Does anybody know how to deal with a situation like this? Should i get out now or should i stay? Is she using me as a father figure for the kids or what? Please give me the best advice you can i really need it. Thank you
2006-09-13 07:25:59 · 21 answers · asked by LT. DAN 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I also want to point out i know she is not in this relationship for the money she is super loaded way way way way better off than i am
2006-09-13 07:36:38 · update #1
I am a single mom. When I date I am looking for my soulmate, not a father for my son. If you should stay or not really depends on if you love her or not, and if you think you can grow to love the kids. It it is the real thing then you owe it to yourself to make it work. Love doesn't just fall in your lap you know, and the adversity may lead to a great more intimate union for the two of you. If you DON'T love her, get out! For your sake, her sake and the kids sake. You shouldn't let them get used to you if you are going to bail..they will feel hurt and neglected (especailly if Dad isn't in the picture as in my case!) Follow your heart, and if you really like her, or even love her, try to make it work!! Love is a very powerful force..let it guide you.
2006-09-13 07:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by Jo G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I was a and still am a single mother of 4 with 3 different dads. When u meet someone you know the situation u are getting in before u make the next step to commitment in a relationship. If u don't have kids u may be scared but that doesn't mean u have to get out. You would actually be the bigger MAN if u stayed if u really love the person u are with, then u would accept the situation as it is and try to make things right as a family if that is what u are looking 4. Look at it like this ever child needs and wants A Father if u are ready and willing to COMMIT to being a FATHER than go for what u know. You know what u wanted as a child out of ur DAD what u did or didn't get i don't know. Just remember fill the FATHER shoes like u would have wanted someone to have filled them for u. Be all u can be and u will will make her and the kids happy. SHINE let everyone see the MAN in u because only a man can raise a child. Before u do anything make sure u are ready because the child will be the one to suffer in the end. And that's real. The decision is urs to make. BEST WISHES.
2006-09-13 14:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by nikkisativa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two kids with two different dads and my bf doesnt seem to mind.
We've been togeather for 3 yrs and live togeather, he treats my kids like they were his.
I've always worked and make good money, and supported myself and my kids after my divorce so my bf knew up front i wasnt using him for anything.
My sons father is in his life and pays child support
My daughters father only gets her about once a month and dosent pay support.
You need to give us some more information, Are the kids dads in there lifes, do they pay support, or does it look like you would be the sole male figure and support in their lives.
Weither you stay or go depends on if your ready to be a dad and have a premade family.
My bf knew from the beginning it was a package deal.
If this is a situation your not ready for you need to break it off with her now, dont let her kids get attached to you and then you run.
I never let my kids meet a man i dated unless i knew it was going somewhere.
2006-09-13 14:34:08 · answer #3 · answered by bree30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally would never raise another guy's kids - They do not have my DNA so I don't care what happens to them. Yeah I know I'm a shitehead.....
Your girlfriend may be sincere in her caring for you or she may be using you as a meal ticket and father figure for the kids, or some of both. If you're lucky, you gf may want to have a kid with you, but probably only one - can you live with that? If I were you I'd run the other way - life is too short.....
2006-09-13 14:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's me again.. I answered your other question.
Are you not leaving because she is loaded? You owe it to yourself to start your own relationship with someone new.
You are basically taking over/jumping into something that was already started...
Yeah.. there maybe great women out there with kids from previous relationships ..but that's not the point. The point is .. why are you willing to subject yourself to having to potentially deal with issues that in the end you couldn't even win in a court of law.. It's like being a silent-observer with little benefits and more responsibilities..
Obviously.. it is up to you.... Good Luck Adam!
2006-09-13 15:00:18 · answer #5 · answered by RUNINTLKT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you date someone with children, you are dating them/the children/and the other parent of those children. Hate to say it but, if you can't deal with that then I would get out. It just depends on whether you are okay with all that. The other dad's may want time with the children, they may have a bad relationship with your girl and it'll cause stress for her (ie: the relationship as well). These are things you need to think about. It isn't just about you two now, it's also about EVERYONE else that's involved.
Good luck!
2006-09-13 14:38:11 · answer #6 · answered by lilhottiebug 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all if you like her and she likes you what's wrong with being a father figure or just a male figure for her kids. If she is not asking you to be their dad, then don't worry about it. But if you are dating their mom, the only thing is require of you is to be respectful around them and be that male role model for them. I hope a good one. I think the thing that bothers you is the fact that she had two children with different daddies.
2006-09-13 14:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love this girl then you are to accept her kids along with what ever else she has it is a hard situation to be in you just have to man up and try to be there for her. if the kids father is not in their lives then you can be a father figure for them only if you want to be in there lives like that nobody asking you to do that but it also like i said goes back to how to feel for the mother is she worth all this,if she is then go for it
2006-09-13 14:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reminds me of a woman I knew who had 5 kids, all with the same first name, but different last names. When I asked her how she called them into the house, she said, "I calls them by their last names."
Dump her. Life with her will be nothing but trouble for you. If she got out of two other relationships, she surely can dump you when she thinks she needs another guy. She will never be happy solely tied to one guy for the rest of her life. She will either get bored with you, or get mad at you, or whatever excuse she needs to get out. Find a nice girl who has never had kids and never been married. She would make you happier.
2006-09-13 14:59:18 · answer #9 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didn't you know she had 2 kids when you started dating her ?? You didn't have a problem with it then, right ? So now what happened ? You let all your guy friends put sh*t in your head ? Are they telling you she is only with you for $$ ? You know, even a girl with kids needs to date too and you shouldn't automatically think she's looking for a daddy for her kids. If it bothers you then make sure you dont date girl with kids to begin with.
2006-09-13 14:29:36 · answer #10 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋