egotistical response that is nomal for men who are insecure. You dont have to be defensive either by clearing your name or respond to his allegations. Move on, look forward and show what you got and I tell you the more you will be successful the more he will see what he has lost. Remember, the TRUTH IS OFTEN SEEN BUT SELDOM HEARD!

Answer 6

My x husband is a hibitual liar, he tells so many lies he actually believes them..

One lie.. he told his second wife (he's now on his third lol) .. is that i was pregnant and thats why he married me..
ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN could figure it out that it was a lie.. from just adding up from the time we got married to the time i had our son.. lol

Then he went around telling people that he didnt believe our son is his because we both have brown eyes and our son has blue, EVEN THOUGH our son looks IDENTICAL to his dad features wise only the coloring is different, and both my father and his father both have blue eyes..

Our other son is terminally ill..and recieves Social Securtiy Benefits.. which ticked him off so he called SS.. and told them that our son lived with him .. so they cut off his benefits for a time.. till i proved his story false.. he barely see's his kids let alone them living with him lol..

My x husband called me several years ago , after he stopped paying child support, told me he had to file for bankruptcy and that they were garnishing his paycheck.. and he had hardly any money to live off of.. 18 months he went with out paying, and when i let him know he was over 10,000 in the rear he said i was delusional and that he had always paid his support.. lol

But guess what???? no one believes him.. everyone knows he's a snake in the grass, even his own family knows even if they dont want to admit it.. so dont worry let him run his mouth, it will come back to bite him in the azz later..

Answer 7

Look past it.
It is not worth worrying or stressing over; that's exactly what he wants you to do.. stress about it.
And, by not letting it get to you, you're showing him that you could care less what lies he wishes to tell others. If you let it get to you, people will probably figure for themselves that you were cheating although you weren't.
Besides, all that really matters is your friends and family and as long as they trust you and know the real truth then what he has to say isn't worth mentioning at all.
Let him be an idiot.

Answer 8

A lot of men tell those B/S stories to make themselves look good, they do not want people to think they failed the marriage. Also a lot of people know this fact but don't admit it, so as long as you know the truth, you can hold your head high. What other people say about you shouldn't matter.

Answer 9

Well, that's your ex's way of trying to get back at u and people believe it because a lot of them have this need to generalize and lump people into categories. I say, just ignore them and let their comments in one ear, out the other. As long as you're sure of yourself and know where u stand, u don't need anyone's approval.
Besides, it's really non of their business, is it?

Answer 10

I have had the same problem with my first husband. He was abusive and when I left, he told everyone including my parents that I left hte marriage because I wanted to "whore around" and they all believed him. I say, hold your head high and just move forward.