Have just been promoted at work and am now managing women who a) I used to do the same job as and b) are older than me by 30 years! I used to get on very well with one particular colleugue but now she will only answer me in one word answers when I speak to her. She will chat away to everyone else in the office but will stop talking when I join in. She is being careful not to give me a reason to report her for bullying/harrassment but the atmosphere is AWFUL. What can I do?
2006-09-13 06:41:36 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
awwww congratulations for the promotion i wouldnt worry if she was trully your friend then she would be happy for you and wouldnt be so stuck up and jelous but if you are worried then try getting her on her own for some coffe and just a chat dont ask her about it or anything just give her some time to get use to it when youre together just chat n try n make conversation im sure you too will be back to talking in no tim i wouldnt worry othewrwise good luck xxxxxxxx
2006-09-13 06:47:05 · answer #1 · answered by hello_o_there_o_bob 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jealousy is a BIG GREEN monster.
You should take her to the side and ask her what's up? When at work you don't need to make friends though day after day there are friendships that evolve. Apparently she has issues with whatever is on her mind. Don't let it bother you. You were promoted because someone saw that you were the best person for the job.
On the issue of bullying & harrassment there is no claim because as you stated she doesn't speak to you when you come over just one word answers to questions. If you need more information to a question tell her to be specific when the question calls for details.
When all else fails contact your EEOC person within your company or the HR director and have them confront her. If she is not being helpful to you "work wise" show her you will not play her game. Good Luck.
2006-09-13 07:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not let this situation continue one more day, you need to take her aside and speak directly to her, do not dress it up or try to "be nice." Be completely professional, but leave her with no doubt that you are not going to allow her attitude towards you to go unchecked, if you allow her to undermine you then it is only a matter of time before the rest of your team start to see how far they can go too. Even if they don't her behaviour will create an atmosphere over time that will become harder to deal with. By ignoring her you are actually telling her that you are not going to do anything about her. Tell her her you have noticed her attitude towards you seems to have changed and give her the opportunity to tell you why, then tell her that whatever her reasons are she will just have to learn to deal with it as you are not going to put up with the old trout's behaviour. Document what you tell her and make sure she signs it - call it a counselling session, otherwise she will be the one who may report YOU for bullying and harassment. Good Luck, don't let her spoil your well earned promotion.
2006-09-13 09:41:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as though she was one of the candidates for the promotion and is angry that she didn't get the job.
Take her into your office and have a talk to her. Make it clear that it was not you that made the decision not to promote her but someone higher up in the company and that you think it a little unfair that you are being treated in this way.
Make it clear that either way you still have to work together and it is better to be on good terms than bad. It will be up to her then.
If she takes these situations to heart she is not someone I would give a position of authority to. She is obviously not cut out for management, which is probably why she didn't get it in the first place.
2006-09-17 04:19:03 · answer #4 · answered by LYN W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should invite her for a coffee and have a quiet word. Let her know you are not out to get her or anyone else just because you were promoted but have to treat everyone the same way. Let her know if you hear of any bullying from her or anyone else you will have no option but to report the matter as this kind of thing can be soul destroying for anyone its aimed at. Try to be hard but fair!
2006-09-13 06:48:50 · answer #5 · answered by mistickle17 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she's the embodiment of the old adage "Once the boss, never a friend".
Firstly, you can bring up the problem with your own superiors at work, let them know what's going on. If they can resolve the situation, so be it.
If they tell you it's your problem, try this instead - make her your eyes and ears. Take her to one side, as you would, and instead of giving her the rough edge of your tongue as she might expect, tell her that the promotion's left you in a position where you're no longer in touch with the women you were once friends with.
But since you're now in a position of responsibility for their overall performance as a team, as well as responsibility for their individual welfare, you'll need someone on the ground, whom they trust and respect; someone who knows what needs done, who needs help, who's going to be taking time off on maternity leave soon and so on.
In other words, you ask her to be the go between between you and the women. If you find yourself gone from the shop floor for a short time, she'll be the one to stand in until you get back, because if anyone knows the ins and outs of that team, it's her.
Show her her value to you, and that there's still a place for her in the team. And tell her you'll be expecting reports and advice from her, not one word answers and surly grunts.
Even if this woman still looks resentful and even jealous at the prospect, fulfil your word anyway. Assign her this task, and thereby give her just enough rope to hang herself with, if she tries to use it against you.
2006-09-13 07:35:19 · answer #6 · answered by fiat_knox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a lot you can do really. You got promoted, she did not, she is older than you, she hates this young whipper snapper that is her boss ( it is like being bossed by your children, what do they know). If you are a good boss, a fair boss, a pleasant boss, in time she will melt and get over the resentment she is feeling now.
You could take her aside, somewhere private and say " I sense something is wrong, I would like it if we could all work together as one happy team, do you have a problem". If she wont open up to you there is not much you can do only see if things improve with time, good luck !!!!!!!!
2006-09-13 06:59:47 · answer #7 · answered by Dolly Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's clearly jealous of you getting the job over her. In general it's best to certainly be friendly but keep a certain distance from people who work for you, not get too friendly especially if you were at the same level as them before, because they then start to take advantage of you and see you as a soft touch. make sure you do your job to the best of your ability then she'll see you deserved your promotion. If her behaviour carries on this way your other colleagues can't fail to notice and will probably tell her she's out of order. Your promotion may still be raw for so give her some time for the news to settle in but if it continues you have to take her to one side and explain, but make sure you don't make it personal keep it totally profession.
2006-09-13 06:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by Moo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably resentful because you got the promotion. Maybe she wanted it too. As long as she is respectful and does her job there is nothing you can do about it. if she does start to give you any type of attitude write her up or take her to your superivsor. Let her know that this behavior will not be tolerated. Remember, you are their boss first and friend second. Dont let anyone walk all over you or make you feel guilty because you are the one who got the promotion.
2006-09-13 06:46:15 · answer #9 · answered by fat_albert_999 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk to her privately in your office... tell her you sense a lot of tension and animosity from her and would like her input on the cause of it.
let her say whatever she has to say and get it off her chest. if you're the one who got promoted than you shouldn't let her make you feel bad about it... they promoted you for a reason. maybe getting this off her chest will help. if not then you keep doing the good job you have been doing to deserve your promotion and don't let her resentment or whatever it is get you down.... her attitude may be the exact reason she wasn't promoted and you were.
word of advice though... keep private notes on your conversation and keep it in her personnel file... if she causes trouble in the future and has to reprimanded, then those notes may be needed as documentation of an ongoing problem. no, you don't have to tell her you're keeping notes on her attitude and behaviour.
good luck.
2006-09-13 06:55:56 · answer #10 · answered by Patti B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋