Before I got married I always thought that when I did get married it would just be this blissful amazing thing full of cuddling, kissing and love making. Instead after our week long honeymoon in mexico we got home and just started fighting with eachother almost every day. It was so hard and both of us wanted to give up but we stayed together and it's been over a year now it's gotten so much better. I'm just curious what happened to the "newly wed bliss" that everyone talks about. I have also had a cousin who only stayed married for four months and another friend who only lasted a month before filing for divorce. Any ideas?
2006-09-13 06:08:55 · 15 answers · asked by hideemosquito 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When two people get married and come to live together, there is an adjustment period. You have to learn to do things together and quit expecting the other person to read your mind. You have to learn to quit trying to change each other and just love each other for what you are. That takes time.
2006-09-13 06:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I just got married a month and a half ago. After we got back from the honeymoon things started to go south. Then we would get back on track for about a week and then things fall apart again. It's been like a roller coaster. It just feels like I'm putting a helluva lot more into it. And, he gets upset if I bring up what he isn't doing. We are at one of those rocks right now. He always manages to eventually see the light and admit that I'm right so I'm just going to wait this one out. When I was at that altar I made a covenant and I'm holding onto it. Divorce is not the answer right now. Try everything you can to work it out and adjust. But, if you can't then I guess you have to do what you have to do.
2006-09-13 07:11:16 · answer #2 · answered by Coco 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be impossibly immature. How long did you know this person before you jumped into a marriage? Didyou really think that getting married would make life blissful? You still have to deal with dirty socks and differing opinions... they should make it much more difficult to get married, so that people like you and your cousin and friend will have time to learn about what it is you are committing to. But then again, getting a divorce real fast shows no one committed to anything.
2006-09-13 06:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to Janicajayne. I would have said the same type of thing.
She hit it on the head.
My marriage was the same way, we adjusted to eachother and after two years, yeah two years all was well, but that was about the time when we had our daughter, so we had to grow up and realize that we had a child to raise.
There will always be hard times in marraige, but the good times always out wiegh them and just remember the honeymoon for those times that things are stressful.
It's normal, don't worry too much.
2006-09-13 06:48:58 · answer #4 · answered by Martin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every marriage has its ups and down.. Yes, fighting gets worse, especially when children comes in.,
It is a period of adjustment for both of you, but finding fault with each other will only worsen the situation
Except of harse words, go for the kind words, starting every morning. The mood may change along the day, but you can always try it,, it will work..
Or if you wish,, do it before bed time,, say something nice to each other, or even just you.. it will ease the days tension.
You still have a long way to go but you can both survive if you are willing to.
Good luck
2006-09-13 06:16:57 · answer #5 · answered by yulnores 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Coming back to reality after going through the stress of planning a wedding and then getting to blissfully escape and then having to crash back down can be tough. If your fights are about little non-substantial things as long as you make up and move on it is normal. If it is only really important stuff seek a marriage counselor. You would be amazed what a little guidance from someone who doesn't have a horse in the race can do. I wish you a happy marriage
2006-09-13 06:13:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it was rocky for me and my husband when we were bf/gf.
then we had a kid. It became more rocky.
Then we kept postponing the marriage cuz i thought it wasnt a good idea because it was so rocky anyways. ...So we eventually got married anyways.
It remained rocky. After one month of marriage and two and a half years together, and another child, we seperated becuase the rocks caused to much stress.
We are seperated as of now. We went threw the custody thing before we got married. We still see each other during the week and guess what.....things are still rocky! So maybe it just isnt ment to be.
Wish you better luck.Remember, it is okay to make a mistake.
2006-09-13 06:10:30 · answer #7 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Growing up we all want the cinderella story. that doesnt exist but no one tells us that when we are young. They say the first 5 years of marriage are the hardest and that is so true. Now adays people dont have the values that they used to have and it is to easy to just say forget it and get a divorce. people dont want to put in the effort to make it work. Our society is getting selfish and lazy. I think that everyone forgets in the vows it says, for better or worse but when the worse comes and you have hit bottom instead of working your way back up together people just give in and walk away. Then you have single people or people who havent been in your situation critisizing you for making your marriage work. Marriage is about love and comitment and fighting and at times hating that other person, but that is what being a human is you just have to remember why you married that person and that you love them and be willing to fight to the very last breath to make it work and in the end it will
2006-09-13 06:14:38 · answer #8 · answered by Trouble 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The "bliss" is a myth!
So are happy marriages, I no longer believe in voluntary/involuntary servitude myself!
CT
2006-09-13 06:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a common thing for most couples. It is just whether you love each other enough that will keep you together or not.
2006-09-13 06:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by imnotbtami 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋