A close friend of the family, who is 16, came by my office yesterday in tears because my step-son started a rumor at school that day that they had sex. (No, it isn't true.) Of course I made him apologize to her, but obviously, damage has been done. I'm also a little ticked at his whole attitute - "It was out of my control" and "It was out of my hands". He really isn't taking responsibility for his actions. I have an idea to have him apologize and tell the class where he started the rumor that it isn't true, etc. My thinking is that it will embarass him as he did to her. What do you think?
2006-09-13 01:50:59 · 17 answers · asked by working mom of 3 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I think that's a great idea. It's one thing to have to apologize to the person you hurt, it's another to have to really take responsibility for your actions and admist to everyone that you lied.
Normally, I would say not to get involved in all his little "Teen Drama," but this is a big thing. It's not like someone called him a name at school. I think your idea sounds perfect. Now, I would just see if there's some way you can make sure he definitely told the class.
Good Luck.
2006-09-13 01:58:08 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your stepson wanted to be a big shot - at the expense of that poor girl.
Unfortunately - this isn't a new story. Boys have been exaggerating their sexual conquests forever - without thinking about their victims.
And you're right to want to nip this in the bud. With texting and the Internet - once lies or secrets are unleashed - there's no getting them back. The damage can't be undone.
I'd suggest you talk to his teacher and see if she's willing to open a class discussion about how devastating rumours can be - and how they can take on a life of there own.
It would point out that kids shouldn't believe everything they hear and that they should trust what they know about the character of the victim - rather than the story they heard. It would also make kids think twice before spreading rumours in the first place.
This could encourage your stepson to come lean and make a public apology.
Your local police department may have a cybercrimes division with a specialist who can talk to kids about this kind of bullying.
2006-09-13 02:16:23 · answer #2 · answered by mom of Em 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard one. Where is his father? What is his thoughts about this? The two of you need to be on the same page about this. At 16 years old, teens can be very rebelious. What he did was very wrong, and should be dealt with very carefully. What he did to that girl could hurt her all the way through school. What to do about it? I don't know, but I do know that rumors can stick. Good Luck.
2006-09-13 02:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Word of advice; Teens will be teens, and the best thing to do is to not get involved yourself, no matter how tough it is to steer clear! Kids have a way of working things out on thier own without the help of an elder, chances are that the close freind will find her own revenge and get him back good! You involving yourself will only lead to more difficulty and termoil in yours and your sons relationship! Give it a few days and things will cool down!
2006-09-13 03:01:35 · answer #4 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to do damge control. Rumors like this can devastate a 16 year old girl and ruin her reputation. I would ground him for quite some time and have him make the announcement.
2006-09-13 01:56:14 · answer #5 · answered by KathyS 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He is trying to be big with his mates , seeing the head master wont work or asking him to say sorry because he isn't ... make him confront the Whole school about it. If he does not tell him the school knows his gay.or something to that effect
2006-09-13 03:30:23 · answer #6 · answered by sandman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't do it. Why don't you start a rumor of your own on him...just say to some people, "I heard that this guy was caught jacking off in the school bathroom." Or anything...he will learn
2006-09-13 01:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by gnomus12 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great idea!! And if he refuses, well you can drive him to and from school, he can do extra chores, not attend any sporting events, or any other extra curricular activieties, and oh, he must get permission to breath!!!
He must be taught how to treat a woman now.
Good luck and God Bless!
2006-09-13 02:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by MommyBekah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that is a good idea. You may also want to discuss this with his natural parents. try to come up with a punishment such as volunteering with a youth out reach program.
2006-09-13 03:25:00 · answer #9 · answered by Greeneyed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Making him say "I'm sorry" isn't going to make him man up to it. I'd start by taking things that mean something to him "Out of his hands and out of his control"
TV, Internet, and my personal favorite.. personal time. Let him know on no uncertain terms...you OWN him.
2006-09-13 01:59:31 · answer #10 · answered by Bake 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋