I know he loves me, but he won't stop sleeping around. He calls me afterwards. He told me he was straight when I met him, then told me he was bisexual & I was the only girl he was with until 6 months ago, now I find out he sleeps with other girls all the time. He is my best friend, we tell each other everything. Is it worth it if this is the only CON and the rest of our relationship is full of PROS? My heart is breaking & I don't know what to do. I told him I didn't want to have sex with him anymore, that we could just be best friends, but he told me he makes love to me and he just uses everyone else (I know he loves me).
He was sexually abused as a kid. I've been reading up alot on sex addicts (it is a real sickness) & that's usually the case for alot of people who suffer from it.
If I were answering this, I'd say "be his friend because you love him, but stop sleeping with him". I don't want anyone else, that's the problem, but I dont want to share him either.
2006-09-13 11:11:23 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its your right not to share him with others. you are in a relationship after all. I reckon he wouldn't want to share you either.
While women tend to get swayed by 'explanations' by guys who are convincing, you have to put your foot down somewhere. If he really did love you, he would sacrifice anything, even if it tortured him, to make you happy and not hurt you. Stop being afraid to lose him! He probably knows this already which is why he's not afraid to do the dirty then tell you about it afterwards. He probably really likes you. But love you? You deserve someone who will make sacrifices to make you happy.
So my suggestion is to break up with him to save your close friendship (and be strong about it), or to be with him and see a therapist for the addiction and abuse he dealt as a child. He cant have his cake and eat them at the same time, especially if its at the expense of YOUR happiness. Trust me you will find some other BETTER guy even if this guy doesn't work out. (Even if it takes some time).
Love is one thing, you can even love someone at a distance. But to make a relationship work it needs 2 willing hands to clap.
Please be smart about this. You deserve to be happy.
2006-09-13 11:27:31 · answer #1 · answered by Liz^24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no choice in the matter he's going to sleep around. Even if he gets treatment it's always going to be an issue.
Do yourself a favor & don't sleep with him. He will end up getting some horrible disease &/or giving it to you. He can't help it, he needs therapy & you need someone who will respect you & treat you right. You can still be his friend & have all the pros of your relationship without having any of the cons that will come with the drama he is living. Do the right thing for you becasue no matter how much he may want to he's not ABLE to do the right thing and you will only get hurt again & again.
2006-09-13 18:18:31 · answer #2 · answered by aylawins 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You say you don't want anyone else, and yet you want him to be different. Life doesn't work that way. People aren't made of parts you can pick and chose. They come pre-packaged. You have plenty of choice which one you want, but they don't change. You really want someone who's almost entirely like your current best friend/boyfriend, except for the bit that you don't want a guy who sleeps around.
So go find your guy. This one isn't it no matter how much you may want him to be. I know it's a hard thing to understand, but people are as they are. Either we love all of them, or we don't. You're just creating a problem for yourself where there isn't one. Please do look for someone else.
Because somewhere, not so far from you, is a guy who's just like your friend. He's ready to love you and only you, but he hasn't met you yet. He feels a giant hole in his life where you should be, but he doesn't see you available. Go out and meet him. And make all your dreams come true.
Good luck!
2006-09-13 18:26:25 · answer #3 · answered by Magina 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is up to you how much of this you can put up with. He may be the love of your life and your best friend but from what you have said, he doesn't feel that way about you or else he wouldn't be out sleeping around. He may have an addiction, in which case he needs to get into a rehab program to get better. If he is unwilling to change for you then I would move on. If he is willing to devote himself to you and only you then I would try to work through it. Keep in mind that if you are still sleeping with him while he is sleeping around, he might be passing on diseases to you. If he is willing to get better by going to rehab/counseling than I wouldn't give up on him yet, if you truly love him as much as you say you do.
2006-09-13 18:23:57 · answer #4 · answered by Antisocial 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't have a relationship with a person like this. I mean, what good will it do you? If you stay together there will eventually be children. Do you want them raised in this environment? Break it off now before things get more involved. Tell him to go to therapy and get help. You need to go on with your life and pray for him to change.
2006-09-13 18:15:19 · answer #5 · answered by son-shine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a hard choice to make but I would make sure he got counseling for his problem and then I would make the decision if you still want to be with this man or not. Good luck your going to need alot of strength to get through something like this.
2006-09-13 18:14:32 · answer #6 · answered by Redneck Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Today sex is a matter of life or death! You are living on the edge with that partner. Stop before its too late! And have yourself checkout regularly for aids or anything!
2006-09-13 18:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by worriedaboutyou 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think you should be his friend reguardless cause he needs you more than you know and if you try to help him with his sex problem sence you are best friends as well as lovers he might listen to you. And if he really loved you then he would stop sleeping around.
2006-09-13 18:26:07 · answer #8 · answered by Bree Lynne 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His behavior is putting you at risk. He definitely sounds like a sex addict and needs real help. Maybe an intervention? Maybe therapy? Maybe both? He has a genuine problem and you are just enabling him if you let it continue. Help him help himself.
2006-09-13 18:15:40 · answer #9 · answered by Billy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop having sex with him ....let him know you won't be fuel for his fantasies...he needs to read some books or go to a shrink...to exorcise those feelings that he feels he can only relieve thru sex but to be honest, men are wired to think about sex constantly...he just needs to learn control and restraint...break up with him or take a break ...but be there for him....however, let him know you're tired of being hurt.
2006-09-13 18:17:12 · answer #10 · answered by D.E.O.N. Sphinxxx 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋