my wife has fallen for another man and she has stopped talking to him, but she sits around thinking about him all the time she even dreams about him every night. we have been going to a counselor and things are going well but i just don't know what to do? she says that she loves me but she lusts for him.
i just need some advice.
2006-09-13 02:16:56 · 13 answers · asked by brownie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THIS is the time when you need to more concentrate on your wife and try to make her happy.Take care her needs much better than earlier in best way you knows.
LOVE HER, DO NOT TOUCH HER. Let her feel your untouchness. I am sure you will get back her very soon .
2006-09-13 02:34:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lust and love are two different things. Love is made up of respect and trust...Lust is made up of desire and attraction. How do you know she dreams of him? If you believe therapy to be working to restore your relationship...No longer discuss him and never bring him up again in conversation with her or anyone else. Keeping his image from her mind will help it not to be in her sub-conscious (where dreams come from). Now, if you would like for her to lust for you... make yourself more desirable and attractive. Start eating healthier, work out, get rid of the facial hair and pot belly if you have them. Dress your best all the time. All those things that you promised her you would do...stop procrastinating and do them, NOW! Try to make her feel sexy. Bring her flowers when you can. While in bed at night...if her back is turned to you...gently run the back of your hand down her spine and whisper "I Miss You!" Romance her all day every day...not just at night when you're wanting sex from her...and if she isn't in the mood, don't treat her like she owes you because you've been so nice. When you make her feel lusted after...she'll climb you like a man tree and you wont have to work for it so hard...Make her feel like she is the sexiest woman alive and she'll see you in a whole new light...be careful not to make her feel trashy in public. If you love her...make some sacrifices and become the man she wants and needs. Figure out what drove her to him in the first place. Fix the problem. Best wishes to you.
2006-09-13 02:39:04 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, I don't quite understand it... In my life, I've lusted after many people, but it never got in the way of, or interfered with, my loving someone and being in a committed relationship. One just has to keep these feelings under control - perhaps counseling may help her with that.
2006-09-13 02:24:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your wife has fallen for someone else, then she is lackin something from you, maybe read some books to help your partner fall in love with you again, read some sex books as well to improve your in bed skills as well, when my bf found out I was lusting for another guy, he asked me what about this other guy that made me want him, and I told him that he was sexier, more conversational, and liked being around me, was not ashame of me, like he was, so once he asked and found out what I wanted him to do he cleaned his act up cleaned himself up, started talking more to me, started making more time for me, as well started taking me to sex shops, and well I dress more sexier for him and sex is great now in bed, and I have no reason to look for anyone now, communication is the key just ask her what is it that she likes about him that your lacking, and do something about it, but don't do it and then stop when you got her intrest keep doing it, maybe she lacks attention from you, or conversations, who knows but counselors what for, no reason for them, its all given to you, you just have to think really hard about what it is in life!
2006-09-13 02:25:46 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to bring the lust back into you marriage .. you are not the only one that has had this problem.. the best thing is to start dating her again and taking her to hotels and do crazy romantic thing to her. lust is a hard one to bet but it can be beaten..
2006-09-13 02:23:59 · answer #5 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key: You need to give her all love she need,and then she will forget to think about the other man.Try and you will see the difference.Give her all love as you can give.Love is the key in marriage matters. Good luck. She is going to be okay.Now it is up to you,she is in your hands.Make her feel really happy and give her: good support and comfort.
2006-09-13 02:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have not been giving her a satisfying sex life?
Find out from your wife what she wants out of your sex life together. Tell her that you wish to please her and will do whatever it takes to enable her to reach a multiple climax. Look into pleasing her in bed, not just yourself!
Give her no reason to look outside for her sexual needs!
2006-09-13 02:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously got that new refreshing feeling for your wife, he does things you just wouldnt do and it excites her. Try being more spontaneous and romantic and maybe those feelings will change.
2006-09-13 02:19:48 · answer #8 · answered by ♡MaNda♡ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant compete with a fantasy ... try doing something unusual like dressing in a tux and handing her a single rose and being extra romantic like a classic movie ... it may be campy, but she will appreciate the effort .. woo your wife
2006-09-13 02:20:41 · answer #9 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the counsler alone...and tell them all of that...maybe a different counsler all together...
2006-09-13 02:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋