I gave birth to a baby and the father is not involved because I don't want him to be because he was emotionally abusive and when he found out that I was pregnant, he became violent and his whole personaility changed. We was together for 3 yrs before i conceieved and I thought i knew him. Now I am feeling like i want him involved only because it is his first born and he won't know our baby as a baby. what should i do?
2006-09-13 04:59:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well when he put me out i was 2 weeks pregnant and he did it because our relationship was not going well. from that point on, I left him alone solely. No phone calls no nothing. He started stalking me at my jobs watching me through windows and calling my job. He started acting really weird. He tries to get information from my friends about the baby but i cut them all off because i am scared he might try to take the baby from me. he also has a major problem with me because i am with a woman now raising my child.
2006-09-13 05:13:47 · update #1
it wouldnt matter if he is the father of your baby..since he is not a person you can trust and he has weird and abusive behaviour he is not fit to be a father anyway..your childs safety is more important then anything i would say find a way to keep him away from you and your child..dont feel bad cuz he is the father and he has to be involved with your baby..i am sure your kid will appreciate whatyou did one day when he or she finds out you did all to protect him. and i am sure it will be better for your kid to grow up in a loving safe enviroment rather than having a father who is abusive and bad. do the right thing..think of your child rather than your own needs..go to court and take action even if it means you move away.
2006-09-13 06:10:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy has a history of being abusive then run and don't look back. I understand you think you might be doing what's right for your child but not if the situation could become violent..
What if something were to happen to you or even worse your child? I would seriously think twice before I let this guy near my baby. This whole pregnancy thing supposedly changed his whole personality so why would he be any different now?
2006-09-13 05:06:11 · answer #2 · answered by Bridezilla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was violent then you are putting yourself and the baby at risk. If anything, allow the father to see your baby with your parents/friends nearby. Whether they are in the same room or the same house, keep yourself and the baby protected at ALL times. Then give him one chance!! Tell him if there is ever a sign of aggression, he will never see you or the baby again.
You do not owe it to ANYONE to compromise your safety and security, and that of your child.
If the daddy can't behave like an adult, then he can't be a father. I know you don't want two kids right now.
2006-09-13 05:06:55 · answer #3 · answered by joelgehringer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that you are doing the best thing for the baby unless he has changed a great deal since then. People do change but it is very rare. This matter may need to be discussed further with a close family memeber. I would never put my child in harm's way because you don't want him to miss out.
2006-09-13 05:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by heaven o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a personal stand point I would say stop think about what you went through and what he made you feel like.....and then ask yourself...what will keep him from doing the same thing to the child. To most guys like this, he isn't looking at the baby as his..he looks at the baby as yours...therefore normally they will treat the baby exactly like they treated you. Trust me i went through it for two years..now my husband wants to adopt her and he cant because her father ont sign the papers..he uses her as an excuse to get probation instead of jail..even though he has no clue where she is and has never cared for her at all.
2006-09-13 05:05:55 · answer #5 · answered by Becky_texas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you two young parents?he might have treated you like that becuase he had a hard time dealing with the fact that he had to grow up.or maybe hes just an ***. look dont deny your child a father just becuase he treated you wrong however if you feel like he is not fit to be around your child(would he hurt the baby?)then try supervised visits.make the best effort if he messes up then hes done.children need theyre parents.try to talk to him and get along.
2006-09-13 05:05:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, file for child support. This baby has the right to be taken care of properly and to have an education when he gets older. Also, the father has a right to visit the child if he wants to. If he doesn't want to, you can't force it.
2006-09-13 05:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
every child has a right to know their father. dont deny your child that right. he or she will only hate yu for that. unless if he becomes abusive to the child as well then yu have to keep away. dont get involved with the father he was abusive to you and he will never stop that. just allow him to know his child and the child to know the father
2006-09-13 05:14:42 · answer #8 · answered by hieandbye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the courts involved. You have to make sure your baby is safe at all times. They can work something out legally for you.
2006-09-13 05:01:51 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to give your child the gift of a lousy father?
2006-09-13 05:13:57 · answer #10 · answered by noname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋