you meet a transgendered pre-op and date? what does that make you? issues with this would be obvious, lesbians are for the most part attracted to women, if you're dating a female to male pre-op transgender, they're masculine in appearance but female underneath. you find yourself not really physically attracted to the outter shell simply because you see a male when you look at them but you know they're female underneath. would you still identify yourself as lesbian? in public you're viewed as a normal heterosexual couple, in your local gay community people don't know he's a transgender and question your sexuality now. how do you respond without letting out his "secret"? gay pride is very important to you and you've always been pro active in your local gay community, now you're feeling not so welcome because they see you as heterosexual now. you begin to feel as though you don't belong to anywhere, almost as alot of people feel like outcasts before coming out.
2006-09-13 07:15:16 · 13 answers · asked by Ms. Meli 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Well, you just put my life in a question hon! I have married a FTM (pre-op) and I get the "are you still a Lesbian" question constantly! My wife, as I met her, looked like a very tough butch woman, and I have always loved butch women so there was no issue then. On our first date she told me the she was trans...a bit of a mild shock for me never having dealt with it before, but I was interested in her so I went with it. Now we are married, sometimes she has some stubble on her face and she binds and packs...I'm also supposed to start using male pronouns, which is difficult simply because I have been saying "she" for so long. I love my wife/husband, as she/he is changing on the outside the inside stays the same - the loving and kind person I fell in love with. I am still a Lesbian, meaning that I will always be attracted to women. However, since we are Married (legally!) any attractions to either gender is moot...because I will only be with my spouse, and I should only be attracted to her/him. As for the rest of the community - I still go to pride with my gay boys, my spouse stays home because she/he has never enjoyed it. We go to gay clubs with our friends sometimes, and we don't really care about other people's perceptions. For the most part we are active in the Transgender community - there is even a separate Transpride in our area - and we are home bodies who are trying to set up a happy life and are working on buying a house. and to your question of not belonging anywhere: we do belong, we belong to each other.
2006-09-13 08:56:08 · answer #1 · answered by Alexis 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am a Gay man, filled with Gay pride. BUT I also have sex with women occasionally. So, I like to joke that this makes me a male Lesbian!
I've taken a lot of flack from certain people in the GLBT community for not being "Gay enough" and I usually just tell them to mind their own business. Or I put a guilt trip on them for being so shallow as to criticize my choice of partner.
2006-09-13 07:33:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
from what you're asserting, you do look so plenty greater fascinated in women persons, so probably particular. even nevertheless it ought to easily be slightly (not meant to sound paronising). i conflict by way of something like that, i've got continually pointed out myself as gay, i admire adult males to bits :P yet am startng o hink i ought to be bi, merely not have a relationshuip with a girl - im not camp in any respect and get on quite nicely wih women persons, yet i couldn;t have something greater advantageous than informal intercourse with a girl if i've got been to. i might nevertheless call myself gay nevertheless, merely via fact thats what i understand terrific :D
2016-10-14 23:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by reus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say the transsexual is still the sex he was born with. so a Mtf is Male, and a FtM is Female. If you date a FtM you date a woman, you are lesbian.
If the gay community doesn't welcome you anymore because you date a FtM, then that shows the level of intelligence in the gay community once more.
Transsexuality has, in my eyes, a lot to do with "not belonging anywhere anymore", that basically is their choice, to make an operation that takes them far away from themselves....
like I said, lesbian....having a ..... doesn't make her a MAN.
2006-09-13 15:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You belong together, whilesoever it may last. Have no concerns nor cares for what others may think. If they judge you wanting now whereas before they loved and accepted you. It begs a question what kind of friends acquaintances they really are?
Just you live your life and find contentment and comfort where you may. Everyone else is surely doing the same.
2006-09-13 07:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sex is all in the mind if thees two hypothetical people feel in love it would be because they them selves as women. Eventually the transsexual will be post op. any way. I don't want a relation with a man, not because of what's between his legs, but what's between his ears.
Tammi Dee
2006-09-13 08:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by tammidee10 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I wanted to write a supporting answer, but I know I can never touch the level of Sandy's answer. Still, good luck to this hypothetical couple.
2006-09-13 09:36:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, someone who really supports LGBT rights and freedoms will respect your right to be with each other and define your sexuality as you see fit. You'll probably also find that a *lot* of women, and men too, can understand that story lately.
2006-09-13 07:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
well now there is the problem with labels like "lesbian" or
identifiers as you put it. there will always be little problems
with pigeonholes, even if we choose them ourselves.
humans don't fit neatly into pigeonholes. they are just a
convenience that doesn't fully describe reality.
2006-09-13 07:18:31 · answer #9 · answered by Sufi 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Forget about labels and go with ur feelings no matter what they are you will be more at peace with yourself then
2006-09-13 09:18:24 · answer #10 · answered by Surviving on love 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋