the problem is my boyfriend with his mom. his mom (respecting her) its weird. i can tell this because at the beggining of we both were datin, she was totally disagree; now she loves me. and she keeps (mostly all the time) talkin kinda bad things about him (things about he get mads all the time, bla bla bla) but he told me the reason WHY this happens its because his mom thinks he wants all the best... he really loves her but he feels dissapointed about her behavior. one more thing is that i sent her the pictures of us kissing (but not even mouth kiss) and she called him inmedialty and yelled him about it but when she spoke to me, she said she loved it and still sent me mail sayin she cant wait to meet such of great girl as me. i asked him if she's double face with me; he said no, that she's only like this with him. this really hurts him and i dont want him to be like this + i know his mom is awesome. but something must be with her to be actin like this.
How can i help him??
2006-09-13 03:41:40 · 21 answers · asked by *live,laugh,love* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just about every female has been through this. This is a test on your relationship. Are you a trustworthy and loyal girlfriend? The mom may or may not like relationship between you and your boyfriend. You may never know. Just like other gossips, if she is talking to you about her own son behind his back best believe that she is talking about you behind your back to to him. 1.Be careful and only talk to her when your boyfriend is present:not in negative talk about him. Change the subject or leave. She can use your apparent closeness to her to validate anything negative-lies that she tells her son about you or even worse- make your boyfriend think she likes you more than him (make him jealous-hurt) This is a top relationship killer! 2. Don't tell her anything about your relationship with your boyfriend. 3.You and your boyfriend need to stay in control of your relationship by keeping it positive and not let anyone gain control like in this situation. You two may or may not get married. Either way you don't want to remember your whole relationship being about his mother and her conspiracy to break up the relationship. Just as in any relationship, focus on creating good memories and creating a trusting bond that way-hopefully you can look back with no regrets. I hope this helps.
2006-09-13 04:21:59 · answer #1 · answered by prettybrowneyes. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Should tell him how you feel. If you're too shy, what i did last time is that i call her. Sometime i wrote letter and e mail. But i can say, talk to him in person sure have the edge and more advantage.
Love is a lasting forever thing. So take your time. and no rush. Boys look at 2 things, prettyness and good personality. You know what pretty is. Good personality is the way u act and speak and how u behave yourself, also how u conduct yourself. They often look for good qualities. This is quite a tough area to improve. In other words, if they like u, means they really like u. If not, then, don't be sad and give up like others do, maybe there's still a chance u can improve. All the best to u.
2006-09-13 11:23:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oddly enough my dear you are not alone! Many mothers are similar in nature as this one. Can I honestly tell you why, no, not without a one on one with each person. But I can tell you something that you may all ready suspect.
She knows her son is going to have relationships, she can not stop this from happening. She obviously loves her son, and in some cases this motherly care giving exceeds it`s boundaries and bleeds over into the realm of the child's daily life encounters, in some ways attempts to keep the child in check, or doubting it`s self reliance, causing or attempting to cause the child to need feel that they need the parent. At least this is at times what a parent who is a controller (beyond Normal) usually attempts. Thus a dual personality so to speak or a two faced appearance, choose which ever fits the best. She likes you, but possibly resents you at the same time. Another female with influence over her child, HMMMmmm . I know it sounds silly but this truly can be an issue with some mothers especially if they are moms who were single parents and have developed that extremely dependent almost code pendant relationship with their child. Books on Codependency or Imperative people might be of use here. Good luck and keep me posted. jereese_2000@yahoo.com
2006-09-13 10:58:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How many personalities does this woman have? She sounds like my sister-in-law it is just a matter of time before she does it to you..She has to win you over first. She need's some major help and he need's to stand up for himself and he is the only person who can do that. You can say all you want but becarefull it might push him away. He may not relize how she effect's him and until he is ready to deal with it there is not anything you can do about it.
sorry
2006-09-13 10:47:30 · answer #4 · answered by mysticalmoon1975 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how you feel!!!!! my mother in law loves me from head to toe when my husband is around, oh... but wait til he leaves the room or the house. it;s like he left the room and let satan in. i've been told that i will never be good enough, not a good mother to "her son's children" and that i'm just not the right girl, because i came from the other side of the tracks. well screw her, my husband knows that i will never accept his mother as part of my side of the family, he learned first hand how she was, when we got engaged and married(we eloped). he showed her our marriage license, she freaked out and started yelling "how could you bring her into this family" ranting and raving. so my husband is weary of what he tells his mother now. so they pretty much don''t know anything about our lives anymore. i like it that way and my husband is slowly seeing the "other side" of his family...sister, father, mother, extended family and all.
2006-09-13 11:06:14 · answer #5 · answered by MamiMe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First I really think that your boyfriend needs to have a heart to heart chat with his mom and let him know how she is hurting him. Open communication is always the best resolution, I would also let his mom know that you know she loves her son, but you would appreciate if she could keep the negative comments to herself.
2006-09-13 10:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by Connie G 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i went threw this with my husband mother, you have to rember that you are dating the son not the mother, as long as you are making him happy that all that counts.mant time in our lives we try to please other instead of our selves and we end up getting hurt our selves. just focus on your relationship and all will work out great. and if and when you talk to the mother and she wants to talk bad about her son tell her that you will call her later when she have something nice to say about her son. and tellthe guy to do the same to his mother, you both will see she will come around and start speaking nice about her son if she wants to be a part of his life:
2006-09-13 10:49:22 · answer #7 · answered by ms2tone 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't help him. This is his mother, he's been with her all of his life, and he's used to her weirdness. Treat her respectfully and nicely but don't treat her like one of your best friends. Example, don't send her any pictures, let him send any pictures he deems are necessary/appropriate for his mother. In conversations, don't try to defend him too much when she says nasty things about him, either she's trying to chase you away or she's jealous. Don't give her too many details of your relations with him. Remember your relationship is with him.
2006-09-13 11:05:49 · answer #8 · answered by Erica D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. If you plan on being with this guy for any amount of time. The longer you leave it, the worse it will be when you do say something.
2006-09-13 10:46:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Mother and son..a wonderful relationship! But it cant trample on the love between a man and his woman. Please talk to your friend and discuss the issue on hand, and get him to see the reason. Let him handle his mother.
2006-09-13 10:44:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋