i am married with three children, my first born is turning 22 on the 15 december this year and the last child but one is 12 years old. my problem now is that i have another child outside marriage who is three years old after my husband deserted the family for more than six years since 1997. Am i in trouble of having the child outside the recommended marriage since the husband was away without my knowledge? I reported the matter to the magistrate court and he was charged with deserting family charge of which he has been paying maintenance for his three children and he stopped it after i gave birth to the fourth child who is not his in 2003. Now the guy wants to come back to the family according to his statement, and he's now asking for reconcilliation from me but he's saying he want to sue the new child's father for compensation saying the guy has destroyed his marriage. My question is, does it worth it for my husband to sue the guy though he was the one who ran away from his family?
2006-09-12 22:51:16 · 17 answers · asked by ogolotse desiree d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you would talk to a lawyer,this is something that they can help you with.
2006-09-12 22:55:09 · answer #1 · answered by horseknickers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all i feel that your husband is in the wrong here. One he deserted you and his children.Toe he stopped making payments for his own children when he found out about your other child and this is wrong.
He had a duty and obligation of responsibilitie to you and your children and he up and left. What where you suppose to do hang around for his return and lead the life of a nun whilst he got his act together?
He should never have stopped payment for his three children, you do not ask for payment of fourth so he was wrong to stop any payment.
Now he wants to sue for this being the reason of destroying your marrage NO he destroyed not only your marriage but also your self esteem, confidence and also your children that you had together lives.
He should be the one YOU sue for none payment of money and desersion causing what must have been total grief and shock to you all.
Think carefully as to having your husband back as it sounds like from what you wrote he is in it for what he can get.
You are a person in your own right and have more than likey worked dam hard for yourself and his children in his absence.
I would question as to why after all this time he wants you all back and why did he leave and run away from his resposiblities in the first place?
Hope you work something out but the answer is NO he does not have the right to sue this other man.
2006-09-12 23:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by momof3 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is this,was you with your husband (living under the same roof as you)at the time you got pregnant with the other man, if no then he cannot ask nothing, only you can sue for you say maintenance. nor can he sue for father of the 4th child, unless you was having sex with both men at the same time. if not, your husband has no right to say anything do to that he lefted you.. by some laws if you 2 was no longer together for 7 years you are no longer man and wife, check your city law books. or see a lawyer,
2006-09-12 23:10:31 · answer #3 · answered by dmncprkr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I understand you correctly, you didn't have the last child until your husband was 3 years gone from the marriage ... and I presume you thought that he was never coming back. The thing is, you don't say whether or not your husband left because you had taken up with another man, and it's not clear from what you've written. I think you need to consult a family law solicitor about this.
But it isn't fair for you to ask your ex-husband to support a child that isn't his, that child's father should be doing that.
2006-09-13 01:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no because it was acknowledged by the magistrate that he had deserted you. PPl have affairs outside of marriage all of the time. You are the only one who can say if it broke up your family or not. And by the way if he was dumb enough to leave you for that many years then you dont need to take him back. There is probably some idiotic reason that he is back anyways. And he will get what he needs and be gone again. Good luck to you
2006-09-12 22:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by star_bright083 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the guy alone. Your husband is faulty. Your question should be if your husband worth a second chance. First he deserted you, now he's blaming that guy for destroying his marriage. Why putting his blame on others?
If your husband loves you, he will accept his mistakes,accept the child and forget everything.
Do you think in those 6 years, he was all alone, waiting to be reconciled with you.
What people lack nowadays is honesty, integrity and conscience.
2006-09-13 00:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by Saphire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with what the others have said. My husband & I both were both still in college while married. It seems like your husband is enjoying college life a little too much. There is no excuse for him to be staying away when the school is only 45-60 minutes away. Almost all the commuters I knew in school drove that EVERY day to get to class. What makes him so special that he can drop his wife & any financial responsibilities just so he can get his MBA. There is no excuse for his behavior. Maybe you should ride into campus & see if he's doing something other than studying...Sorry!
2016-03-26 23:02:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were already separated when you had you last child then he in not obligated to pay for that child. He is still liable for the others. Is he really taking legal action against the father of youngest child? Sound's to me like a bruised ego. He's just upset because that child is proof that you tried to move on after he left. In which case I would think twice before reconciling (if that's part of your plan).
Personally, If I were you I'd wash my hands of him he sounds like a bit of a manipulative control freak.
2006-09-13 01:37:37 · answer #8 · answered by StolenAnjel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say try not let this man crawl back into your life and for the other use correct channels seek advice as do you really think by getting back with your husband and then going through the stress & strain of a past relationship the ins & outs of it.... It won't work! So first thing is to seek counceling for you both and build from they.
2006-09-12 23:22:11 · answer #9 · answered by sandra+3... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to bring some kind of proof that ur husband left u a long time ago.the problem is that u were still married to him and didnt get a divorce.why did u stay married anyway if he left u?well u need to answer that and proof of him leaving u and sice when he wasnt there anymore then he cant pull this bullshit on u.
good luck to u
2006-09-14 16:48:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know.....theres a million and one ways to prevent pregnancy these days....why get pregnant again? especially outside of your marriage, you need to keep your knickers on hun,think of the kids, and not the ex....he's a low life for leaving you to raise kids on your own, just get on with your life....oh, and use protection or there will be more kids running about your feet, dont repeat the same thing that was a mistake in the first place....you'll only end up going round in circles.....
2006-09-12 23:08:51 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋