Why do people fall out of love?

Question

Why do people fall out of love?

I am talking about marriages without cheating or verbal/mental/physical abuse.

My aunt and uncle were married for 10 years, I always thought they were so happy. But then my aunt went to my uncle one day and said she wasn't in love anymore and wanted a divorce. He swears to this day he didn't see it coming.

How can you be so in love with someone for years, have children and then one day wake up and realize you are no longer in love.

My wife and I have been together for 5 years, the first year or two were very passionate, now its a more mature relationship. I don't feel like its "new" love, but I feel more respect for her and I feel that we are lovers (still) but also best friends. Its like our love shifted from passionate love to a different love.

Do you think people think mature love means you aren't in love anymore? Maybe a mature love is boring for some people?

What do you think?

I am still in love with my wife. You can't expect to have that exciting, new love forever. It wears off after some time.

Answer 1

people confuse infatuation with "New Love"...Infatuation is generall the first two years of a relationship. This is why it is advisable to be together at least two years before even discussing marriage...for most people, anyway.....and yes, the infatuation stage goes away for EVERYBODY....don't believe anyone that tells you different....those are delusional people.

Answer 2

I think sometimes, when someone is dissatisfied with their life, they choose to look outward instead of inward for reasons, and a lot of the time they decide it is their marriage that is wrong, since they no longer experience the same feelings they had at one time felt for their spouse. Perhaps she felt she had nothing more to give to him and so it was no longer useful for her to continue in the relationship. I think marriage is a partnership that should be mutually beneficial and should develop and evolve over the duration of your lives to include many different kinds of love-passionate, companionate, compassionate, friendship etc. I don't believe in divorce; if one person changes so drastically that they become detrimental to the other person- in that case, I believe they should separate for a while- get out instead of going down with the ship, so to speak- but always try to work it out. I think marriage should not be terminated so easily, people should really talk more about what is happening to them inside rather than waiting until they are so tangled up in knots that sorting out the mess becomes a daunting task. Marriages aren't one way streets, and it takes both people to make it work; they have to each be willing to take an equal share in it. I hope that if I ever get married, I can trust the person I choose to be with to stay with me through better and worse, because when we least deserve to be loved is the time when we need it the most.

Answer 3

because you grew a part and nothing seem interest anymore. i guess we all change some how along the way.you have different attitude toward you future and aspect of life. plus with kids involve your time cut short together and you don't have the times and efforts to deal with your relationship first hand because you have to worried about the kids well-being. maybe you're not out of love yet if you could find the time t be alone once in a while and rediscovered that burning desire.

Answer 4

I agree, I think because it's not new love anymore people feel like they are not ' in love' anymore. I think people don't fall out of love, they just don't want to keep up a marriage anymore. It's like a friendship with old friends. If you don't keep in contact and talk, then you don't have a friendship anymore. You have to keep the fire burning in a marriage even more. People just give up easily.

Answer 5

I don't know, but I have wondered that myself many times. Can't wait to see what people have to say on this one. I also wonder how two people who love each other enough to get married and have kids together can end up divorcing and hating one another.

Answer 6

I think mature love takes more work and communication than passonate love. i think the mistake couples make is putting their love on a lower priority level to raising childeren and take care of home. you tend to take your partners love for granted thinking that all is well even though you havent put forth the same amount of effort in raising your kids in your love life. you think well we have been together for ages i know he loves me. that may be true but "in love is where you have to keep the fire burining . Mature love i think is the best because thats the love that keeps you together also. but you got to keep the spark of passionate love in your mature love. i think thats how we stay in love. the passion and maturity together has to be the dominant love and keeps her heart fluttering for you well into your lives. keep passion alive!

Answer 7

My marriage felt like I was in heaven although no body approved of my x ......she wasn't very good looking but I never saw that.....towards the end of our marriage I fell out of love and I would wake up and look at her sleeping and just said to myself what did I ever see in her ?......it was crazy

Answer 8

No, it maybe it means you're use to having love. But maybe it's becoming stronger, and maybe one day when you and her make love it will be more passionate than before

Answer 9

people do change and if there's not some one else i can see this happening. also people don't stay togehter like they did years ago ,for the church or mom @dad. men aren't scarad of shot gun's ?

Answer 10

being in love
isn't the same as being in a commited relationship
one you have to work at
one works on you

lovers have to talk
and, most difficult of all....
listen

what you want,
you have to allow your partner to want

and you have to allow
that your partner
has his/her own wants
different from yours

you're mislabeling your laziness
as maturity

get your passon on