He moved out. I later found out that he had met someone(s?) else. I saw a lawyer. The lawyer said that it is cheaper if he files and I answer. I told my husband that he could go ahead and file, the kids and I will be fine. He says that he does not want a divorce? What?
He is effectively paying support now. He pays tuition for the kids, the mortgage for where I am living and the utility bills, so support payments is not the issue.
Thanks.
2006-09-13 03:23:20 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's afraid of the financial consequences. He's placating you. He may also want to save face with family, if yours is a "Divorce is not an option" family. He has divorced you, in realtiy; that's the ironic part. It's not true that the court costs would be that inequitable if you are Petitioner or Respondent. It all gets sorted out. You'll have the filing fee ($125?), big deal. Save your dignity and self-respect and just get it done. You have most of the work done by way of your informal arrangement with him. You can present the same (or a more favorable one to you) to the court. He'll have a heck of a time arguing why he should now pay less. Since he moved out, you've got possession of the house. You could be forced to refi and buy him out, though. Check into that first, if it's a huge factor to you. With all due respect to the answer above, a Legal Separation is a waste of money. It has all the same processes and costs, but if you want a divorce in the future, you have to do it all AGAIN. Getting re-married is a much wiser plan "B."
2006-09-13 03:33:24 · answer #1 · answered by georgia b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like he has his cake an eating it to ! old fashion saying but hey it seems to work for men an some women but it has never worked for me ,maybe he is getting out cheaper by doing it this way ,because his attorney could have told him what he truly would owe if he went through with divorcing and then again he may be testing the waters and is unsure if he truly wants out of your marriage,but if this is the case then he needs to realize what he has done to you an your kids an it takes a long time to heal that wound once it is there,and he may just show back up one day an say I want to come back home but believe me the pain does not go away for you ,later on you will resent him playing this childish ,low life game! It makes me sick to think anyone feels they have a right to walk in an out of someone Else life !! I have been through the same thing an believe me the wounds don't heal even if you do forgive!! It is hard to make it right again ! Good luck!
2006-09-13 03:34:55 · answer #2 · answered by SANDY G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't file for divorce, and you move on with your life, then he can use it against you later when he does want a divorce. the best thing for you to do is to file for a legal seperation. That way you are covering all grounds for the future. If you find someone else and sooner or later you will, and he tells the judge, then he won't have to pay for a place for you to live and he could end up with custody of the kids. Make sure the lawyer that you talk to knows everything, so he can advise you accordingly.
2006-09-13 03:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband will not give you a divorce because it keeps him "safe" from commitment with his new love. He is probably telling her that you won't give him the divorce and she is more than likely wanting to get married. This way he can be with her without being "married" to her.
In other words he can have his cake and eat it too.
Good Luck to you, this could be a sticky situation because if you push him, he might not be so willing to pay for everything like he is right now. If you can tolerate it, for financial reasons it might be the best thing for you. If you can't put up with it, then you are going to have to get the divorce. You could sit him down and talk about it, and split the household items up fairly, and if he doesn't contest it, it would only cost you the filing fee because you can file out your own divorce papers. Just go on line to your state web site and find court papers.
Again honey good luck.
God Bless
2006-09-13 03:35:09 · answer #4 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe so. Just get everything notarize in Georgia about your kids and finances. That's easier than hiring a lawyer. Just go to those places that advertise divorces for like 199-300 bucks. That person can help you fill out the documents and what you need to go to the court house. In the meanwhile, she can call and confirm the information about your ex husband. You don't want to file for divorce and fill them out by yourself. Trust me, its easier. Now, she might end up talking to his lawyer but either way both of you agree to the divorce. After filing up the information then go to the courthouse and pay the filing fee and that's it. Depends on the state you might wait between a month-two months more. Its worth it.
2016-03-26 23:12:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is wanting his cake and icecream too.
He possibly doesn't want to file for divorce because he thinks that if and when his new fling ends,he will be able to come back to you as if nothing ever happened.
It's great that he pays out so much to help you and the kids out,but if he thinks there is a chance that you will let him come back at any time he wants then sure he'll do what he has to.
I would go ahead and file for divorce,show him that the marriage is over,that way he knows that you won't play the head games that he is playing.
2006-09-13 03:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by missy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He isn't filing for two reasons, maybe three
1. It's cheaper it you do, as far as his wallet is concerned
2. He may think when all this silliness with this lady is over, he can come back
3. He is telling her that you won't give him one, thereby making a real committment to her impossible.
If YOU really want out, file yourself. You can get the papers off of the web, fill them out, you and he agree about the division of your property, both sign and file at your county courthouse. In most states, you are single in 6 months. The cost is whatever the filing charge is about $15. If you don't have much to divide, not much hastle. IF you age agreed on child support amounts,etc., those are entered on the paper. There are some on line attorneys who will do it for you for $75. Google Divorce Papers+your state.
2006-09-13 03:31:18 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds lazy or just doesnt want everyone at his work, etc to find out he is getting a divorce. So instead of filing he pretends he is still married and living with you most likely.
What you can do is follow him around with a camera (secretly) and take pics of him with his new GF. (kissing pics and pics of the woman and him spending an entire night at his place, etc). Then give those pics to your lawyer and use that in your divorce. Tell him he either files for a divorce or you will call his work and tell everyone or you will tell his family (parents, siblings, etc.)
2006-09-13 07:13:22 · answer #8 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's stringing you along, because he feels the need to go play. When he's done with this fling he might want to come back to you thinking you'll take him back. Whatever the reason don't wait for him to file just go ahead and file for the divorce and get it over with. That way you'll have some peace of mind and be able to move on with your life
2006-09-13 03:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to keep you as a safety net. So when his ne life does not work eh can go back to hi "wife." He may just be hoping you file. I would not put up with it. Why should you. You are worth more than that. You go to the lawyer, file, to hell with cheapness. Make sure he keeps paying child support and the mortgage.
2006-09-13 03:27:04 · answer #10 · answered by passionparties_by_suzanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋