This will sound really bad to most people but I do not like my dad. Sometimes I fantasize about him dying in a car accident. My parents adopted me when I was 3 days old. I didnt find out until I was 10. Now I am 5 inches taller than them. I love my mom and we get along great. My dad is really smart. He isnt ugly, but he's my calculus teacher in high school. Everyone likes him because he keeps peoples attention in class. He makes it interesting. He's short and he looks just like Nellie Olson's husband Percival on little house on the prairie! Except his hair is cut short and he's 47. I say mean things to him all the time, like I hate him and wish he was dead. Then he ignores me for days and treats me like I am invisible in class. I like it when he ignores me in class. It takes the spotlight off me being his daughter. He is really a good father and he loves me. So why can't I like him back? Why do I have a complex from being associated with him? And how do I get rid of it?
2006-09-13 08:52:37 · 20 answers · asked by Amanda S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is called teen age rebellion with a little more nuance because of the adoption thing.
Everybody adopted goes through this, wondering what their life would have been with my real parents or what if [my friend's cool parents] adopted me then, ...
I was adopted too.
I am about 10 inches taller than my parents. People notice it a lot less then you think. It is not necessary to ever explain to anyone. All you have to say is yeah, I'm a lot taller.
One thing that you have to remember is that about 33% of kids today are oops babies - not intended. Dont think that every "real" family was intended or wanted at the time.
You have to remember that, unlike, some of those other families, your parents wanted you and love you.
You will get over this and appreciate your dad more when you are not in school with him and when you are older.
Other than that, you need to just get rid of the histrionics and drama and yelling. Really. Have a little more self control.
You can always change/improve your life by the decisions you make today.
2006-09-13 09:37:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is an excellent question and it's important that you answer it yourself, because you're digging a ditch that will be increasingly difficult to fill as you grow older in your ongoing relationship with him. I think you know best why you say you're embarrassed by him. You undoubtedly hurt his feelings when you act mean to him, because as you pointed out, he loves you and he's allowed to expect those feelings to be reciprocated. Perhaps there's something you feel you need to prove to him and think you're coming short, maybe it's just some silly association you make in your head because of who he reminds you... Maybe you're just afraid your friends at school will think you have some privileged "teacher's pet" position on account of your kinship, so you think up anything you can to want to separate yourself from him. We really can't answer this question for you.
I urge you to search you feelings and look deep inside your heart for an answer. It doesn't sound like he deserves being treated the way you say you treat him. Perhaps you should bury the hatchet and ask to speak with him and open up to him; who knows, perhaps with a little dialogue, you'll both get to the bottom of this. If not, at least he'll know why you treat him poorly and he might be able to make some suggestions to you, given that he knows you best. Good luck!
2006-09-13 09:06:19 · answer #2 · answered by rocken_heimer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW
Do you not like him because he's short? You gave no other reason. You say he IS a good father but you are ashamed of him. It is not a crime to be short. Is he Circus "freak show" short or just not tall?
The problem is resentment by you that you weren't adopted into the "perfect" family. Let me tell you - the one you were born into may have been worse. May or MAY NOT have been...you don't know and that makes you mad.
JUST BE THANKFUL you have good parents. People who are not adopted can have it worse off than you. Think of your friends - do they have it so great?
You say everyone likes your Dad - why can't you? Is it jealousy...because he DOES get along with so many kids?
Work through these issues WITH your Dad and ask your Mom to help. It is SO MUCH BETTER to get along with your family. Life is more fun.
2006-09-13 09:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You smarten up and learn to appreciate that you have a good father. Do you have any idea how many kids have fathers who drink, do drugs, hit them, sexually abuse them, or just plain aren't around? Your father sounds like a decent man who has worked hard to provide for you and put up with your rotten, self centered attitude. It's totally normal to feel embarrassed when your father is a teacher and you're in his class, but that is absolutely no reason or excuse to treat him like dirt. Do you really hate your parents, after all they've done for you when you aren't even their biological child, just because their shorter than you? Wow that is a really crappy and shallow attitude. I hope you change.
2006-09-13 09:01:55 · answer #4 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you taking you dad for granted, you could be living in some nasty foster home. You should be ashame, I can't beleive you want everybody to know this. Hug you dad and tell him how proud you are to have him. Girl, you got really lucky. There are a million children out there who would to be in you place, if you don't like him so much, run away and live on the streets and see where that get you. YOU are really mean to be saying something like this, you need to ask God for your forgiveness for acting like this at someone who was nice enough to bring you into their home.
2006-09-13 09:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a parent as your class can certainly be awkward. Is it possible for you to be in another class ? If not you would have to bear up until this grade is over with. My advise is for you to focus only on his teaching. Be modest in your behavior not too chummy nor attention seeking during class..keep a low profile. Ask your dad also to respect your feelings and to understand your awkwardness
This anger will pass. Our minds go crazy during stress. Find a good friend to chatter with during your mood swings, Listen to your fave music.
2006-09-13 09:12:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to come to grips with the fact that you are an ungrateful little...I can't even think of an adequate adjective for you.
He's probably SO VERY glad to be part of your adoption. They ought to give you back to your heroine addict mother or the orphanage or what ever rock they found you under. You don't deserve parents at all.
2006-09-13 08:58:15 · answer #7 · answered by Spud55 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow! this will take time, but you have to understand something ok, they did adopt you for whatever reason, because they saw you and wanted you in there life. thats important, your dad treats you like your invisible because you treat him like hes the worst guy in the world, and bhy what you are saying, most people would love to have a dad like yours. You need to learn to love him, instead of saying hatful things, say things like I love you dad, and you did a good job teaching today, find his intrest and then complement him on them or even help out.
2006-09-13 08:58:14 · answer #8 · answered by justwaitingtoleave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What on Earth is wrong with you dont you know how many girls had a father? Or any man who could love them and not want sex. You are unappreciative and you should be happy to have someone who cares for you.My uncle only has on daughter, whes she got married he didnt even come to the wedding because his wife doesnt like her, this is someone to be embarrased of not your father!
2006-09-13 09:03:21 · answer #9 · answered by dreamgirl4myboy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need counseling.. That is awful. The man loves you. Or he wouldn't have took you in and made a part of his life.. You should seek some help.. Maybe when you are older you will understand.... They do things to help you not hurt you. And if everyone in your class likes him.. He must not be that bad of a person.. think it over.
2006-09-13 08:57:00 · answer #10 · answered by amber22davis 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋