He won't talk to me about anything. Everytime I try, he changes the subject. I want to take care of the important things, he's worried about the little things. He moved me away from my family and promised me and my son a better life. Told me we were going to get married right away, told me he was going to put the checking account in both of our names. I know this guy loves me, I love him too. But he has made promises he is not keeping , and when I question him, he gets mad at me. He won't talk to me. I don't know what to do. His Ex caused us prob's, we jumped at his promotion to move as well. His kids hate us, because they think their dad should be with their mom, but he left because she cheated on him twice, and had another mans baby, they still blame us. He talks to his ex from time to time and says he doesn't love her that he wants to be with me, why is he not talking to me about getting married anymore? We are together 3yrs Should I leave?
2006-09-13 05:48:40 · 14 answers · asked by Mother of One 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your question hit home with me. I have alot of the same issues but I wasn't made any promises. I know you want an answer but there really isn't one... you have to make the choice yourself. As far as his kids they will grow out of thinking that their parents should be together. He needs to talk to them and explain that they can't be together. You are in a very sticky situation, trust me I know from personal experience. If you want to talk more about this email me or IM me on yahoo.... It definitely helps to have someone to talk to that is going through something very similar.
2006-09-13 05:56:53 · answer #1 · answered by Redneck Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he won't tlak to you I would try writing him a very seriously letter that tells him everything that you are feeling and what you need from him in order to stay with him. I would say that the time fram you put onthis should be how long you think you can last if nothing changes. Sometimes love isn't enough and maybe he hasn't moved on from his ex. Do what's best for yourself and your son. Most likely he'll come to his senses and realize that you are unhappy and do everything possible to make you happy if he doesn't he's not right for you and you'll have your answer. Good luck!
2006-09-13 12:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by hideemosquito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't talk to you now, it's not going to get any better, married or not. There are alot of issues here, including the man's children, who are showing animosity. Be careful, the man may turn on you in the future in order to get his childrens' love back. You said "they still blame us"...it's almost as if you were in the picture before he and the former wife split up. Can you clear that up? Be careful and think of your son....do you want him in a situation that is so tense?
2006-09-13 13:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by watergirl54 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be a really nice person. But, I want to speak some truth into your life for a minute. When we focus on the creation of God (which is man or woman) instead of the Creature, which is God, our lives will always be backwards. You see, he may love you, but something is going on in his mind that is bothering him. Every situation is different but, with my marriage my husband kept(somehow) running into his ex. Well, we have great communication, so that is how I knew he needed closure with her. I did not understand it, and I was able to be apart of the experience. Basically, just pray, and ask God to let His will be done in your life. When you seek His guidance you will never go wrong.
2006-09-13 12:56:48 · answer #4 · answered by Selah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked HIM this question? It's possible he's simply stringing you along - that he'll put off the marriage as long as he can. Is it what he truly wants? You're gonna have to sit him down and just get to the bottom of things...Right now, things are just up in the air for you and that's not cool - you deserve an answer, no matter WHAT it may be.
2006-09-13 12:52:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice to u would be to first figure out what kind of Woman you want to be, what kind of Girlfriend, and eventually what kind of Wife you want to be. what do u expect of yourself, as a mother of his children, etc etc? Make sure that you are doing ur best to always be better.
next, figure out what kind of Man you want, what kind of Boyfriend, eventually what kind of HUSBAND you want and need him to be. what do u expect from him?
then, figure out what you want from the Relationship. is it marriage? probably yes. therefore, u have to talk to him, Communicate, and find out what HE expects from himself, from you, and from the relationship.
if u guys have similar goals, most likely u'll be able to get thru this. *but*, if he does not communicate w/ you; if he doesn't try to fix things w/ you; he doesn't satisfy or fulfill your Needs and Wants in this relationship........ this is bad. u guys are in for ROUGH time. =T. and the thing is, even if he Was receptive and communicative, it doesn't mean things will be easy. therefore, you guys are having Major problems.
if u don't see a Healthy, Positive Future w/ him, and u don't feel that he is willing to HELP work with you to achieve that, then my suggestion would be to let him go. find someone who WILL do that for you, because that is what u need to be able to Trust in your man, to take care of you, the family, in a *positive* way. also, i have a theory: if u are w/ someone 1 1/2 years, u should know if that person IS "the one" you want to marry. u don't have to get married at that time (due to monetary, other problems etc), but u have to KNOW that he is THE ONE u are working on for a specific future of MARRIAGE. so, if it's been 3 years and he's still unsure, you gotta find someone who Can't Wait to marry you. someone u don't have to Force. someone who is willing and able to do Right For you and By you.
good luck, and keep up your strength in yourself..the stronger, confident, happy, positive, healthy WOMAN you are, the more that you deserve, and the better man that you can find.
2006-09-13 12:57:15 · answer #6 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is an action. It's a verb. He promises but doesn't deliver. You have lots of life ahead of you and there are plenty of people out there that want the same things you do so go and find it.
2006-09-13 12:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by VNCGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Screw the ex-kids, ex-wife, ex-family, and every other ex you can think of...move upward and onward from that group of people. They are causing friction between you guys. You'll be better off without them.
2006-09-13 12:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by Zelda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, is he financially stable? If not maybe that is what's preventing him from marrying you, but then if you have any other reason besides that, and you feel you can't trust him much longer, then its better for you to move on.
2006-09-13 12:54:22 · answer #9 · answered by 99CLOUD99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't leave(just yet)... sounds like he has alot of pressure.. Don't let him change the conversation, make him talk! let him know you can't wait 4 ever!
2006-09-13 12:52:42 · answer #10 · answered by :Dazed and Confused: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋