He wont let me go anywhere alone. He says he doesn't want anything to happen to me. I sometimes want some alone time. He doesn't get it! anyone have any advice?
2006-09-13 10:02:46 · 26 answers · asked by tx80sgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hit him with a shovel to knock some sense into him.
2006-09-13 10:04:15 · answer #1 · answered by Sausage Fingers™ 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Your in a bind, (I might get flamed for this ...) since he is your husband you need to honour his requests, after all he is doing it because he is concerned for you.
I would suggest that you find some friends that you enjoy time with, and that he trusts and get your alone time with them. Maybe someone who will let you have "space" in their home, so you can visit them, and have your space. If it is more of an outdoor space that you are looking for, you need to find out if there is anywhere where your husband would let you go, the zoo, or another public area, work it out with him, talk with him (Don't argue) tell him how you are feeling, let him vent abit about his thoughts, and then ask him if there is somewhere that you can get your space. If he says "At home" leave it at that, honour it, and then a month later, tell him that you have tried the "at home" but it isn't working for you. Ask him if there is any other place you can try ... Give the problem to him to solve, most guys love to solve problems for their woman.
I wish you well
2006-09-13 17:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by junkyaus1234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him. This will only get worse. I'm sure he is trying to protect you but everyone needs "me time" Try telling him how you feel. Explain to him that it has absolutly nothing to do with him. But sometimes you just need time to be by yourself to relax and undwind. Never say i just need space sometimes...that might freak him out.
But the first sentence really bothered me. the he wont "let" me go anywhere...ok who is he to tell you what you can or cant do. I mean you are an adult. This is the issue you need to talk to him about. The controlling part. Its sounds like he is very controlling and that is not good!
I would try talking to him and tell him that it needs to be a little more 50/50. That you want to make your own decisions or at least discuss and compromise.
Good Luck
2006-09-13 17:08:53 · answer #3 · answered by Debra J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you teach people how to treat you. He doesn't want you to go anywhere by yourself..ok fine so you understand his point of view but that doesn't make it law and it doesn't mean you HAVE to tolerate it. Apparently though, you have taught him through your past behavior that its ok for him to act this way...change the lesson you taught, teach a new one.
Your man is a control freak and the worst thing you can do with someone like that is play their game, unless you relish the idea of it getting so bad that he starts telling you when you can and can not pee in the future, and it will. He has issues, they will grow, UNLESS you stand up for yourself and shut them down right now. So, when you want to go somewhere alone you say yep I heard you and I understand your point of view, however, I'm a grown woman, your point of view is absurd and WILL go out alone if thats what I wish to do, you are my husband not my 'owner' if you can't deal with that then we have some serious issues that we'll discuss when I get back! Walk out the door and do what you want to do. The end.
2006-09-13 17:08:57 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him and tell him how you feel...if he continues then you two may need to seek professional help...when i first married my husband, he was the same way, at first i thought he just loved me so much and that he didn't want to share me with anyone..then once he chased all my friends away and i had no where to go, that is when the abuse started...so becareful..not saying your husband would be that way...just telling you what i know from experience...hopefully if you open up to him and tell him how you feel, he will give you the alone time that you need (that we all need once in a while) I believe communication is one of the most important parts of marriage, once it's gone, the marriage is doomed. Good luck to ya
2006-09-13 17:22:34 · answer #5 · answered by katydid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my guess is that he's really just doing it all for your saftey,thats all I'm sure.Or he's just curioious if your cheating lol Oh I'm just kidding! :) Anyways it may be also because there are sick perverts out there that rape young women such as ourselves. When you think about it there may come a time when you need him there. But if you truely don't want him there..next time when he say's "he'll go w/ you or whatever...just say no I'm perfectly fine going bt myself... I am safe and no where to kick lol.
Anyways maybe he'd like you take a defense course or something just so he'll get over it! lol anyways hope this helped!
2006-09-13 17:15:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand he loves you and don't want anything to happen to you.But my husband let's me go where i want aslong as I tell him and about what time I would be back if i am late I will call.Everybody needs alone time ever now and then
2006-09-13 17:09:49 · answer #7 · answered by silly_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I here you girl. I am in the same boat. 11 yrs married and I have been out 3 times with my girlfriends. Recently I have just been taking baby steps. I went to a restaurant with the girls, he didn't want me to drink and drive so the girls picked me up and he came to pick me upat 11:30pm. Just take baby steps. I just started around a month ago so you can do it too.
2006-09-13 17:07:44 · answer #8 · answered by SEXY 818 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are married to a control freak and if you don't do something about it very soon you are going to be abused too.
Get out of the realtionship and find someone who actually is secure mentally.
2006-09-13 17:09:17 · answer #9 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is concerned for you. However, you might want to dig a little deeper. Perhaps he has some unresolved issues lingering from previous relationships or issues relating to you. Is it about your safety or lack of trust?
2006-09-13 17:47:16 · answer #10 · answered by lada725 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It starts that way, then it turns no friends, no phone calls, your family is butting in, your clothes aren't right, you smack when you eat, just everything you do bothers him. Your his prisoner
you better get while the getting good because the next thing he will start abusing you physically and mentally.
2006-09-13 17:15:42 · answer #11 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋