when my dad was little my dad's dad had an affair with another women.when my grandma found out she didnt divorice right away...well in that time the women he was cheating with had baby so he had to legally adopt her. i know where my "grandfather" works and would like to meet him. But I hate him sooo much.So when I go I wanna say something hinting towards that..but not saying im related to him..what should i say??
2006-09-13 11:50:53 · 16 answers · asked by Melinda=] 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you truly want a relationship with him then just go to him and tell him. If you just want to make trouble for him thats wrong. 2 wrongs dont make a right. Think about it?....Good Luck
2006-09-13 11:57:22 · answer #1 · answered by noname 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you do meet him,but I also hope the meeting does not leave you feeling a little empy after.It could,so I am only voicing my opinion.It could also be a wonderful visit.too..Either way,you will probably not get many answers,sounds like someone is holding it all back,since you have not seen or even met him.It is a sad problem,but hope you at least get to see him.I only hope you know some people hurt and are hurt so badly,they just give up.I think your idea at least will start the next generation to not follow in the same footsteps of complete denial..not your fault,of course!Good Luck,don't know what I would say,I guess "how many grandchildren do you have" would let you know if you should even continue,it is too sad.My ex stepdad/and his wife disowns their grandkids no reason in my book for it at all!!,who happen to be my sisters kids(long story,no blood involved on relationship between sis and her ex-husband/son of new wife)..sounds like I need to go on Jerry Springer.lol..anyway,keep your spirits up and know you have done your best..
2006-09-13 19:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it exactly that youre trying to accomplish here. I understand your feelings here but do you honestly think taht what you are going to do is actually going to fix a mistake he did years ago? Trust me, your grandfather has played over and over in his mind what so long ago and has had to learn to live with all the pain and regret all this time. Your best bet would be to go to your grandfather and tell him exactly who you are and make him proud of a grandchild he hardly knows. You cant hate someone you dont know. The hatred you carry inside is probably your parents hatred and not yours. Meet and get to know your grandfather before you judge him so go with an open mind and heart. Only God can judge people and sentence them for their mistakes and sins. You just might be surprised what you can learn about your family from him if you just give him a chance. Im not agreeing that what he did was right, but it was his life and he has had to live with his decisions, just like you will if you make the wrong one here. Good Luck
2006-09-13 19:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me having an affair is sometimes due to weakness and not beacuse you are mean. you can be a good hearted person and know someone who unexpectedly makes you shine. It could be a clear sign of something lacking in your marriage but everyone has diferent reasons, Some other people just do it for fun of to prove themselves they're still desirebles for memeber of the other sex. But I guess you'l never know what crossed your grandad's mind at the time unless you ask and he wants to tell. Anyway I wouldnt prejudice him before i find out.
2006-09-13 19:05:56 · answer #4 · answered by Nimrod 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK so your grandfather hurt his wife...end of story.
Positive this hurt his own child yes.
But what does it have to do with you?
He had an affair and by all accounts his wife made positive his family outed him and he left her for another woman...hasn't he payed enough?
If you want to meet him meet him for love not hate or revenge of your grandmothers. You never know you could have a wonderful relationship with a man that is only human.
2006-09-13 19:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by lol_des 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, you need to stop worrying about something that happened before you were even a thought in your parents' heads. You don't know the whole truth and it's really not any of your business. I'm not saying that anyone should EVER cheat on their spouse, but you have no idea why he did in the first place.
2006-09-13 18:54:43 · answer #6 · answered by teeniey37 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) Why be vindictive? It is a horrible trait in a woman, sure to cause a man to have an affair on you someday.
2) If you speak as clearly as you write, it won't matter what you say, because he won't understand a thing that you're talking about.
2006-09-13 19:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by robabard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened between your grandfather and grandmother is none of your business. This happened before you were born. You need to get over it. If you want to see him to get to know him then that is Great. If you want to see him to be mean then you need help. Also remember that there are two sides to every story. If you haven't talked to him then you don't know the whole story. Who are you to judge?
2006-09-13 19:03:25 · answer #8 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why exactly do you want to do that, just to hurt him or to actually get to know the guy? Do you want to be nasty to him, hinting toward the fact that you hate someone that you don't even know personally? I actually think that's kinda shallow. I would advise not even doing it. And wasting time and energy hating someone you don't know is just that, wasting time and energy, and not worth it.
2006-09-13 18:55:19 · answer #9 · answered by Solidmarriage 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just ask him what happened it may not him that s in the wrong their 2 story's to be told to you so don't jump the gun he may be the one that wants to see you and love you let him tell you then you can tell him how you feel about it good luck to you
2006-09-13 19:05:38 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋