I have lost my wife of 24 years because I now know I failed to meet her needs. I know now how crazy it has been to raise our six kids and me. She needed to bail and now I can understand why only after going throuh it for the past three months alone. I still love her but cann't reach her emotionally. I know that if I can show her I understand, she may fall in love with me again. I want to learn what I can do. I want to be her man again. I have been the provider and protecter but not the man she needs emotionally. I am 44 and want to start over with her. What can I do that would start this process? I am serious and would like to change because she is worth it. As a man I was blind to her needs, what she really needs, not what the world tells a man but what a woman wants to tell a man. Help! I am ready to do for her. I do not want to just change and let my change be benefited by another, I want her (my wife) to have all I can give. Thanks ahead of time for being helpfully candid.
2006-09-12 22:49:48 · 16 answers · asked by james.ampmerch 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I suggest you start talking to Jesus and be a changed man. God blesses matrimony. Perhaps you don't just have to change for your wife, but for God as well. Please read this site : http://www.christian-faith.com/testimonies/michelle-marriage.html
Once your wife has been restored to you, go to church together and pray together. A couple that prays together makes a succesful relationship.
Be patient and faithful, to your wife and the Lord. He only wants good things for you so trust Him and keep asking for his guidance.
2006-09-12 23:06:38 · answer #1 · answered by Liz^24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and think very hard. What was it that attracted her to you 24 years ago.Check what in you have changed. It must have happened over a period of time.Work on that. Call her and let her know how you feel. It will be a really sad day if you find out that in spite of the fact that she left she still loves you and you never let her know how you feel. If everything you say is true then you must do everything in your power to save this marriage. Maybe the split was what you needed. Get hold of her and save your marrige. 24 years is a lifetime- you can;t get it back.
Good luck and God Bless.
2006-09-13 05:56:58 · answer #2 · answered by robsnor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A groundbreaking new survey has mapped how women feel about everything from sex -- to shopping -- to being with their families.
What women hate most is commuting. Getting to and from work rates the lowest on the survey of women.
And housework didn’t score much better as women say its among their least favorite duties.
The new study in the journal “Science” is a groundbreaking new way to measure happiness. The survery asked 900 women to rank daily activities with six being the most favorable score and zero the lowest.
Among the surprises, women said being with friends was the most enjoyable followed by relatives and then spouses. Fourth on the list was being with children.
Another surprise is that women who made more money were not necessarily happier.
But sleep does as the study says a women’s happiness depends largely on how well she’s sleeping. Women who are well-rested are generally happier.
The big winner as to what makes women the happiest is sex.
2006-09-13 05:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your wife honestley. Even if that means that you have to write her a letter and put all of your feels in it. Start with an apology letting her know that you failed to see how hard things were for her. Let her know that you understand now and you want to make things right. She may just need a break, but if you let her think that things will never change she will never come back. SHOW HER HOPE
2006-09-13 05:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by Shanigirl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's tough well if your wife doesn't completely hate you and wont slam the door on your face when you knock or hang up the phone on you then I'd say maybe bring her some flowers and tell her that you love her and tell her you will try more. but dont just tell her you need to mean it too. if she does slam the door and the phone then I'd say wait a little longer and let her cool down some more. Patience is a virtue.
2006-09-13 05:56:33 · answer #5 · answered by cinderella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak from my pt of view and this doesn't necessarily apply to all women BUT... in my opinion, a woman wants attention from her man. She wants to feel wanted, needed, complimented and appreciated. U can demonstate this by giving her some quality time...just the two of u. U can also show it by helping a little around the house. She wants to be seen as well as heard. Communication is very important to us and our spouses hearing and truly understanding where we're coming from is paramount. It shows us that u care and respect our feelings.
When u don't spend time with us at all, we feel neglected. When we need to talk to u about something and u ignore us, we feel neglected because all we want is to be heard and understood. When we feel neglected, this reflects in every aspect of the marriage...i.e...lack of interest in sex with u, and for some women, this results in constant nagging. When we ask u to do something for us...even something as small as asking u to pick up something from the store on your way home from work...do not forget it because when u do, it makes us feel u are not giving importance to us.
When she wants to do something with u and you're either too tired or would rather go out with your friends, again we feel like you're just putting us on the back burner.
Most importantly, we want to be touched, to be held. It doens't have to result in sex. We just want the touch of a loved one. And...do not take us for granted.
I'm sorry this is kind of long but for me, these are important in a marriage.
2006-09-13 06:09:12 · answer #6 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her out for a date. No sex, no petting, and no deep throat kissing. Start off slow and easy. No sex until after you are again married. Take a couple of years before even considering that step, not even discussing it.
Read the books listed below:
http://www.drlaurashop.com/product.php?id=42
http://www.drlaurashop.com/product.php?id=39
You can also find them at the library.
2006-09-13 05:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman wants 2 b respected, loved, cared about,some one 2 tell her thank u,& 2 b treated like a PERSON,and MOST OF ALL !!! TELL HER U APPERCIATE HER 4 ALL SHE HAS 2 OFFER !!! LOL
2006-09-13 05:57:48 · answer #8 · answered by Why do I need a name 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
either move on or communicate your feelings directly, 24 yrs that hurts but there isw still time for another, learn and dont make the same mistakes
2006-09-13 06:38:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest reading The Emotionally Abusive Relationship. It will give you some tools with regard to what to do and what not to do.
2006-09-13 06:01:53 · answer #10 · answered by ASTI 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋