My fiance and I are having an argument and I am hoping others oppinions will help me decide how serious this issue is. He got off work the other day and didn't answer my calls when he showed up at home three hours later he informs me that he's opened up a new checking account and that he has let our account lapse. Then he tells me he didn't have my information to put me on the new account even though he had it written down in his wallet not to mention the phone which he could have just answered. I feel like he is not interested in makeing life decisions with me and now I am a little scared he hasn't been taking care of uor finances and instead has put all his money in an account I can't touch. this all seems a little too convienant so today I have a meeting with a credit and housing advisor. Am I over reacting or should I protect my assets and run?
2006-09-13 01:26:53 · 22 answers · asked by Katlynn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldnt run just yet.. alot of men are just plain stupid, and although to us it makes zero sense why they do things.. to them they really just dont get it.. at this point get ur own checking and just take care of bills that are in ur name that way if he heads for the hills ur credit isnt damaged, give him the opportunity to put u on his account, but it seems to me he has no clue how to manage money so ud be better off just covering ur own butt when it comes to the bills.. pay only those IN YOUR NAME..
2006-09-13 02:31:25 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you're wrong. I feel the same way about my "husband". He has accounts, and money that I don't have access too and he only touches it when he wants something or when an emergency comes up for HIM. He says I'm self-centered when I tell him that I am going to "make sure I am OK", but in reality I am just doing what comes natural. If the person you give your life to separates himself from you, then you are very wise to do what you have to do to make sure you will be stable when or if he decides to jump ship.
I would move out if I were you. You are much stronger than I. I love my husband so even now that he his shut himself off from me and started building a life of his own, I still find it hard to leave him when I feel deep down that it is high time I do.
2006-09-13 01:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by ushouldnoidontplay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I DO think this is a serious problem. I WOULD protect your assets at this point. A future marriage and marriage is based on trust and sharing and there should be no "secret" accounts, etc. You KNOW in your heart that this isn't a good situation. I would pray that you don't keep in this relationship if it remains like it is. In fact, it really wouldn't be a relationship for it takes two to make a relationship. You are currently in a secretive, one sided situation which could easily leave you out in the cold and very very unhappy. This is not the way love works. Please, get out and know there are wonderful men out there that share and care.
2006-09-13 01:34:48 · answer #3 · answered by Royallady1947 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have every right to be upset. It does seem suspicious, too. I can't say run, because it may have been completely honest. However, if he does not put you on that account, then you have a red flag! And if he let that account lapse, you do need to protect your assets until you feel it's a worthy investment. I say this is a serious breech of trust, and even if it's a misunderstanding--you need to be careful.
2006-09-13 01:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go with your gut and I think your gut is telling you to protect yourself. Your fiance has already had the opportunity to build a trusting relationship with you and I would be seriously councerned about a fellow that empties my bank account. Additionally, he's being very withdrawn. If its a simple mistake (the lapsing of the account), he should have the wherewithall to tell you "honey, i screwed up and this is what happened....". But, he didn't do that. Protect your assets and consider marrying a man who has both your financial and emotional interests at heart. You don't want to find yourself one day with the inability to take care of yourself and out on the street.
2006-09-13 01:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by lyricsop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN RUN RUN RUN! Are you going to have to be left with nothing and out in the streets before you realize that you have been PLAYED? If he is not willing to go to the bank TODAY and put you on the account you will have your answer. It seems to me he didn't answer the phone because he didn't want you to know what he was doing. He should have called you and told you he was going to be late. This is not an oversight. I don't understand letting the account lapse? Anyway be glad you aren't married.
2006-09-13 01:32:41 · answer #6 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not over reacting. It does sound like he is up to something and that you are going to get the short end of the stick. Even if yo don't go you need to protect yourself for the in case it doesn't work out you are not getting stuck with everything and you have money in case you want to leave. Don't give all the control of the money to him. I would tell him "By the looks of things you don't want a life with me, so I am making so you don't have to worry about it. Good look with your life."
2006-09-13 01:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely protect yourself but I;m not sure it's time to run quite yet. Try to have a sit down conversation with him about your future. Find out if there's something that has him questioning your future. If you can't talk to each other openly & honestly you should rethink marriage. Marriage should be 2 people who are working together towards the same goals. Good luck, I hope everything works out for the 2 of you!
2006-09-13 01:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are NOT over reacting. This could be a sign, he is independent, and may not care to involve you in even the simplest of decisions, like this checking account. I would not hurry to the alter with this man, until I check out a few things.
2006-09-13 01:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend, before you make a lasting comitment you may be sorry for. The fact that you question his motives shows that your relationship needs some help. Talk to him in a kind and sincere way, and if you still suspect he isn't being honest with you, it may be wise to back off. A womans interwishin,(sp), can be very insightful, and you may need to act on it. Why make a mistake now which may cause you future heartache? Hope all go's well. :) Arum
2006-09-13 01:35:18 · answer #10 · answered by arum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋