I've seen it, I've lived it, I've heard about it.
Are these the usual tendencies, based on gender?
Is there another way of looking at it?
2006-09-13 12:10:57 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I mean lazier and less romantic & nastier and bossier. Indicating that one or both was putting on an act before marriage.
2006-09-13 12:13:07 · update #1
These tendencies are so common in my experience that if they're indicative of bad marriages, then most marriages are bad.
2006-09-13 12:18:33 · update #2
Not the case in my marraige either. My husband and I were together for 7 years before we got married. If the bad things were coming out, they would have by then. We have been married for 17 years. Maybe longer courtships to help to know the true colors. Good luck with finding your mate. Also as people grow older they do change. Everyone does, responsiblities, jobs, children. Need to have a strong relationship/friendship as a base.
2006-09-13 12:19:07 · answer #1 · answered by flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good question, if not a little bit of a generalization. I, too, have been married 10 years. It's a curious situation, I look better than I ever have (been working out since high school, always been a jock). The romantic aspect, yeah, it can sometimes be lacking on my part. However, I do what I can do when I can do it. Tell my wife how sexy she is and stuff (even after 3 kids).
Regarding my wife, no, she's not nasty or bossy. We have a pretty democratic life!!
2006-09-13 19:37:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"A woman marries a man to turn him into someone else, a man marries a woman hoping she'll stay the same."
My fiance and I have been "living as married" for over a year and at times it seems like we're just friends or roomies... he's been more bossy and I've been lazier. I wasn't going out of my way to impress him when we were dating, but I guess there are times now where I just seem to take him for granted. He does the same to me... it's odd. When I get back from being out-of-state (to visit family), usually a half-country away, we'll find our romance and intimacy tend to get a major boost... but it fades within a week.
2006-09-13 22:38:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I read a book for school (college) on relationships and it said somebody can put up a fake front for over 2 years after this time it becomes difficult...Now 2 years is a long time to fall in love with somebody who does not exist....
In past experience guys will say and do anything to get you if they really want you probably same for woman no idea?
That or maybe it's the everyday stale living that makes ppl change?
2006-09-13 19:20:35 · answer #4 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not in my situation. Some people get lazy, take each other for granted because they think they don't have to try, don't have to put in the hard work in making their marriages work. BUT, this doesn't mean it happens to "all" couples so stop generalizing because at this point, u are speaking from your OWN reality and it doesn't necessarily reflect on everyone as a whole. Stop stating your opinion as if it were facts.
2006-09-13 19:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ask my sister, she'd tell you that this is a stereotype that is perpetuated in our culture by tv. We see sitcoms and movies where married couples always relate to each other in the same way. Then men are stupid or silly, completely inconsiderate and yes, lazy and unromantic. The women are sarcastic, overbearing, naggy and completely unreasonable when it comes to arguments with their husbands. We see it everywhere in the media, we talk joke about it with our friends, we complain about it, but when it comes to having relationships of our own, that's the only model we've seen, so that's what we mimick. It's a self-fullfilling proffesy. We don't want a relationship like that, but it's all we know, so it's what we resort to -- it's expected of us. If you don't want a relationship like that, you don't have to have one like that, but you have to be vigilant and nip the problem in the bud as soon as you notice it manifesting itself, and of course, you have to have the cooperation of your partner.
2006-09-13 19:23:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not true I guess it depends most men and women could and probably is like this but my husband and I are very romantic and he goes to work everyday so i clean and do my part and when I come home from work he cooks dinner our love life is great could be better but im sure its better than 99.9% of all the worlds
we love each other help each other are great friends and sometimes we do fight but we are romantic, energizing,clean,and not bossy so my life could prove your predictions wrong... : )
2006-09-13 19:18:30 · answer #7 · answered by Lauren D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life happens they get busy with work, family and they don't take time out for eachother. When you don't take a breather for your marriage this is a result. No communication, lack of respect for eachother and so on.
This is a very good way and usual way to look at this.
2006-09-13 19:20:24 · answer #8 · answered by Martin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is so true. I would never get married. It's better to just live with the person and then when you are tired of them then you have the chance to move on. The heck with being miserable.
2006-09-13 19:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by tnicb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We both get lazy.. men and women get into this.. well.. the searching is over.. now I don't have to work on finding someone... routine... The hard part is always being nice to one another when you don't want to.. and always behaving like you have to impress one another.. If you can pull that off the happiness should continue... if you're unwilling to that's when women get bitchy, and men loose their hearing... lol
2006-09-13 19:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by K8e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋