We have been been married for a month. There was a number he came across from one of ex-girlfriends and when I asked whether he wanted to keep the number he was in doubt whether to keep the number. So I immediatly got very angry and he told me that he thought of her a distant friend that once in a blue moon she calls him to see how he is doing, but that he has no interest in her whatsoever. I programmed it in his phone. However he was begging for a kiss and trying to makeup and erased the number and told me that he loved me.He even broke his old phone and told me to throw it away. Should I worry?
2006-09-13 04:52:58 · 39 answers · asked by cookielove1430 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't worry. You've been married for a month. These things take time. You have a WHOLE LIFE ahead of you and there are still things that will come up this way as you both continue to learn what it is to be married.
I would be more concerned that you continued on to the point that he considered breaking the phone as a good option to prove his love.
My wife had pictures of her ex-boyfriends for the first two years of our marriage BECAUSE she had made a fancy scrapbook a year or two before we had met. She had lost touch with all of them for the most part, but the scrapbook was carefully made and a lot of time went into it.
This is all to say, give it time. The more you accept him and the truth he gives you, the more you actually foster an environment for him to love you and forget the rest.
2006-09-13 05:01:08 · answer #1 · answered by joelgehringer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the fact that he let you help program the phone and didn't try to hide the fact that she may call once and while should tell you something.. Stop worrying..at least at this stage.
Just because they aren't together anymore doesn't mean they can't talk every now and then, especially if their split was amicable. I have stayed friends with some of my ex's, as has my b/f.. But, if they start talking more often than you think they should, it doesn't hurt to mention it. Just don't don't do it in an accusing manner. It's when they start hiding things and being defensive that you have to start worrying.
2006-09-13 05:07:06 · answer #2 · answered by Termite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you shouldn't have been worried, he wasn't hiding anything from you which means that he wasn't doing anything wrong.. If you didn't want him to have the # you should have just said so in the first place and not made such an *** of yourself. Now that you have reacted in that way he won't tell you next time. And if she ever does call him to say hi... YOU will certainly never know cause he's sure not going to tell you and risk having you blow up at him again.. you were on the right track by giving him the option to keep the # or delete it.. you may have messed up your whole marriage by reacting that way.. I hope not, but this kind of behavior is what usually turns husbands and wives against each other and makes them start keeping secrets which leads to trust issues which lead to other problem which lead to etc. etc.. get the picture on eventually lead to divorce... Good Luck to you
2006-09-13 05:11:55 · answer #3 · answered by ami mena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I would say he has proved his point very clearly that he wants nothing with the girl. I have an I ex that I call to check on to make sur he is okay every blue moon. Just cause I dont care for him in relationship way doesnt mean I dont care about his well being as a person! I wouldnt want to see him hurt. You over reacted! I understand how we women get but we do need to be more trusting!
2006-09-13 04:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by superbad~honeydip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, my husband has a few girls he still talks to and yes the natural reaction is anger which I still do after being married a year almost but I don't think you have anything to worry about since he erased the number and broke his phone.
2006-09-13 04:56:12 · answer #5 · answered by Cait 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we set ourselves up by expecting guys to say the right answer. What is the right answer? What we think should be said. Then when they dont we get hot!!
Maybe you caught him off guard. But once he realized that he offended you it seems like he did whatever it was you wanted him to do even if it should of been the obvious thing to do. Dont worry about it. Just remind him of the healthy boundaries you two have now are different cuz your married. Your newlyweds. Hang in there.
2006-09-13 05:09:37 · answer #6 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though he really loves you. I have been married for six years to a wonderful man but we both still email a past love because during that relationship we became good friends. It doesn't mean he is still in love with her. They could very well just be friends. See how things go. Sometimes it DOES mean something else is going on, but just know that it is common for ex's to stay in touch in a friendship way.
2006-09-13 04:57:34 · answer #7 · answered by Tracy O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No
For two reasons, he was open and honest with you about who she was. Lots of people keep occasional contact with their exes and its not necessarily a big deal.
Secondly, if your husband is going to cheat on you with someone, he will do it regardless of whether you deleted someones phone number..
Concentrate on having a loving fun relationship with your partner and he will not even want to cheat.
He clearly loves you and thinks the world of you. You and your partner do not need to waste precious time arguing and feeling insecure about something as unimportant and non threatening as this. At least your little bit of jealousy shows theres still passion between the two of you.
Good luck.
2006-09-13 04:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by Bebe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for only three months, and it is something that I guess I wouldn't worry about. It seems to me that he tried to show you that you are his one and only by doing the things he did! So don't take it to heart! Sometimes ex's hold a special place in your heart, but that doesn't mean that he still wants to be with her! He married you right!! Good luck and god bless!
2006-09-13 04:59:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why worry? It is not as if he tried to lie and explain it away and when he saw how upset you were he got rid of it. He was showing you that you are important and that you matter to him. I have remained friends with some of my exes and have no romantic ideas toward them. Don't stir up problems where there are none. It seems like you married someone who cares about your feeling, appreciate that.
2006-09-13 04:56:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋