On our wedding day and on both our anniversaries he is real cranky and is depressed from a few days before during then a few days after. I feel as if he doesn't really want to be with me but he gets really mad when I say it. Is it just my imagination or does it sound like he doesn't?
2006-09-13 04:59:29 · 11 answers · asked by Debbie R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's any wonder he's cranky....how many anniversaries do you expect him to remember? So far, I see you have three? Too much. Give the guy a break. He is probably stressed because you put so much emphasis on these stupid anniversaries. It's just another day.
2006-09-13 05:22:35 · answer #1 · answered by Zelda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How does he respond to the way you celebrate? Do you bring him gifts, dinner, do something special? Maybe he's feeling guilty if he doesn't know what to do for you on those days. I also agree that if he didn't want to be with you, he'd act this way all the time. You might want to think about how he acts the rest of the time and see if you think there's a problem. If he's depressed from a few days before, at least he's remembering those special dates - unlike most men! Maybe you need to approach the subject different. Instead of saying how you feel and what your interpretation of the way he acts is, maybe you need to leave it more open, like you know something is bothering him and you'd like to help and be there for him, but that it's hard to understand when he won't talk about it. Counseling is a wonderful way to find those points of view that you don't expect or understand (it's not for crazy people, just for people who need additional information), although know most guys are too "macho" for that, but it's an option. Good luck.
2006-09-13 05:25:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that your husband feels pressure to give you an expensive or special gift - or to do something special - on your anniversary. If he's not good at planning stuff or picking gifts, or if he doesn't have the money this could make him grumpy.
Honestly, a lot of us (guys) dread anniversaries because we just aren't good at them and we feel that whatever gesture/effort we make won't be that great!
Wedding days are also very very stressful for some guys.
If you husband doesn't want to be married to you, I would guess that he would behave that way all year round - not just on anniversaries.
Good Luck.
2006-09-13 05:08:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get depressed and quiet every year around my birthday and New Years. I don't blame my husband for it. I know it's because I am taking stock of my life and what I have and have not accomplished. Most times I am hard on myself. So, if he hasn't said anything to you, maybe he is just taking stock and being hard on himself? If it's only for a few days, perhaps there isn't a problem. However, these are special occasions for you and he should be sensitive to that.
2006-09-13 05:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by VNCGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the sounds of it, neither one of you are that big on the concept of marriage anyway. Did it ever occur to you to ask him what is wrong? As an outsider looking in, it appears that you are overly insecure and he's one of those take it or leave it kind of guys that doesn't do much of the reassuring thing. If you would have taken your time in getting to really know him, you would have seen this prior to marriage. Good luck on number 4 honey!
2006-09-13 05:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will bet anything that after each of your former divorces neither of you sought therapist's help to resolve old issues, hence the current problems in the third marriage. It isn't too late, let him know it is important to you that this marriage work. Emphasize that you both have old issues to talk out with the professional help to help you along, that way he doesn't feel defensive. A marriage is like a muscle, if you don't work (at) it, it will atrophy (die/ become useless). Keep that in mind, I do.
2006-09-13 05:06:28 · answer #6 · answered by TABBY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is just that time of the year, but the rest of the time he is your loving husband, maybe you are reading more into it.
2006-09-13 05:09:31 · answer #7 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 3 failed marriages, you are "both probably" (and I use that term loosley), are made for each other!
2006-09-13 05:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by Tom n Tam C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is controlled by fear. Maybe he fears another failed marriage.
2006-09-13 05:05:39 · answer #9 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys are a bunch of cheaters
2006-09-13 05:03:48 · answer #10 · answered by DeeVA 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋