when you have been hurt by the one you love, how do you get over it and learn to forget about it? when your insides feel all messed up and its all you can think about. how can you get back to normal?
it niggles away at me al the time and i cant drop it.
2006-09-13 04:04:11 · 22 answers · asked by english_latina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i would like to know to because i am going through the same thing please can any help
2006-09-13 04:12:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time is the best cure but also try to get involved in new things.
The only way to put the past behind your back is to break with it all together. This is the right time to treat yourself and do whatever you wanted to.
Make some changes to your daily routine , if you can go travelling or get a new hobby and make new friends.
Everything can help to keep you mind busy. It's a bit difficult at the beginning but if you stick with it you will eventually succeed.
Life has so much to offer and you deserve to live it to the max.
2006-09-13 14:44:21 · answer #2 · answered by sid_blue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This depends on whether you're still together or not. If you're trying to make things work then you need counselling together; if you're apart then it takes time. It's best if you try to focus on other things to ditract yourself from the pain. You're suffering from a great loss and don't know where to turn at the moment, it's a process which you have to face up to but don't beat yourself up too much. Try and get some friends and interests going, it'll be hard at first as your thoughts will keep going back to the whys and wherefores of what happened to break you up. When you realise you are on that track find some other pleasant memories or tasks to do to draw you away from fretting. In time you will heal and move on most ppl do.
2006-09-13 11:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be hurt in such a way is something that I have never gotten over sadly. It takes a part of you forever. If you are still with the person who hurt you, and you still feel the hurt badly, then it may be time to move on or get coucilling? If you are not with the person, maybe some councilling might not be a bad idea if you are still in so much pain.
Try writing about it, express yourself in a different way. I find that that helps. Talk to friends or family or if you are religious, then speak to your priest or whomever you can trust.
MOST of all, be strong. It may not go away, but it does get easier to deal with. I promise.
2006-09-13 15:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time heals all. You have to make an effort to stick to your daily routine; see your friends and family often, they can offer you much needed help and support; be positive about yourself, don't let things drag you down. Think about what happened, analyze it in a constructive manner - there are lessons to be learned in everything, especially in our faliures and mistakes. Above all, keep your mind and body busy - take up a new hobby, read a good book, join the gym, re-connect with friends you haven't seen in a while, try to have fun at all costs. These kinds of things happen to everyone; it feels terrible at first - but as each day passes, the pain gets just a little more bearable - until it is gone altogether. You will get through it, don't give up. Make an effort to get through it, and you will.
It helps me to keep a journal where I can vent; you might want to try it if you feel it can be helpful.
2006-09-13 11:12:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's all about timing. Eventually your hurt and pain will go away but you can help it go away sooner by not allowing your thoughts to act on the memory, as soon as you are reminded of the incident put your foot down to the negitive, tell yourself you will no longer give this your attention or your energy immediatly start a project or read your favorite magazine or book do something else to get your mind off those thoughts as soon as they enter... Look to the positive things your love ones is doing now, the nice gestures, the sweetnes of their words, their tender touch soon the darkness of the incident will lift. Each person heals in their own time in their own way and to hold on to the hurt in returns makes you feel as though you will never hurt like this again but just the opposite happens holding on only allows the hurt to remain leaving no room to heal...
2006-09-13 11:18:53 · answer #6 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've experienced this three times now. My husband of 22 years had an affair, my next relationship of four and a half years went the same way, and my third one I actually got engaged to and then discovered he was having an affair.
Give up. I did. I got a Labrador instead.
With a Labrador puppy bounding about the house and demanding all your attention, you won't have time to think about anything else.
Good luck!
2006-09-13 11:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by Ladyfromdrum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say time is a great healer .. If you've dumped the guy who cheated on you then at least you can eventually start from scratch ... It's worse if you're still with him because every day lays you open to new suspicions.
Eventually you'll feel OK but until then I'm afraid you're going to feel insecure. Talking about it will help ... and having a revenge fling might do wonders too if you're feeling foolhardy!
2006-09-13 11:24:53 · answer #8 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should try to forget it. Use this as a learning experience so you don't make the same mistakes again. And normal is relative, it's a state of mind. Go to Starbucks and give yourself a treat. Get your nails done and go rent a movie tonight. The point is to just keep moving. that's how you move on.
2006-09-13 11:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by vitamin D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my sister's going through just the same.
Remember the more you think about it, the worst you'll feel. Life goes on, it always does, whatever happens. So, try to see the full half ot the bottle, keep your mind busy and give it some time. It'll be ok if you want it to be ok.
Life is what you make of it after all.
You make it. Nobody else.
2006-09-13 11:11:40 · answer #10 · answered by astroboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey ive been where you are and no matter how much you love your partner and with all the will in the world it never gets back to the way it was not even close although you or your partner may try to pretend it is, in my experience it will eat away at you and youll find yourself always questioning and doubting whatever your partner says or does and this definately damages the foundation for any future relationships hope you find the wright solution for you
2006-09-16 03:13:31 · answer #11 · answered by evidrats 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋