okay, if you have answered my questiosns before,i'm still urked.....?

Question

if anybody has some information on how i can gain custody of my niece, please help. she is verbally abused...meaning when i was i little girl i had trouble with math, but i didn't want to ask my parents, 'cause they were really strict. i decided to ask my dad one time for help on a math problem and he told me i was good for nothing and called me stupid because i didn't know how to do the problem. i know i'm not stupid and that was 16 years ago, (i was 11 at the time),it still hurts sometimes that a parent could say that to a child and think its right. we used to live in the projects and they were really bad. gangs, killings, rapes. that place was horrible. my parents moved me and my brother and sister to another state to hopefully better ourselves, but the only ones that got better were me and my siblings. my parents seem to have gotten worse and stayed with their old ways . now my niece is paying for it with having to be called stupid and other horrible names. she's 12.......

and she already hates herself. she hates the fact that she is mixed race, she can't stand her mother, she is very rebellious and frankly, i don't blame her. living with my parents is bad, i would rather go back and live in the courts than with them. i'm married now, i have two kids and a great job . i feel proud, but what do i do?????

oh, to answer leogils08's question.. yes i can afford to raise her. i had opened up an account to help her out and its building up. so i've been prepared.

Answer 1

Its going to be a tough battle but you need an attorney that specializes in family law or domestic disputes.Only way to go and good luck to you and you should be proud of the character you display and the love of children..,after reading an abortion question..,wished more women were like you.God bless your kind and loving heart.

Answer 2

It's a serious and terrible situation this child is in. No one should have to endure this type of treatment. Calling Social Services will bring their problems to the authorities, but it may not be enough for a child to be taken away and raised by someone else. Keep up with S.S. so that if they go to the house they'll know that you are interested. They like to give children to relatives first. Even if you can't get the child away from the parents there are still things you CAN do as a concerned family member. You can let her hang with you as much as possible. Let her stay weekends or spend the summer with you. Never talk negative about her mom or dad b/c you don't have to. She knows the difference between you and them. Get life affirming books, music, movies, etc. that will let her know her worth and help relieve the depression she's feeling. When you talk to her, hold her hand and look her in the eyes. Let her know "Auntie" loves her and she can come to you anytime. This can make a world of difference. My mother was not physically abusive, but she was very neglectful of us, but nobody ever reported her. It was a hard and depressing life, but I remember the times that my paternal grandmother would pick me up and let me spend weekends with her. It was such a pleasant atmosphere that it gave me something to look forward to and helped me when I became a grandparent. You can take her to get her hair or nails done, buy her something nice to wear and speak something positive into her life that will give her the strength to bear the negative.

Answer 3

The very first thing you need to do is get your niece to put everything that is going on in WRITING. You really need to help her right that so that nothing is left out and it tells the cold hard truth because kids tend to sugar coat things a bit. In that writing she needs to express how good you are to her and how much she wants to live with you. Then you need to put your experience with your parents, and what you have witnessed with your niece in writing. Then take that to the Department of Family and Children's and speak with a case worker. If they decide to remove the child from the home, they look to put her with family. Foster care and state custody is always a last resort due to the overload of children they have. So, do not worry about that. This is what you need to do if you can not spend hundreds of dollars on an attorney. Be care full to keep this from ALL members of your family so they can not try to intervene first. Make sure to explain to your niece how important it is to keep it a secret if you have any chance of gaining custody of her. Verbal and Emotional abuse is very hard to prove, so make sure your letters are explain everything and how it effects her. Also you will need to be able to prove that you can take care of her. Good luck. I've been in your shoes.

Answer 4

So your parents have custody of your niece?

I would ask your parents if maybe they would let you take her off of their hands. Or talk to your brother or sister (whoever is your niece's parent) to see what arrangement can be made. Tell them maybe she could do better and feel better about herself in a different environment.

Answer 5

Are you able to afford the raising of this young lady? If so then why don't you talk to you Aunt and convince her that this would be the best place in order for their daughter to get the best opportunities. If that don't work then use the old "sticks and stones" method. And let you niece know that you are there for her to talk at any time.

Answer 6

call child protective is the only thing i can think of. i feel really bad for the both of u; nobody should have to put up w/ that.