for the first time this past weekend. We have been together for nearly two years and felt the time was right to connect on a more 'physical-level'. Now in the past, when we had fooled around, when I would go to touch her on her "private area", she had no problem becoming wet. However, things were different this time around. I touched her and she was barely wet. I recommend that with our next encounter, we introduce lube into our session. Is it normal for a girl not to get wet during foreplay? Is there anything that I should do, or she should do? I do love her with all of my heart and would never leave her in the event it is determined she has a low sex drive. I know Sex isn't everything. But it is a feeling I would love to share and experience with her & only her!
2006-09-13 09:54:29 · 11 answers · asked by xsportfit827 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I totally agree with the person above me. When the birth control pill was introduced on the market, Cosmo had a headline article saying "Women's New Key to Sexual Satisfaction" or something along those lines. Before there was reliable birth control, women had a hard time enjoyed sex because they had to worry about becoming pregnant. The rhythm method, pulling out, spermicide, etc are all much less effective than a properly-taken birth control pill (combined with condoms for STD protection). If a woman feels stressed out or worried, she will have a hard time becoming aroused and lubricated.
The fact that she regularly got wet before suggests that she probably doesn't have a low sex drive. She's just nervous about losing her virginity. The best thing to do is to make the experience enjoyable and natural. If it doesn't happen one night, wait for the next opportunity. Don't do it in a place where you're worried about family or friends walking in. Remember that most guys orgasm through penetrative sex but most women don't, and find other ways to please her. Just because you came doesn't mean she did- and trust me, if you do things right, she WILL come. The best partners I've had have been the ones who get it right the first few times by extending foreplay for hours- making out for half an hour, touching each other, then using our mouths... lots of guys give their women orgasms before the penetrative sex even begins. Pay a bit more attention to her needs and you'll reap the rewards.
2006-09-13 11:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by Jetgirly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, personal feelings aside, please be aware that a guy's sex drive peaks at about age 18-23, while a woman's sexual peak isn't till usually the late 20's to early 30's. So "low sex drive" shouldn't even enter into the picture.
However, please answer this: are you using RELIABLE birth control EXACTLY the way its supposed to be used? If there's even a microscopic possibility that she could get pregnant, that would be enough of a mood killer to keep a girl from getting excited. She might just be over anxious about this VERY real threat.
Finally, being the first time, even though her mouth is saying yes, her body/head is saying hell no. This is pretty typical; every woman is going to feel some level of anxiety the first few times (even a woman who's not a virgin can experience this with a new partner) - fear of pain, pleasing their partner, low personal body image, getting sexual gratification themselves, (again) pregnancy worries - all play a huge part in killing desire.
Give her time; take extra time to make sure she's ready, use some lube (I recommend Astro-Glide), and be SURE to use responsible birth control. She may just not REALLY be ready - don't push.
2006-09-13 10:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that your girlfriend doesn't usually have a problem getting wet with foreplay suggests that she is probably quite anxious about actually having full penetrative sex. You need to sit down and really talk things through - it's natural to be nervous the first time, but try to work out what her main fear is, eg. pain, pregnancy, intimacy etc etc and then try to deal with that. I don't think you should set a date for "we're going to have sex tomorrow night", just fool around as usual, and if it feels right then take it further. There is no pressure on either of you to have sex if you're not totally comfortable with it.
2006-09-13 10:11:01 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she isn't ready to have sex yet so therefore she isn't turned on to the thought of having sex. Don't rush her into something she may not feel comfortable doing. Because she could get scared and break up with her. Girls are really sensitive when having their first intercourse with someone. I know she probably loves you but ask her and see if she is really ready.
2006-09-13 10:01:17 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well she was probably just nervous or scared, that will definatly decrease the lubercation...you know what though that is okay...that is why they make lube..and millions and millions of people use it....Plus everyones sex drive goes up and down on a regular basis, this isn't something to be concerned about it's normal.
2006-09-13 10:01:09 · answer #5 · answered by MyDreams2Be 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have patience have some more time in foreplay and thereby you are likely to get better result. Finally using lub is not a bad idea.
2006-09-13 10:05:01 · answer #6 · answered by Friendly_136 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being nervous or a little scared can make her dry, and that's totally normal.. for women sex is a mind thing first and physical thing second.
be gentle, be patient, and keep loving her like you do right now. it only gets better from here.
2006-09-13 10:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by Patti B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is common with some females to be dry during foreplay. yes as you said use a lubricant.
2006-09-13 09:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is at time for her to get wet around her vagina play with clit and put your finger in her she will tell you when she is wet
2006-09-13 11:43:23 · answer #9 · answered by barbara d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a glass or two of wine. should relax both of you. astro glide is a great lube also.
2006-09-13 10:10:02 · answer #10 · answered by gambling_girl63 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋