My name is Lucy and I am 24yrs old I have been living with my father ever since my parents divorce and I have a long relationship with my boyfriend which my father disapproves of , just recently slowly but steadily my father has managed to make life with him unberable by touching on subjects that I have very tactfully have asked him to stay away from, but unfortunatelly he seems not to want to quit on the subjects that I asked Him not to comment on. I no longer feel at peace in my on house and recent events caused my boyfriend to offer a hand a help by offering me a stay at his house until we can move to a better place to be on our own , my dilema is that presently my significant other does not have employment and that concerns me by living with him I do not know if it is going to be a sound choice I feel that is time for me to move on my own and that althought is a big step it has to be done. Is it normal to feel afraid of changes ?!
2006-09-13 06:54:12 · 22 answers · asked by Luna23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
haha, no job
2006-09-13 06:56:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lucy, as a father I can relate to yours. Protected you for 24 years and now you "like some bum, that can't support you" like I did and you don't even know if he is that special. Well if the guy doesn't step up and be a man, dump him and live in peace at home with Dad till the right guy comes along........Sounds like the bf needs some focus, life is a tough teacher, first the test and then the lesson. Fearing change is natural, having a good support team is very important to make the journey easier.
2006-09-13 07:10:43 · answer #2 · answered by Outside the box 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in every situation remeber u father have cared for u all thses 24 years so u shd know he does not hate u and have ur best interest at heart
he was once ur age and he sees beyound what u see and besides he is a man too so he knows what he is talking about about
ofcus its very hard when someone tried to break ur love away from u
just try and see things from ur dads point of view for a while and work with ur boyfriend on the subject at hand
about moving in with ur boyfriend just be sure u both have stable jobs to take care of the bill cus if u go renting and u cannot pay the bills it will be taken awy from u or u will be eveicted
its ok to be afraid of the changes cus that shows u are matured now to carry ur own world in ur hands
just take it easy so u walk the like and not leep and crush
i learnt the hard way too so that just my thoughts
2006-09-13 07:04:19 · answer #3 · answered by maku d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's a big and scary step but you will feel so much better to start living your life on your own. Gain your independence and stand strong. Do not let this boyfriend of yours take advantage of you and not contribute to your new living situation. Do not let him bring you down with bad choices. Once you move out this is the step to your "adult" life without daddy's hand to hold on too. Now dad can accept your relationships as they are since you are not in his home and come by to visit only.It's hard but once you get over the hump then everything gets easier. Good luck to you, and congrats on the move.
2006-09-13 07:01:15 · answer #4 · answered by Nikie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should move out on your own. If you aren't comfortable with your father then leave. I wouldn't suggest moving in with your boyfriend simply because he doesn't have a job. People change when you move in with eachother.. he may see that you have a job and will pick up his slack for him..
You are 24 years old and it's high time you struck out on your own and became independant. My brother is 28 and still living with my mom...he has no life and I know he can't be fully happy even though he says he is... Move out, have a life, decorate your home with what suits you best.
Moving in with your bf would only make your father mad and then cause problems with you and him. Break it to him easily, I think he would have a better time of dealing with it if he knew it was just you and not you and your bf moving in together
2006-09-13 07:00:42 · answer #5 · answered by Miss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The BEST option for you is to move out on your own if possible. Move out you must. If you are 24 and your dad is still trying to control your life its time to leave.
It is very normal to be scared and feel afreaid of changes but the bigger question you ask yourself is what is more important to you ? the change you intend to make or stay where you are and continue to accept the crap ?
Just make sure you cover your rear and make changes a step at a time and onec you are into the process you will gain confidence enough that the fear will not be a problem anymore. best of Luck.
2006-09-13 07:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by GoodGuy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 24, time to move out of your dads house. You can't expect him not to "touch on subjects" that you don't want to discuss. The only way you can put that rule out there is if you are in YOUR OWN HOME. Until then you gotta live by his rules. Simple math. You are six years past when you should have left home. Do it now. Whether you life with bf or anyone else, it's time for YOU to support YOURSELF and make all of the decisions that come along with that. Good Luck to you.
2006-09-13 06:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I moved out the day I turned 18. This was a personal choice, and one I am still glad to this day that I made. If you feel you are ready, and at 24, you should be getting close - then move out. Moving in with your boyfriend is another subject in itself and would require some serious thought on your end. If he is unemployed and living at home, I wouldn't reccomend it.
2006-09-13 06:58:53 · answer #8 · answered by iswd1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allot of people fear change. Its something out of the norm for them. You have to do what you think is right for you. You are old enough to live on your own and start a life of your own. I'm hoping that this so wonderful boy friend that has no job but yet still wants you to live with him, will also grow up and get a job and become the man you want him to be. I hope it all works out for you.Just keep your eyes open!
2006-09-13 06:58:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own question. If after being around someone considerable amount of time you have doubts, than consider puting one option on hold. Seems like father may not be most pleasant to live with. Have you considered moving out on your own.
2006-09-13 07:13:47 · answer #10 · answered by Mister2-15-2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, every one is afraid of change. My opinion is that u should move out (for sure) If u choose to go with ur boyfriend make sure he gets a job(even if its at a fast food pl. as long as its a job.) so that way u don't get stuck taking care of him. Good luck.
2006-09-13 07:08:22 · answer #11 · answered by a7xrios 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋