2006-09-13 03:50:36 · 8 answers · asked by shannonmon2002 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If my daughter is 16 and has a 3 month old and wants to leave home and she makes home for the rest of the famili miserable because she THINKS she is an adult do I let her go and let her learn her own lesson or do I stop her and let her continue to make every miserable. As a mother I want to do the right thing but I am also only 32 and dont know what the right thing in this situation is.
2006-09-13 03:57:49 · update #1
She does not have anywhere to go well maybe she does I do not know where she has to go and she will not tell me I live in texas and in texas having a child does not make you an adult so I am legally responsible for her.
2006-09-13 04:01:44 · update #2
Well if you're asking if it's a good idea, I don't think so. My sister was 17 when she convinced my parents to let her move in with my aunt in another city. She's 22 now and just had her third child in April. Though I wouldn't trade my nephews and niece for anything, I love them. She also dropped out of high school, but thank god is now getting her G.E.D. and wants to go to college. I can't help but think how much better her life would have turned out if she'd stayed at home longer and didn't get mixed up with all the bad people. when she moved in with my Aunt. But on top of all that she's finally turning her life around for herself, and her kids.
Edited to add: If your daughter wants to go out on her own, in a way the only way she's going to learn is if she does it. I know it's hard to hear this, but at this point your main concern should be your grandchild. I realize that you love your daughter and want the best for her, but there's only so much you can do for her short of locking her away and physically restraining her from leaving. If it comes down to it, you could probably get custody of your grandchild if your daughter insists on leaving home. But again as you stated, since she is only 16 she is your responsibility. Ask her if she has a place to go? Tell her that you only want the best for her and her child and that you love and respect the fact that she wants to make it on her own, but that there's nothing wrong with asking for help from people that CAN help, you know? I would just try very hard not to yell or get into an argument because that will probably make her runaway with her child. You have to weigh the odds, would you rather her and her child be in your home, where you know they are both safe and cared for, even if she is making life miserable? Or would you rather her runaway and have you and the rest of the family not knowing where she went with her child? Of course, this is assuming you can't work out your differences. You might even consider talking to a family therapist if you haven't already. You could even go on your own at first to get their opinion, and then try to convince the whole family to go. I hope everything works out for you! :)
2006-09-13 03:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is coming from a young girl in Texas who moved out of her parents house at a young age, so take my word.
You can get her back in your home until she is 17 - that is the legal age run away, after which she can do what she wants. I would suggest calling the local authoroties to bring her back home. There is a very long process a child has to go through to become emancipated in Texas, and you have to sign the papers too. So, yes, you can report her as a run away and bring her and her child home.
Before she turns 17, I would suggest talking to her about her choices. I know that no child is perfect, neither are their parents. Remind her of all that she has living with you - a bed, food, shelter. Even if the two of you fight, it is probably still better than living in a shelter, with a friend or a boyfriend. What will she do when this temporary support system runs out. Remind her that she is still a child, and that if she wants to accept the responsibilities of being an adult, moving out on her own and without parental support, she is going to have to do it fully. She will need to get at least one job, if not two. Ask her if she expects to freeload off of others for the rest of her life.
When/if she is still mad and moves out after she is 17, or becomes emancipated before then, cut off all ties to her financially. No cell phone, no car, no money - nothing. See how she can live on her own. I know it may be difficult, but it's what she wants. To be honest, I doubt she will have significant reason to become emancipated, and a judge will see that she has a child that she cannot adequitly care for if she does not have consistent support. As for her child, contact the local CPS to help you help your grandchild.
Most importantly, always let her know that you love her and only want the best for her. She is obviously going through a hard time right now. She is mad at you, but I can PROMISE it will be twice as hard in the "real world", especially with a child. If she wants to move out so badly, try to let her do it in a way that is less dramatic. Help her look for apartments near by and also for jobs. This will more than likely make her realize that living is harder and more expensive that what she thinks. This is also the best way to stay connected to her. Remember she is just a girl, a child, and still needs your care, even if she doesn't want it, or if it's consisered "Tough Love".
*Remember, if she becomes emancipated, the grandchild will no longer be your responsibility, because she has classified herself as an adult.
Best Wishes, and if needed, my yahoo screen name is Love_me_emilie
2006-09-13 15:04:28 · answer #2 · answered by oh really 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most states you are legally responsible for your child as long as she is a minor. You will have to check the laws in your state regarding the age a child may leave home. If she is not of age to yet leave home, you may have to report her as a runaway and have her returned home. If she is close enough to the age to move out and is responsible, it would be best to let her go and be as supportive as you can be. You do not want a wedge between you, your daughter and your grandchild. Do what is best depending on the circumstances.
2006-09-13 11:03:57 · answer #3 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she already has a baby and is acting like she is an adult let her get out there and try, either she is going to fall on her face and come running back and then you tell her if she doesn't like your rules she can get out, already knowing she can't make it on her own yet she will probably be willing to listen and respect you more. OR, she will make it and become a better person for doing so. So really it might not be such a bad thing.
2006-09-13 11:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by brunette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Need more info from you. What exactly do you want to know? If the minor has a child and wanting to move out where to? With who? Do they work? How are they going to support the child???? Ask these type of questions to the minor. Don't be against them, be for them. Be supportive and honor the fact that they don't want to be in your space runningup your bills and makin it harder for you.
2006-09-13 10:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by menyauna s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where I live in GA your automatically consider legal when you have a kid. You don't need parental approval to get married or anything if a girl under 18 had a kid.
Contact the police dept or court house in your area, they should be able to help you.
2006-09-13 10:57:06 · answer #6 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact the court in ur area..
2006-09-13 10:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what?.....tell more...information....what do you mean.
2006-09-13 10:54:04 · answer #8 · answered by mil_millones_vivir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋