Would there be any second chances? Would you just walk away?Seek revenge? Would this change your outlook on trust and love?
2006-09-13 05:22:42 · 41 answers · asked by misscongeniality711 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think I would give him a second chance. I'm very protective when it comes to trusting people, so if you break that trust once, especially in a marriage, then it's over. I would make it clear before we even tie the knot that there are two things that I wouldn't put up with, and they are hitting me and cheating on me. Once he does that, it's over. I wouldn't bother seeking revenge because someone greater than me would handle that for me, so all I'd have to do is get rid of the jerk. And yes, it would affect my trust and love and make it hard for me to do either again.
2006-09-13 05:26:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had to go through this same thing. My husband was the first to mention counseling, and he's lucky I went with him because I was ready to leave him definitely. Counseling gave us both a lot of answers and different perspectives and points of view, opened our minds to "gray areas" when everything seemed black and white. I would recommend that first, and then a lot of questions would get answered from that. Trust isn't yet the same, and I'm not a cheater myself, so revenge wasn't an option. That just makes you a lower person when there are other options. Now we have a wonderful marriage and have been together 6 years. I'm very glad I didn't leave, as I have a better husband through it all. I don't know that a person can just quit cheating if they haven't figured out why they cheat. I know my husband is a lot happier man after counseling and working through his problems. It really had nothing to do with women or sex, it was all about revenge on past relationships, showing people up, etc. So once he worked through that, he didn't need the "ego boost" of affairs anymore. So I'd say counseling first to find out what can be done to help.
2006-09-13 05:35:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive been married for 18 yrs to the same man, and I love him with all my heart and soul. Hes a great man, but if I found out he was cheating, Id walk away.....as soon as my bags were packed.
I wouldnt seek revenge, and no, it wouldnt change my outlook on trust or love. NO SECOND CHANCES...hell no!
2006-09-13 05:26:57 · answer #3 · answered by ~~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. I say now that i would just walk away. But it's hard to JUST walk away when you love them. I would not seek revenge unless he cheated on me with someone i knew. Him cheating on me would break my heart and the trust would be gone.
2006-09-13 05:27:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Confront them with the evidence if you are absolutely sure
2) Ask why - get reasons whether they are bogus or not - be aware that you may have contributed to the problems which led to the infidelity. Note (genereally), men have a bigger problem with physical infidelity even if it was only one time. Women have a bigger problem with a husband being emotionally intimate with someone else.
3) Ask you spouse and yourself if your marriage can be saved or even if you want to save it - if yes see#4 if no, see#5
4) Seek couseling
5) Call a lawyer
I've been there done that....it took me awhile and meeting an extraordinary woman to learn how to trust again
2006-09-13 06:13:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,no,no, no second chances.Infidelity says too much about his negative character.You deserve better .Divorce him ,"take him to the cleaners".Do not cheat on him since that will place you in his own low level. Besides ,why would anyone give a cheater a second time?living with that kind of insecurity and lack of trust can be extreamly unhealthy.
2006-09-13 06:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Alijoy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Betrayal of trust by a spouse will always have revenge in it's own way. Toward them or the next. A person's guarding themselves from pain, nobody wants to be hurt. And I personally, would blow up his house.
2006-09-13 05:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by Linz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would look at it as if she wasn't getting what she wanted at home and had to travel and I am sure she would leave on her own eventually. Especially after things got shut off at the home front. Matter of fact I would make it more readily available for her to go on her little cheating trips and make it to the point that she wanted to leave soon that way I wouldn't be the one kicking her out but that she would leave on her own terms. Either that or take her crap and throw it in the drive way of the guy she is cheating with and say here you can have her. Either way works fine
2006-09-13 05:29:10 · answer #8 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should talk to him. If he realises his mistake and repents for that, then you should give him a second chance. You should forgive him. But if he denies and argue with you, then better don't go any further. But you should first try your best to forgive him the first time. Its very easy to blame and illtreat one for a mistake that he has committed, and that is done by every common human being. But very few have the courage to forgive one's mistake. Only those who have a big heart can do that. So I would suggest you to talk to him, find out why he did such a thing to you. Maybe he isn't getting enough attention from you thats y he went to look for that elsewhere! Or it can also be purely for sexual reasons! Try to find out what is his real problem and make your best to find a common solution for you both.
Good luck and be happy
2006-09-13 05:41:40 · answer #9 · answered by Goldenheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No second chances, I would just divorce him because you could never trust them again. And being in a relationship where trust has been compromised sucks. Revenge? Most definitely. (insert evil smile here)
2006-09-13 05:25:42 · answer #10 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋