A guy I used to know pursued a 'trophy' girflriend--you know, a looker, arm-candy, hard-to-get. They went out for 2 years, broke up but he kept her on as a 'good-buddy-platonic-gal-just-a-friend.' He later married another girl, but trophy-girl stays in his life. This has been going on for the 12 years of the marriage.
He drops the house-work, leaves his family on trophy-gal's beck-and-call, to do something like fix the settings on her computer, listen to her woes about her ex-hubby, or just listen to her gab, or "help" (= does it himself) her move furniture.
If you ask me, he still has a thing for her, and it's very generous--or foolish--of his wife to tolerate him 'polishing off his trophy' along side their marriage. I say they are headed for trouble.
Question being: is it okay to keep former significant others 'in the picture' after you have married?
2006-09-13 00:42:38 · 7 answers · asked by inprimeform 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unless this man has unbelievable will power, I'd have to agree with you...they are headed for trouble. That is just too much temptation for him, especially since you said she has an ex-husband. There is no reason for this relationship to continue and there is no reason for him to be so accommodating to this other woman when he has a family at home that should be his number one priority. Unless of course, there is something going on, then in his logic, it would make sense. Affairs can be emotional as well as physical and this wife should pay more attention to what is really going on.
2006-09-13 00:51:50 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a married lady and have male friendships that i maintain with my husbands blessing
however he would not tolerate me maintaining contact with anyone that there had been reciprocal 'chemistry' with because that would be a threat to our relationship ( and i wouldn't like that either if the situations were reversed)
i think in this case if the wife minds this situation why did she let it go on for so long? also spending long periods of time in the other lady's company is a danger sign too.
but unless you are intimately involved in the relations described then i would stay well out of it and let all concerned work it out for themselves
2006-09-13 08:03:25 · answer #2 · answered by Aslan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really depends on if there is trust in the current relationship. If there is trust than the one allowing the former lover shouldn't worry to a point. But never allow to much alone time because if there is any vulnerability there something could happen. "Give them enough rope to hang them selves with and they will."
2006-09-13 07:57:39 · answer #3 · answered by barbara_taylor17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this pertains to you then no its not right if its not you its still not right but none of your business unless shes either one of the women are your sister
2006-09-13 07:47:50 · answer #4 · answered by t b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No and they are definately headed for trouble .
2006-09-13 07:58:19 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don´t think so.
2006-09-13 08:36:48 · answer #6 · answered by Green-Eyed Gal 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO
2006-09-13 07:46:08 · answer #7 · answered by yarisgp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋