I am writing an english paper? Help Needed!?

Question

OK, I have this teacher "She Is A *****!"
Anyway, I am writing a paper and I was wondering if It is ok to start off a paragraph with "About". It is not the beggining paragraph! If "ABOUT" is a bad word to start of a sentence please list some alternitives. Thanks
Here is my sentence
"About half way through the race I came around a corner to fast and flew off of my bike."
There it is the begginging sentence to a paragraph, is it ok to start of with "About"?

Here is my whole story. Thanks To all

May 23, 2005, it was the big dirt bike race I was waiting for months. My Dad and I were going to be in the race together. I had practiced for 4 this race and wanted to win. It was a long twenty five mile long race. I had worked on my bike souping it up. I couldn’t wait, I was so excited. The Day was great what could go wrong.

There was a small track to practice on. My brother and I went to ride on the track. This was only his third time riding so I had to show him around the track. I decided to practice. I whizzed around the track. As I came around the corner I saw my brother fall. The motorcycle had fallen on him and he was unable to get it off of him.


We then rode back to camp. When we got there we washed up and eat some delicious lunch. There was only a half hour left till the race. I got my motorcycle, put on my goggles, gloves, and helmet.

"More Below"

I didn’t put on my shoulder protectors because they are heavy and make you tired. As my dad finished putting on our gear, they started to call racers to the starting line. When we got there they were discussing the rules and parts of the tracks. They said there were some steep spots on the track. Which last year I had fallen backward and my bike fell on top of me.

The race was about to start. He fired the gun and we took off. My dad and I were in 6th place. We passed some more people, because their engines died. You have to finish with your team mate. We then passed another team. We were in 3rd place. It felt like I was going a hundred miles an hour. The weather was great, it had a perfect breeze. As I was going I could see a hundred feet up was this steep hill. It had to be the steepest hill I have ever been on. I barley got enough speed to go up it, but I still made it to the top. There I was half way through the race and it all turned bad.

"More Below"

I came around a corner to fast and flew off of my bike. I hit a tree hard. My dad turned around and tried to help me up, but there was too much pain for me to get up. I didn’t know if I broke my shoulder, collar bone, or nothing at all. I rested for a little while and then I had enough will to ignore the pain. One and a half hours later we crossed the finish line. They had a medic to take care of injured riders.

She said my shoulder was broken and was not much she could do for me. We were a long way from a hospital. All along I wished I had worn my shoulder protectors. Maybe they are uncomfortable and are heavy but they can save you from a broken shoulder or collar bone. Ever since that incidence I have worn my shoulder protectors.

Answer 1

Just omit the about and and just start it with Half.

Answer 2

You could use words like "approximately" or "nearly" to start the sentence or you could switch the order around to "I came around a corner too quickly and flew off of my bike about halfway through the race."

Answer 3

well , i have altered your sentence slightly , so that "about" isnt the starter word. " There I was, half way through the race when I came around a corner too fast and flew off of my bike " . hope that helps and good luck

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with starting a sentence with "about." Moreover, while I understand the folks who are recommending other words, like "approximately," I don't think this word is significantly better than "about" is, particularly given that you're writing a story, which tends to lend itself to a more informal tone than they are recommending. Most of their comments boil down to personal preferences.

You have other fish to fry, so to speak. If you're worried about grammar -- and you seem to be -- then read your paper aloud. Then have someone read it aloud to you. If something doesn't sound right, tweak it until it does. (Most of us learn grammar "by ear," and your ear knows the language better than your brain thinks it does. Trust it. Occasionally it'll be wrong, but most of the time, it will serve you well as a grammar-checker.)

When you're done with the reading-aloud bit, go back through and proofread specifically for things like typos and words you didn't mean to use. (For instance, you're focusing right now on "about," but I guarantee your teacher is going to home in on the misuse of "to" later in that same sentence -- that should be "too.")

Answer 5

You should write, "I came around a corner to fast and flew off my bike about halfway through the race." but if this is not a first person paragraph (paper) then it would be improper to use the words "I" and "my".

Answer 6

I say take of the about and start with half actualy u shouldent start the parigraph like that at all we need more of the story to be able to help

Answer 7

Do not use "about" to refer to time / location. I recommend using the word "approximately". In the instant sentence, I suggest cutting the word altogether, it doesn't really add anything.

Answer 8

Approaching the half way point in the race, I ...

Answer 9

Depends....what grade are you in?

Sounds good to me and I write all the time...however no one has a red pen checking my grammar either.

Sure you can use ABOUT.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Sounds fine.