My husband of 8 years always assumes I am a bad person. He is afraid to talk to me because he assumes that I am going say no or not accept what he has to say. He lies to me about stupid things because he assumes I am going to be mad. I am the easiest person to get along with. I have made him my priority, and I have made sure he has everything out of life he has ever wanted. I have never said no to him or given him any reason to assume I am such a bad person. I ask him about it and he says that I am a good person and he does not know why he does that. Why is this happening? Does it stem from a past relationship?
2006-09-13 02:00:19 · 13 answers · asked by lookingforanswers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do YOU think that HE thinks you're a bad person? You say you've talked about it, and that he says that he considers you to be a good person, so you should believe that.
I would think about why he doesn't want to talk to you. Are you doing something, even subconciously, that makes these conversations difficult for him? Sounds like in some small way you're invalidating what he has to say, so he doesn't want to say anything else. Consider tone, body language, all the little signals. You need to make him feel as though his opinion / comments / etc. are important to you.
2006-09-13 02:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Somehow you went from bestfreind to enemy,i don't know how that happens but it does.Things will go back to normal eventually if you can work through it.I have been married all of my adult life and during the last 23 years of marriage its been a rollercoaster ride with all the ups and downs.one week we hate each other the next we can't live without and so on.
Good luck.
2006-09-13 09:09:05 · answer #2 · answered by desayunogratis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it could stem from a past relationship, or something that happen in his childhood, Just to tell you, a man takes it really hard when they are turned down, rejected, or said no too, depending on what it is. They may not ever show it, but there selfisteam really gets cut down. you might need to sit down with him, and explain to him and say, honey I dont know what happen in your past relatiosnhip or even family situations, but I can promise you soemthign that i will never hurt you. it sounds like to me that your husband needs lots of Assurance and affermation.
2006-09-13 09:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by justwaitingtoleave 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
could be a past relationship or trust issues. as said before maybe your saying something like " you really look good in that shirt" then later on you'd make a comment about his belly being big or something like that which in his mind would be sending mixed signals......you look good but your really fat...maybe something like that. my spouse does that to me and can't understand why i have trouble believing what they say is true. could be the way your saying thing as to the way they are being precieved by him.
hope this helps and good luck
2006-09-13 09:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to look at the current relationship.
You are supposed to love each other equally not hide from one another or sew the seeds of distrust. I think you need counseling and you need to set boundaries.
check out the book boundaries in Marriage
Good Luck and God Bless
2006-09-13 09:07:17 · answer #5 · answered by msqtech 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should forget every thing, and start new relationship with your husband as a lovely married persons.
2006-09-13 09:11:22 · answer #6 · answered by abotraka777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dot understnad why you let this go one for 8 years. I assume by now you dont think much of yourself- you need to find a good man to make you feel worthy.
2006-09-13 09:26:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did it take him eight years to come to this conclution or did you change. You two need to sit down and have a serious chat if you want to make it another eight years. This in not good for your marriage.
2006-09-13 09:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by robsnor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get Dr. Phils book "relationship Rescue" It helped save my marraige!! Great book for you and your husband to reconnect!
2006-09-13 09:12:09 · answer #9 · answered by razing4boys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has some paranoia issues. I suggest you two go see a counselor or maybe him go see a psychologist/psychiatrist.
2006-09-13 09:10:39 · answer #10 · answered by Green-Eyed Gal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋