There is no "legal separation" in my state. You are either married, divorced or widowed.
He won't file for divorce.
I don't want to get married again so I am in no hurry to do anything "legal."
The lawyer said that it is cheaper if he files and I answer. I told my husband that he could go ahead and file, the kids and I will be fine.
He is effectively paying support now. He pays tuition for the kids, the mortgage for where I am living and the utility bills, so support payments is not the issue.
Thanks.
2006-09-13 03:56:29 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To respect him paying the mortgage I would not bring my dates home but I would definitely start moving on.
2006-09-13 04:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by mizsinister 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel you truly desire to date? I may be reading to much into your statement/question. First of all I`m truly sorry that you and the children are being subjected to the separation/divorce. Theres no easy path in and through it. Been there, done that , have the t-shirt to prove it so to speak. Does your state have the one year continuous separated agreement divorce? If so you can wait one year and file the divorce, go to the library and obtain the needed filing forms and pay the 30 or 50 dollar fee to file and go into court a year later and have the divorce. Just dont slip up and let him come home for any period of time and cohabitate, then you must start all over with the time. Perhaps the Lord will bless you all and maybe your husband will be convicted of what he is doing in his spirit and desire to make amends. Christian Counseling can do wonders. I hope it all works out and happiness over takes you and your family.
Jim
P/S. The dating you ask about could be noose around your neck if you had men around the children or in the home etc, use extreme caution. Dinner dates etc, probably okay, but be very visual and orderly so noone can say anything different. Sexually, that is going to be a tough issue. we all have those needs, but please,,, be extremely cautious. You dont want to lose the children and everything. Just because you are passive with his wrong doings dont take for granted he will be the same way. That snake has a badddddd bite when it comes back at you.
2006-09-13 04:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm.. it might seem the obvious answer is .. why not go out and date other people if he is ? .. However, I would check with your state laws .. or your lawyer first before proceeding. It could be that if you are caught being involved with another man , that your husband will then be off the hook for helping support you and your kids in any way. Just a sign on the cautious side. It doesn't hurt to check it out first legally. Otherwise, I'd say , .. why not ? Good Luck :)
2006-09-13 04:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to follow your heart and your morals ,but I as a person would not until i am divorced ,sounds like he wants to hold on to you and play around .I would do the divorce myself ,there are programs to help you pay for it ,and will help you for sure if he is seeing someone else .he dont want to let go of you so he can come back ,thats his only reason he wont file ,so my dear I would file it on him he will still have to pay just like now .dont give him the chance to say you did it to .divorce first .good luck to you and kids
2006-09-13 04:04:04 · answer #4 · answered by Holly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date around if you want to. Trust me, if he has been dating around then eventually he will find someone and want to file.. he may just be waiting on you to do it, but since you seem to be in no hurry just don't worry about it and if you want to go out on a date with a friend or whatever be sure to enjoy yourself :-)
2006-09-13 04:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by Su Z Cue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything that can prevent you from dating. I personally would certainly want to have the divorce proceedings underway, whether it's him or myself who files, simply because I wouldn't want anything like this hanging over my head. But as far as dating is concerned, I find it one of the best ways to get my mind off of things.
2006-09-13 04:00:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still married. It's called cheating. He could use it against you in court. Right now you can use it against him. You need to do something legal if you do meet someone down the road. But don't give your guy any ammunition. Right now the court would side with you. Keep it that way.
2006-09-13 04:04:29 · answer #7 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should get out into the dating world, and enjoy others company. Sounds like financially things are fine for now, but if he is out and about, why shouldn't you be.
2006-09-13 04:01:35 · answer #8 · answered by oddbutterfly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Date if you want, he is. If you are asking if your dating would provoke him into filing so you can answer, you know him better than we do.
2006-09-13 04:01:52 · answer #9 · answered by bttrswt1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have started ages ago, get out there and enjoy yourself. You have every right to start dating when he is at it.
2006-09-13 04:00:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋