What is it about our society that doesn't give a second thought to getting married and then getting divorced? Are people not choosing their future spouses correctly? Do people not really know their future spouse well enough to get married forever?
2006-09-13 11:44:27 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All good answers. This is going to be tough. I like the idea of pre-marital counseling. Since everyone gets a marriage license to get married, and we get drivers' licenses to drive, but before that drivers license, there's a test... There should be a very difficult exam in order to get a marriage license. What do you think?
2006-09-14 01:22:57 · update #1
What about having classes for teaching people how to uphold their marriage vows? So many people want to be married when it's convenient for them but bail out because they're too lazy or too comfortable to put in the hard work required to make their marriage work.
Marriage is work and it takes both couples to put in that hard work to make it last, everyday, for the rest of their married lives together.
2006-09-13 11:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the wonderful world of TV soaps and romantic movies. People start believing in the "happily ever after" which in real life doesnt exist nor ever has. Everything works on TV. Kids are being forced to grow up at an earlier age,and therefore enter the adult age unprepared, and figure married life is what they are supposed to do and thus live happily ever after. When the honeymoon period is over, reality sets in and divorce attys are getting richer. Families are no longer 1 wage earner but now have to be 2 wage earners and down go the family values and such. Boredom sets in and divorce is so easy nowadays as a way back to freedom and the exciting single life with less responsibilities and hassles. True alot of marriages are out of necessity more than an romantic option but are doomed at the onset. Problem will probably only get worse before it gets better.
2006-09-13 12:12:54 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because in your country people think only of the relationship as sex...sex, sex and sex,,
Marriage is the last thing they think of,,, then the children are almost always open to the bombardment of tv commercials, movies, pornos that brings them to early realization and needs, desires for sex.
People come to know each other only for a short time, then the indulge themselves in sex..
If in your area you can start from the family, from your church, from your organizations to make a really real campaign of sex education, marriage counselling, teenage counsellng, and many other programs in your community.
Even in our more conservative country, this is already being done, because more and more teenagers are getting pregnant or marrying without really the knowledte of the parenting business.
Fortunately, we have our counseling or seminars for a certain period of days before the marriage is being solemnized.
This is not only now a US and European country problem, for even here in asia, people are also having that problem, although we do not have divorce here, people just separate from each other..
2006-09-13 12:30:33 · answer #3 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can start with knowing each other better, by that I mean learn if they share the same views on having & raising children, on division of household responsibilities, on financal responsibilities, if they share the same vision for their future, etc. I think a lot of people don't even talk about things like this then when they get married each have different views & expectations. For instance, they have a baby & she's ready to go back to work & he wants her to stay home & raise the child, but it was never really discussed and that's when problems start. I think in order to have a successful relationship you need to have communication, consideration, respect & compromise and too many people can't do any of those things much less all of them.
2006-09-13 12:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most people who marry don't really know their spouses for very long before they marry. You should date someone for a very long time first and then live with someone next before you marry. You truly get to know someone by living with them. Also, a lot of couples assume that once they are married they no longer need to do anything to keep the marriage going but you do. Communication is so important. You also need to still have dates even though you are married to keep the romance going.
2006-09-13 12:17:00 · answer #5 · answered by cee cee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't think it has anything to do with choosing a future spouse at all. I think it's a matter of taking a vow seriously and living by it. I think it's discusting that people don't honor their contracts. And also think nothing of bringing children into the situation at all. That makes it truly heinous. Stay married, if you don't like each other that much, fake it. I don't love my husband every day all day. It may have something to do with having to pick up after him, or cleaning the toilet... Marriage takes work, people. It's not always a ******* cake walk!
2006-09-13 12:06:02 · answer #6 · answered by Solidmarriage 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel that men and women are being brought up w/ the wrong mentality. no one seems to care, or have 'honor' for themselves!! you have to be proud of yourself, whether if ur a man or a woman, and constantly learn and grow, how to become a Positive, Healthy, Happy Person...as well as make sure you are the best Woman or Man that u can be. if everyone concentrated and worked on themselves first, than there's a feeling of achievement and respect for oneself. (u also have to keep an open mind and stay humble; no matter what u can alwasy learn more, always improve more, there is too much out there to learn be big headed!!) then, when u look for a partner, u gotta make sure that person has similar goals and morals as you. did he make sure he is a Good Person, Trustworthy Man? then, when u can respect each other and appreciate each other's accomplishments, u will be able to build a foundation of two strong, confident people who can help each other Grow. become Better. until u find that person who makes u feel that way, DON'T GET MARRIED.
these days, it's hard to find a "good man", or "good woman"...!! because we feel a sense of entitlement w/o doing the work. i would never be able to expect a wonderful man to scoop me up if i don't appreciate, respect, and take care of myself and him. if i knew i was a b*** or a brat, why would i expect a great guy? =T but if i make sure i am a wonderful, caring, kind woman, smart, etc, then i can logically expect to find a man who fits those needs and wants. and i won't settle until i find that. that way, i will never resent whom i marry, because i already made sure he was worth it, and that i was worth it.
it's self accountability. then the next step is being able to trust the other person. and to keep each other accountable, and GROW and LEARN together as a team. that's what i think marriage is!! good luck to us all ! :)
2006-09-13 11:53:04 · answer #7 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are choosing to get married before that "honeymoon period" in their relationship is over- where everything is just great, and so romantic. I agree with someone who answered above me- there should be mandatory pre-marital counseling for all who intend to get married.
2006-09-13 11:49:39 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before everything, I look to keep in mind that contained in the U. S. besides, the divorce expenses has easily fallen a tiny bit. second, the justifications for the intense divorce expenses are multi leveled: * we stay in a "disposable" society. imagine about it, we've disposable diapers, disposable napkins, forks, cameras, and so on. we've got disposable households and spouses. If human beings get bored with them, they in basic terms walk away. this is adult men and females doing this. * many persons are lazy. this is too a lot artwork and attempt to attempt to fix the wear and tear or comprehend what the different individual thinks or feels. this is extra accessible to easily walk away. * lack of morals. some human beings imagine this is in basic terms high quality to sleep round on their spouse or husband, or beat the crap out of them or mistreat their spouse and/or childrens. imagine about it, there's a huge ingredient in our society that thinks "something is going" and "there's no incorrect or correct". some human beings easily purchase into that (i do not). in basic terms my 2 cents. i'm positive others position self belief in a unique way yet it really is what I characteristic it to.
2016-11-26 22:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by duggins 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God in his word tells us exactly how to avoid failures in life. He also tells us how to have a happy marriage, the problem is that in this era, all morals, spiritual values and family values are gone.
People without those three basics of life are heading to failures. And this is also a chain that a person is dragging with them, people from broken homes, don't know how to make things work, until they decide to breaker those chains and be different from their parents or whoever raised them in the divorce environment.
2006-09-13 11:58:29 · answer #10 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋