how do i know if my husband is cheating?

Question

he never want to be alone with me

Answer 1

From http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/...

If you have suspicions that your spouse is having an affair, you may be wondering what to do. Here are some suggestions to help you cope with your suspicious thoughts and alternatives to spying on your partner.


Don't make any rash decisions or jump to conclusions. Although statistics show that 85% of women, and 50% of men eventually discover their suspicions were right and their spouse was cheating, you could be wrong.

Ask yourself some questions: Do you believe your spouse is committed to your relationship? Do you think your partner would share with you any feelings of discontent or unhappiness in your marriage? Is your mate capable of breaking the vows you made to one another? Do you have intense feelings of jealousy or mistrust?

Discuss your concerns with your spouse. Don't accuse. Make sure you use "I" comments, such as "I'm concerned about you not calling me when you said you would on your last business trip" or "When I washed your clothes, I discovered some disturbing things in your pockets."

Avoid walking on eggshells around your partner. Don't become pathetic, whiny, weak, or dependent.

Be specific about what you won't tolerate such as lying, secret meetings, emotional intimacy, and sharing confidences with someone your mate feels a sexual chemistry.

When you confront your spouse with your suspicions, share both what is making you uncomfortable and your love for your spouse. State your hope that your marriage can survive this crisis of mistrust, but that you won't tolerate sharing your mate with someone else.

Stop snooping around for evidence in your mate's email, phone records, visa statements, etc. If you are consumed with fear and worry about your spouse's behavior, do you really see any future with this person? If you can't trust your partner without spying, why are you still married? Your money and time would be better spent seeking marriage counseling.

Trust your intuition. Your gut instinct is probably right.

Get tested for HIV/AIDS and other STDs. This is not only for your physical health, but also for your own peace of mind.

Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Nipping infidelity in the bud gives your marriage a fighting chance. However, you should prepare yourself financially, legally, emotionally, and mentally for the fact that your marriage may not survive.

Together, take an honest look at your marriage. When was the last time the two of you had fun together? How would you rate your sex life? Do you ever take romantic trips together? Do you listen to one another? Do you fight fairly? Are you both happy with your marriage? Do you respect and like one another?

If your spouse refuses to seek help for your marriage, or is very vague when discussing your questions, this type of evasive behavior could be your answer. This puts the ball in your court and you will need to decide what you want to do with your future.

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 2

Have you asked him ?? Maybe try to work on communicating , if he is disinterested and distant, it doesnt always mean he is cheating , My wife says the same kind of thing , Men are typically emotionally detached from anything dealing with feelings and the like .......How long have you been together ?? some nights I barley make it out of the garage to chat with my wife . It could be cheating but not all men are cheats . I would say it depends on his character , do you feel like he was premiscious before you got married ?? there must be another reason you feel he is cheating ? I think that sometimes after being married for awhile men tend to kinda get complacent , I love my wife and would never cheat on her . But to someone that didnt know us they might think wow you two are married .We often sleep in seperate beds . Its not a big deal unless there are other signs, the best thing to do is just flat out ask him ......when my wife asks if i was cheating on her it makes me laugh so hard, I say ""no hunny I was metal detecting, I already have one lady why in the heck would i want two""?? I think she gets it now ........good luck and I hope he is not a cheat .....if he is then just split and dont look back because it will never change , it may get better for awhile but it will be the same pain over and over again ...........

Answer 3

My husband is the same way, but he's just a terrible social bug. The minute he gets home from work, he's calling someone to come over, especially the weekends. It gets very tiring and kind of frustrating because sometimes I think he's bored with me. But I don't think it has anything to do with cheating, I know he adores me. He just has a lot of friends. But if you suspect, you should start checking up on him. Good luck.

Answer 4

Is he taking phone calls outside or out of ear shot? Is he coming home late from work, when he usually does not? Is he not letting see his cell phone? Is he on some type of medication that lowers his sex drive? Have you guys been fighting at all? There are alot details missing that could help. But if he does not want to be alone with you he just might have alot on his mind. Try talking to him and see what the issue (if any) might be.

Answer 5

So why would it be important to prove infidelity just to get divorced? If he provides financial security now, then a judge would expect him to provide that after divorce. My feeling is he doesn't have a job and neither do you. He leaves for weeks and doesn't even call home to check on the kids? Great Dad you chose for your children. Call it quits and focus on yourself and your children. File for divorce so you can get an order for child support for the kids and you can start getting your life back on track. Who cares if he's a cheater. He's obviously not a good husband or a good father. Don't waste any more time.

Answer 6

the fact you think he is cheating is all the proof you need. a womens intuition is usually correct. I am sorry to hurt you, but he more then likely cheating. you can ask him and he will denie it. You will drive yourself crazy trying to find out, you will become obssessed with the matter, you will spy on him, check his email, phone messages, drive around and spy on him. I knew my husband was cheating and also one of my fiance. I was obssesed and it controlled my life haviing to know their every move. My heart goes out to you. But once a cheater always a cheater. There is marriage counseling, but you will deap down ever be able to forgive him and the trust is gone. so you will end up pushing him away but always wondering if he is cheating and asking and spying on him. get out now before it ruins your life. i wish someone one would have told me all of this when i knew i was being cheated on. it litterally took over my life. the only thing i cared about in life was spying and knowing my mans every move. He swoar up and down he was not cheating but he was. when he finally came clean he said he did not cheat. because there was no sex or kissing, all she gave him was blow jobs. my heart goes out to you.... but just knowing that you have the feeling he is cheating is the first sign that he is a cheating. a women knows these things, and a man will denie. When he finally does leave you he will say he left you because of your constant nagging and checking up on him all the time. he will this your fault. when a man does not want intercouse then you know he is cheating....

Answer 7

If you have a gut feeling or clues that he is cheating, most likely he is cheating. If he is not, maybe the problem is a trust issue. Either way, relationships are built on trust and you need to resolve this problem. I suggest that you seek counseling, if he will not go with you, please get some help for yourself. This will destroy you if not resolved. Best of health and happiness.

Answer 8

The answer you gave is, he doesn't want to be alone with you, stays out all night, smell perfume on his shirt , phones rings you answer they hang up or try to sound like some old woman asking for him. When you shopping with them they'll stay far away from you, like they don't know you. When you write a check it bounces
after you deposited your check two days ago, watch out.

Answer 9

A private-eye on TV once said that when people come to him, if they think there spouse is cheating, 90% of the time they are right!

Answer 10

Try the " Do you want to have a 3some" approach. If he says yes then start screaming at him that he is a cheating whore and why would he want some other woman.