He cheated and was married a couple of times before me so I know I am better off...but it still hurts. I thought we had something REAL! I don't want to date another person..not really into transferring the pain. I need serious answers for the serious pain that I am. You plan for a life with someone then all at once, your life, your plans and what was perceived as a future is over.
2006-09-13 05:06:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know how you feel honey, becouse the love of my life left me and now i wake up every morning feeling all the emptiness of my life..
But hey, you have to carry on...try not to stay alone, see your friends and talk to them as much as you can, have tea together..
and above all..try to write...poems, short stories, or just your thoughts...it will help you..a big hug..
2006-09-13 05:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by xxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's true that only time will heal the hurt.
I know, I've been there. You feel this pain in your gut and in your heart and you can't stop thinking about him.
You are grieving, it's normal. You want the pain to end now, but it won't as long as you stay focused on the loss.
Next comes anger and resentment at what caused the breakup. You will blame him, which, if he cheated on you, would be right.
Tell yourself that you did the right thing by leaving the relationship, because you did. Otherwise you would be marrying someone you couldn't trust. And without trust in a relationship, there isn't one.
Give yourself credit for being woman enough to not allow someone to treat you this way. Kudo's to you for having the ovum to stand up for yourself and not allow someone to do these things to you. You made a choice for yourself and your life, now stand by those choices.
What you percieve as a loss now will turn out to be the best thing you ever did for yourself. And when the right man comes along you will be smiling that you didn't make the mistake of marrying a cheater.
What you did was step out of a bad situation with the wrong person.
Now give yourself some time to breathe and take in the lesson of self awareness and self love and self respect. Which you did for yourself the moment you ended the engagement to a man that has proven he couldn't be trusted with your love, respect, and devotion.
Let the pain heal, and the memories of them fade, and when the right man comes along, he will never let you down.
This one did.
If other people try to discuss him or his actions with you, just tell them that your not interested and that you could care less what he is doing or is saying or anything else. Save yourself that grief and anger. Make everyone understand that it's over and that you don't want to hear gossip, or stories, or tattles about him in any way.
Don't take his calls. Not hearing his voice will get you there even faster and save you the pain of hearing his lies about how sorry he is. If he did it once, trust me, he will do it again.
Move on, and don't look back.
J
2006-09-13 12:23:42 · answer #2 · answered by frankly2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are very wise not to date right now. If you don't allow yourself time to heal then you go in the next relationship with the baggage of the previous one. I think most of us have experienced a break up, loss of some one you love! There is no quick fix, it just takes time. You have to try not to isolate, get out and do things. What do you like to do for fun? Start doing it! Hang out with your friends, family, just don't stop living your life! I know a broken heart hurts bad, but it will get better I promise. And all of this stuff is easier said than done, but you can do it! Know that when God closes one door he opens another! When the time is right he will put someone in your life. For now love your self, give yourself time to heal and pray for comfort and strength to get through this!
2006-09-13 12:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
invested love is a hard pain to get past, but you will and be stronger for it. he obviously isn't willing to invest respect in the relationship and he probably cheated in his prior marriages ... your expectations about him were unrealistic because they were "yours" not "ours" ... ok, you made the right choice to break it off .. now, the thing for you to do is follow the parts of your life plan that are not dependent on someone else and are things you really want to do ... in the course of striving toward those accomplishments, you will heal and you may just meet some right guy for you that has the same interests that you do ... be patient and dont jump for the first "white knight" that comes along ... you are vulnerable right now and need your space .. dont worry, there are plenty of good ones left ... you will be fine ... i'm available (smile)
2006-09-13 12:22:52 · answer #4 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're gonna hurt for awhile, but just try to keep busy, get interested in something else. The more you keep your mind busy, the better you'll be because you won't sit around being depressed. It's very hard to get up again once you're down, so try to keep positive and realize this is the last time he'll hurt you. You won't have to go through this again with him. It's sad you have to go through this.
2006-09-13 12:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that helps is time and constantly reminding yourself of the reasons that made you end it in the first place. If you continue to think about those things it makes it easier for you to accept it. You want better for your future and this is what you needed to do to head in that direction.
2006-09-13 12:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn what you like to do. Pour your self into charity work. Learn a new trade or hobby. Ignore men (in the dating sense).
Seriously.
By this you will force the male species to prove its worth to you. Do not seek out a man. Make him show you that he loves you. For awhile.
Until then, get to know yourself and treat yourself good.
You have no ties right now! Travel!
Have fun.
2006-09-13 12:10:01 · answer #7 · answered by joelgehringer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
search 4 some1 who deserves u
2006-09-13 12:09:58 · answer #8 · answered by G. C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's all about time. i'm sorry to hear that. couldn't imagine what you're going through.
2006-09-13 12:25:24 · answer #9 · answered by sexy azn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing to do is keep looking
2006-09-13 12:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by mil_millones_vivir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋