My son of eight goes to bed at 8, but won't stay in bed any idea's how i can get him to stay there?

Question

I don' smack him for this and won,t smack him for this, but it is driving me mad?

I hope u don't have children conrad

Answer 1

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Answer 2

A good wind-down routine is good. It is also good to set goals i.e. if in bed at 8, teeth cleaned, toileted etc, he can read for say half an hour and then lights out.

. Talk it through and ask why he thinks he keeps on getting up - does he want something, is there anything that is worrying him, scaring him (even some big kids don't like being in the dark) or does he just think that he is missing out. Explain that while you love him very much, the time after he goes to bed is your time and you need this to recharge your batteries - if you have a battery powered car you are laughing as you can show him how the car doesn't work properly when the battery is going flat and say if you don't get to recharge your battery you feel tired, grumpy etc. If after a few nights of enforcing bedtimes, there is still a problem, again discuss it and agree both rewards for positive behaviour and penalties for continued getting up - you can agree these between you.
best of luck!

Answer 3

MY kids start going to bed at 8o'clock so it isn't too early you know your son best. there are a few things that we do. Make certain that he has done all the bathroom duties so he can't use this as a reason to come out.
we leave a class of water(a small one covered in a non spill) in our kids room that cuts out the I'm thirsty. we allow our kids about 15 minutes of reading(looking at a book time so it makes for lights out t 8:15. this allows for some down time before sleeping. Once they come out the first time the are allowed a bathroom trip etc witha firm remind it will be the last time. MY kids have night lights etc. the second time they are sent directly back to bed with a warning they will loose the night light. third time out with the light.

also make sure there is no underlying fear, do to a recent change in your household, a death, a birth, someone has left on a trip etc. all these things can change a child's nighttime routine. good luck.

Answer 4

The key thing is to 'wind him down' so that he is ready for sleep. This worked with my own son: At 7.30pm, take him to bed and read him a story (Harry Potter, Wolf Brother, Artemis Fowl all very popular) with just a lamp on for twenty minutes so that him is calm and engaged with your voice. Then chat to him about his day for 5 or ten minutes - 'What was the best thing / worst thing that happened to you today?' are good starters and help him deal with any problems that occurred in his day. Then if he still needs claming down, massage his back for 5 mins and tell him about all the things to look forward to tomorrow after a good nights sleep. Half an hour at the start of the evening is well worth investing for the rest of the night to yourself. It may take a few nights for him to get on board with this routine and a key aspect is to maintain calm and quiet yourself. If after a few nights he is still not responding, tell him there will be no playstation / TV the next day if he doesn't go back to bed - and follow that promise through! My son now really looks forward to bedtime, and he is now 10. Good luck & I hope this helps.

Answer 5

Just my opinion but 8 PM is a little early. What time does he get up in the morning? My 8 year old goes to bed at 9 and gets up at 7 in the morning.

Answer 6

be consistent, tire him out during the day by taking him to the park with his football or something, pro-long his time possibly by 30 minutes ? tell him to stay in bed from then on and lights out at 8.45-9pm and if he gets out of bed for anything (other than the toilet) he gets gets put to bed 15 minutes earlier the next night ? or ground him if he doesn't listen and continues to refuse to stay in bed everytime he does it take away a privilege and every night he does sleep give him back one thing you took until he just naturally stays in bed and at the end of the week buy him a mag or something..although that may just encourage him to be a nuisance with other things until he gets a gift .. but you should do whatever you feel will be effective you know your son.. hope all goes well

Answer 7

You're right. DOn't smack him!!

Create a very rigid bedtime routine.

i.e. bath, snack, books or game, go to bed, lie with mommy for 2 minutes, mommy leaves, go to sleep.

When taking a bath tell your son, 'after this you will have a snack, we will read 1 chapter or play 1 game, your choice, and then I will lie in bed with you if you want but when I leave you stay in bed and that is it'.

Then, during snack, review the plan again.
and when you're on the last few paragraphs tell him it's almost bed time. Ask him what will happen next. Make him verbalize his staying in bed after you leave.
Then when you leave his bed stick to your story. Every time he leaaves the bed do not indulge him in conversation. take him by the hand silently, lead him back to bed tuck him in with no eye contact and leave the room.
The first night you may have to do this a dozen times but it will get easier.
Stick to the plan and it will work. You may have to perfectly stick to the routine for more than 2 weeks before you start being flexible again. Prepare yourself for in psychologically before you start. It will by trying and your son will try and test your limits. Keep your cool and don't converse with him except to say things like, 'it's bed time now' and take him by the hand gently, don't use force, that will make it harder for him to fall asleep once he's in bed.

The Dr. Ferber book deals with this throughout many ages. it's worth reading.

Answer 8

Well, I have two ideas. The first is that he has trouble going to sleep, just like adults do. My child has trouble going to sleep because as she lays in bed, she thinks of questions and things to do. If this may be the case, try to find things to relax him before bedtime and maybe something to help while in bed, such as listening to some quiet music. It's also possible that he's just not sleepy at that time. Try evaluating his sleeping schedule just to be sure. Finally, if he's just being disobedient, you need to find an appropriate punishment for you son and let him know in advance what it will be and follow through with it consistently.

Good luck to you!

Answer 9

hi. 1st u need to make it a calm enviroment. nobody can sleep with distraction like t.v,s or video consoles etc. read him a story or put some soothing music on just before bedtime. ur right not 2 smack him as this will only make matters worse & he,ll hate going to bed if u do. channel 4,s series supernanny is a good source of ideas 4 things like this. hope this helps

Answer 10

How long has this been going on? It could just be habit by now. When my little one comes int he room, I take her back to her bed, tuck her back in and tell her mommy loves her but she needs to sleep in her room. We offer a special prize at the end of the week if she can stay in her bed the entire week ~ Like Chuck E Cheez or some other fun place. It doesn't always work, but bribery does help!

Answer 11

I have a son of 5 and at bedtime(which is usually about 8.30) we read a book together and then I tell him lights out in 10 minutes, that way he can read/play in his bed for 10 minutes. I then go upstairs and turn his big light off (he has a nightlight which is kept on during the night)and if he messes around after that I warn him that I will turn his nightlight off if he carries on and that usually does the trick.