We are both married with kids and have fallen in love. This has been a very difficult time and would like to know if anyone has any good advice.
2006-09-13 10:22:22 · 12 answers · asked by hazmat1424 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are about to destroy her entire world. Everything she has ever lived for, and has reason for living for. This will totally break her. Not only will it break her, but it will break the kids, too. Their lives will never be the same. I hope that you are ready to deal with looking them all in the eyes and seeing their pain. I hope you are ready to explain to your children why their daddy is leaving, because no matter what you do they are going to feel like it is all their fault. I hope that it is all worth it to you.
2006-09-13 10:43:49 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Did you even love your wife at all? Not trying to be harsh but with a wife, children, a career (I assume), and everything this else that life has to throw at you daily, when did you find the time. From the time you started thinking more about someone else than your wife you had already left the relationship. The only way to say it is by speaking the words. If you think it's difficult now, wait and see her reaction when you tell her that the life she has been consumed with building has failed.
2006-09-13 17:29:30 · answer #2 · answered by sui generis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start out by saying you need to talk to her once you get the conversation going you can say I have fallen out of love with you but i have love for you just not IN love with her tell her the truth about the other lady but you better hope the other woman is going to actually leave her hubby I know a few people who have made this mistake and left the spouse that really loved em for something that did nt last longer then the ink drying on the divorce papers ..gl
2006-09-13 17:25:56 · answer #3 · answered by glass_city_hustla 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truly think your probably in lust more than love ,love takes a long time to grow but lust takes only a few minutes,but in the event you are going to continue with this relationship then I would go ahead an tell your wife so she can try to become strong for your kids when you tell them because they will be devastated and obviously someone else has your attention so you probably will not have to deal with the pain of your children like your wife will ,I can tell you from experience it hurts tremendously and you will reap what you sew so be careful about making such hasty decisions when it comes to hurting your family ,I hope you will realize you need to get on your knees an ask what would God tell you to do in this situation?
2006-09-13 18:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by SANDY G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well all you have to do is sit down with your wife and tell her how you feel but don't tell her about the other woman it would break her heart its better you tell her now because why are you going to stay in a relationship if you don't love her anymore you both would be miserable in the marriage and plus your kids would suffer you should tell your kids that you and your wife would remain friends if you leave her well for the sake of your kids
2006-09-13 19:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by ANNIE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of the other answers. You really need to figure out if it's love or lust. Lust can make you blind!!
Sure they can make you feel good and they can just feel good but will they still feel good 10 years down the road? When you have a big fight about the kids, or a big fight over money?
Think about how much time you really spend with this new person compared to your spouse. You probably haven't truly been able to get to know them.
I don't think you should stay married just because you have kids. If it's not working for you, they will be able to feel it and see it. Think about which situation will be harder for them to grow up in; parents divorced with no fighting or parents staying married and showing them how stupid and mean adults can be.
JUST THINK ABOUT IT!!!
Good Luck!!
2006-09-13 21:40:02 · answer #6 · answered by 4real 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
very carefully........and in a crowded place...seriously, a very tough thing. IF you have thought this all thru and IF this is what you want, then you need to let her know. I am not sure how you fell in love with somebody else while you are married, but the marriage must have some issues if this happened. Try to let her down easy (she will still be upset no matter what) this is going to be a long haul for you. Good luck.
2006-09-13 17:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by silver 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, is this fantasy of being with someone else really worth losing your wife and kids? Of course things are great with your new lady because things are fresh, start raising kids and paying bills with her and see how long it lasts. You made a commitment to your wife.
It would be really easy for everyone to cheat because we are very animalistic creatures, but we must remember that the grass is never greener on the other side!
2006-09-13 17:33:10 · answer #8 · answered by schmidtjal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not love, it's lust. Go to your wife and tell her that you love her and never look back. Think about all the lives you and the "other" women will destroy. Just give it some thought. Believe me, your life will NEVER be the same if you go through with this.
2006-09-13 18:50:29 · answer #9 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont tell your wife. You be a man and go back to her and your kids. Dont ruin your life for temptation. And ask yourself, do you really love this other woman? Think about what you are doing to your kids, man. Horrible.
2006-09-13 17:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by ~Happy~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋