for the last year my wife has spent everything we had on drugs, I put her in rehab for the 3rd time, is it time for me to move on and find a new princess??
2006-09-13 05:16:13 · 17 answers · asked by bam 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had an ex of 4 years that did the same thing to me. My decision was made when I did my research online by going to chat rooms to talk with ex addicts/current addicts. The overwhelming concensus is that the average addict will have, on average, 3 bouts of addicition in their lifetime. She's there. Next I learned that they will fight the desire to get high every day of their life without fail and that anything can trigger them back (certain lighting, a person that reminds them of the times, a bar or club). Additionally, there is almost always infidelity, usually with high risk people (hepatitis, AIDS, etc) either due to a lack of judgement while high or in trade for debt of drugs or payment for drugs. Our friends lost patience with us due nearly two years of unpredicitable behavior from us (he's late, I'm upset b/c he didn't come home last night AGAIN, etc.) If PCP/Angel Dust is involved, it remains in the fatty tissues and can reemerge at any future date, regardless of # of years clean. Finally, the drug usage reduces intelligence. Talk to her. Get into theoretical questions (why do you believe tensions in the middle east have gone on for eons?) and really listen to the responses you get. I found that what he was once capable of talking about in depth with logical lines of reasoning (regardless of actual knowledge) was no longer to be.
It is your life, and only you can make this decision, but in my situation, I chose to leave. He and I are still close, and I still bail him out occasionally financially. New men in my life are understanding. But I still stand by my decision to leave. I will always love him, but my trust was destroyed too much to return. I also believe that I have the need to go on and find love that will not be subjected to repeated trust/financial/health concerns, and he deserves to be with someone who can love his future and not for the misgivings of the past.
I sincerely hope this helps you. You have been on a long and dark road, and you still have some of the journey to complete. Good luck to both of you.
2006-09-13 05:36:37 · answer #1 · answered by JJ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tough decison, How much do you love her? Have you ever heard of tough love? Well loving an addict is very hard! I know because both me and my husband are recovering addicts. I have 2 1/2 yrs clean and he has 7 yrs clean. From experience, you wife will not change until she wants to. Most addicts have to hit a bottom before they truly seek help. For me it was when everyone I loved had cut me off, I wasn't welcome in anyones house, I had lost all rights to my daughter, my home, my jobs, this didn't happen over night. I went to 6 rehabs over a 12 yr period. But I always went for someone else. I didn't get clean until I had finally had enough! I go to NA meetings atleast 3 times a week, i work a program and people can change, but you can't change them. If you still love her you can show some tough love and don't see her till she straightens up.But there's no telling on how long that will be. If you've just had enough, just let her go. It's a hard decision to make. I dated a guy for a while that was using when I wasn't I loved him alot but I knew he didn't want to change. It affected my life, put me at risk, so I knew it wasn't worth all that came with it. You have to decide if she's worth it. I wish you the best only you know what you should do!
2006-09-13 05:24:44 · answer #2 · answered by faith 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i could say that he has no longer been honest with the people he's in rehab with. and don't prefer to be caught in a lie. Does he placed on a hoop? Or did he ought to eliminate it in there? i could provide it a week after which attempt to talk together with his counselor and tell the counselor, which you're his spouse and could prefer to comprehend how he's doing. I additionally could locate out in the event that they furnish kin counseling. And ask in case you should be somewhat of it. reason, I inform you, this ought to contain all of you. stable luck
2016-11-07 06:04:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say MOVE ON! Why are you even attracted to someone that is so addicted on drugs- Personally, the 1st trip to rehab would have sent me out the door! I find people that are drug addicts to be quite a turn off, and I would NEVER spend my life with someone forever if they are in and out of rehab~! That is a huge turnoff~ There are plenty of normal, drug free women out there that i'm sure would love you and not spend all there money on drugs!
2006-09-13 05:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by BLoNdE22 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋
This is a tough one. I think this is something you have to think about. You are going to have to determine if you can trust her emotionally and financially again. Unfortunately she may have forever destroyed your trust by what she has done. Do you believe she will be successful this time? If you don't then I believe you need to move on. I would still be there for her as a friend though. Good Luck with this difficult situation.
2006-09-13 05:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well, u should stand by her.
Help her get through this dark part of her life.
Give her support. Do not give up.
Pray always. Pray together with your wife also. This helps, pass all your burdens to God.
God Bless!
Hope to hear good news from u!
2006-09-13 05:26:15 · answer #6 · answered by Mary 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well i am proud of you, that you wanted to help your wife out. But if she doesn't want to chance nothing is going to happened i hope the other princess you will find doesn't do the same good luck.
2006-09-13 05:19:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are the only person that can answer that. Have you sought help through an alanon program or other releated self help group? You will know the answer when it is time. Pray in the meantime. Seriously. I've been where you are. I'm sorry.
2006-09-13 05:24:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you need to let your wife fall and not help her until she ask for help . she needs to hit rock bottom be for she can real get the help that she needs just be there for her as a Friend and a husband. she will need you. would you E- mail me i have been in your wife shoe be for.
2006-09-13 11:50:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it depends on how much you love her..it's up to you. if everyone on yahoo says dump her.. you going to do that? It's easy for someone to say dump her cuz it's not their wife.
2006-09-13 05:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋