When I was sixteen years old, I met my husband and we became teen parents at the age of seventeen. I am now 26 years old with two kids and I just found out he has been seeing three other woman. I am dying inside because I just lost my dream. Any tips on what I can do to feel better and come to terms faster?
2006-09-13 05:40:30 · 17 answers · asked by geewhizbaby2008 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Friends and more friends would be the only thing I could think of. Your question kindof scares me...I also have been with my husband since I was 12...moved in together when I was sixteen...and I am now 23 and he is 26. I think about if something like that would happen to me since he is the only person I had ever been with and I know it is hard. It is going to take time...but I think the best thing to do is spend as much time as you can with your kids, friends and family. Surround yourself with people all day, sleep with your kids at night so you wont fell lonely( and I find it easier to sleep when you have someone by you anyways). That's the only thing I think I would do...cause when you are lonely you tend to dwell on it....
2006-09-13 05:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by kikosgirl83 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you. I'm 24 and I just got married recently, and I already feel stressed out about not being able to see my friends as much as I used to and to do other things etc. You've given so much since you were 17, and I find you very brave and strong. I really do admire you. I think you should let him know what you've found out about him (control your emotion), and discuss with him what you both can do. He will definately have to bear the child support, and spousal support, so find yourself a good lawyer now. You may feel bitter towards him, but I hope you will find the strength not to. It's always better to end a r'ship in a better way, where you can still be friends and you won't drag your feet when you take the kids to visit him. Tell yourself, you're an independant woman, and you will be strong. Find activities to do, join groups and keep your mind busy and occupied. There will be other men out there whom you will meet and fall in love again. I wish you the best of luck, and God bless
2006-09-13 13:11:52 · answer #2 · answered by Hanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are going through this, but there is no quick fix, no cure for a broken heart. I wish there was because everyone has felt this before and it takes time to heal a broken heart. I know it is hard but you've got to just let him go. I know easier said than done. Get out an have some fun with your friends, take the kids and go do something, get a baysitter and go dancing! Just don't sit around the house and mope! I know thats probally what you want to do but try not to! I promise this isn't the end of the world. There are so many other men out there who will love you and be faithful to you! You deserve a man to be faithful! No woman deserves to be cheated on! Pray for God to comfort you help you ease the pain! When the time is right he will put someone in your life! For now, just love yourself, be good to you! Get your hair done, nails, just pamper your self! It'll get better! I will keep you in my prayers and good luck!
2006-09-13 12:51:36 · answer #3 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband need to sit down and have a long discussion about what your marriage means to both of you at this point.
Here are a few things to consider:
Do you expect your marriage to return to monogamy? If you both don't agree on this, either way, then this is a deal breaker.
Does he want to be forgiven, and has he stopped cheating? Can you forgive him? If he wants to continue his extramarital affairs, then his request for forgiveness is false. However, if he has stopped cheating and has asked your forgiveness, can you forgive him? There is no point in his being "good," if you don't ever intend on letting go of the anger and hurt you feel over his previous transgressions.
On the other hand, is monogamy absolutely essential? If you both agree that yours is the primary relationship, first and foremost, above all others, could you accept him having sexual relationships with other? You would also be free to explore any desires or needs that he has failed to satiate.
The third choice is do nothing. Just as is common in Europe, you know your husband is cheating, but you completely ignore it as long as he is discreet, careful, and does nothing that could injure your reputation or health.
2006-09-13 13:06:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have some good girlfriends to hang out with? You're still young so I'd say get a sitter for the night, get your friends together and go out to a club and get a little tipsy and flirt with a lot of guys!!! Forget about him for a night and have a ton of fun. And just get a way from him for a while so that you can think clearly and decide what you need to do to start over and get a new dream. There are great guys out there who don't cheat.
2006-09-13 12:50:36 · answer #5 · answered by hideemosquito 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear
1st i want to say that may God be with you... i know the feelings when you found out that ur partner is cheating on you..
then, what i can tell you is that you need to live your coming days day by day, forgetting the day even 1 day b4, i mean you live the moment, meeting another PPL will help you more than you can think, give more and more love to your kids will help too.
My best wishes for you
â¥
2006-09-13 12:47:27 · answer #6 · answered by Clark794 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We as women tend to cater to our men. You think everything is fine and then something like this slaps you in the face. It hurts like hell but you have to be strong and focus on you and your babies. The best advice I always give is treat yourself to the spa. Having someone pamper to you feels soooo good. No kids and no spouse, your worry free for a couple of hours. Now is the time to go for self. Find out who you really are. Good Luck
2006-09-13 12:53:22 · answer #7 · answered by elementsoflife06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to hurt its human and it is part of the grieving process that you must go through in order to feel better! put it in GODS hands, He will never put you through any trials that He Himself will not carry you through! He is listening and will not give you more than you can bear. God has ways of working all things out, also pray that he speaks to his heart (your husband) in a way that opens his eyes to the wonderful family he has abandoned and also directs him back home to you as a changed husband, father and leader of the family who has continued to love and support him. Your kids need you more than ever right now so you can't fall apart. You need to be strong for them.
2006-09-13 13:04:37 · answer #8 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best option is to leave. Make a plan and leave a note and have a happy life without him. Obviously you are his back up for when the other three aren't available. So sorry to hear that. what a jerk. You can do better.
2006-09-13 12:44:35 · answer #9 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds all too common for guys to do this crap to good women like you. All I can say is that I'm sorry and keep your head up. You have to move on no matter how hard it is and how it'll hurt. Once a cheater, always a cheater no matter how long your past is together. So sorry baby!!
2006-09-13 12:42:48 · answer #10 · answered by heymrdj1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋