2006-09-13 01:09:31 · 17 answers · asked by Jac Tms 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
First of all, if she just recently gave birth she shouldn't be having sex for a least six weeks (that is what most Dr.s recommend). Secondly her hormones need time to get back to normal. After that she could be overtired caring for a newborn, herself and you. The best thing that you could do for her (and you) is to take care of her, make sure that she has time to herself to nap, bathe, or read a book and relax at least for an hour a day that she doesn't have to worry about anyone else. Help her around the house with the laundry, making meals (or finding a sitter and taking her out), doing dishes, etc. and don't pressure her. And lastly don't expect it or hound her for it or you may never get it from her again. (Don't ever say to her "well, I did the dishes, now you have to put out") Let her know that you love her and you are proud of her for the great thing that she did for you. When she is ready, she will let you know, give her time. Best of luck to both of you.
2006-09-13 03:21:42 · answer #1 · answered by bluekitty8098 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every new father thinks two things: the first is "will I ever have sex again?" and the second is "however will we pay for all this stuff?"
You don't say how old your child is, but I'd say; give your wife a break. If your child is less than a year old, she's probably physically and emotionally exhausted. Not many women feel romantic when they are crazed with sleep deprivation and/or are covered in baby sick.
I'd also second Sidoney's comments - try focusing on what is good for her and the baby rather than what you want. Good God, man, the woman you love has gone through an incredible physical and emotional ordeal to provide you with an heir and propogate your genes - try a bit of gratitude!
2006-09-13 08:22:42 · answer #2 · answered by gellhorn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Each woman is different. You have to think if you just passed a lemon through your private parts you wouldn't want to have sex either for a while. Give her some time and take it slow. Also when you think she is ready make the mood. Be romantic and cater to her desires. Most of all through all of this make her feel beautiful and loved whether there is action in the bedroom or not at the moment. There are lots of hormonal changes going on as well at the moment. Some womens bodies take longer to bounce back. There are also other ways to get out your frustrations discuss this with her and maybe she will help you in that department. With some time and patience you will be back in action in no time. Just remember, use birth control until you both are ready for more kids.
2006-09-13 08:18:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you know the most seductive thing you can do to your wife right now? Do you know how to make her really want you? Take care of her and the baby, let her take a long bath with no interruptions, do as much diaper duty as there are hours in your day, help with the cleaning. Bring home dinner and a single rose and a coupon for a pedicure. I'm telling you, she's probably not lacking desire as much as sleep. She probably would love a husband who didn't ask a question like "My wife just had a baby, and I want to get laid, what's wrong with her?"
2006-09-13 08:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by Sidoney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen both sides of this one. My ex wife, after the birth of our first in 1998, basically went from wanting it every night to once a week...if I was lucky. This wasn't a passing thing, cause the next 6 years of our marriage went like this. Now I know she COULD have been making excuses, but I can't prove that.
On the other hand, after the birth of my daughter in February of this year, my fiance went from wanting it every day or so two wanting it...every day or two. I think it just depands on the woman. Maybe she doesn't feel sexy, or attractive. Let her know that you ove her, and are attracted to her. Maybe that'll boost her self esteem, and help resolve the problem.
2006-09-13 09:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by ink_collector 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Between lack of sleep and hormones she isn't going to be in the mood for a while. If she is breastfeeding it will take longer because the hormones are telling her body that she is still caring for a child. Be patient and supportive. Let her get sleep, help with the baby and the housework, offer back rubs and foot massages while laying off on the pressure for sex. Once she gets her groove back she will remember and appreciate all the support you gave her - you won't regret it. ;-)
2006-09-13 08:28:46 · answer #6 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... Not all women are the same...
However, it is draining to expend all your energy during the day taking care of the house, kids, (& for most women) & a job...
Then by the end of the day one can feel like they have nothing left to give...
You may want to sit down & talk to your wife/significant other vs. playing the "blame game". Work out compromises...
Otherwise, both of you maybe on the road to resentments with sex being the under laying issue.
2006-09-13 08:50:50 · answer #7 · answered by gurlyruby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how long ago did she give birth? She more than likely is feeling tired, even if it's been a few months, there is still the getting up every few hours at night thing to deal with.
My best advice to you is to be supportive and helpful. The more you help her the more relaxed she will begin to feel and maybe not so tired and overwhelmed.
2006-09-13 08:14:49 · answer #8 · answered by Kim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that can be perfectly normal
her hormones have just been through major shifts plus being on call 24/7 with the little one can mean little left over for anything else
try helping her out around the house and with the baby and when the baby begins to sleep through the night again you may find that she regains more of her previous vitality
2006-09-13 08:18:05 · answer #9 · answered by Aslan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think so, kids are draining and constantly needing attention. At the end of the day sometimes you just want your own space. Just give her time, don't be pushy, plan a night for the two of you where you set up a babysitter and such, that will help.
2006-09-13 08:17:05 · answer #10 · answered by turtle43761 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋