I need mature answers regarding this.
My bestfriend had never been in a serious woman-man relationship (apparently she had always thought she's a lesbo turned bi and now straight) until she met her now-husband. Though her husband knows and accepts everything abt her past and loves her very much (and she promised me she'll remain as faithful with such an extraordinary husband), she can't help but think of/revisit her past. Aside from her now-husband, she still feels attracted to the same sex and at times imagine being in a relationship with them. Is it bad and/or should she tell her husband or just let it go? By the way, she loves her husband very much. I just feel it's just a phase she's going thru and I wanted to enlighten her that it's just but normal.
2006-09-12 21:16:53 · 13 answers · asked by kamahalan_12 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its just a phase. She should focus her sexual energy on her husband and stop thinking about her past. Sometimes our current problems make us think that if we could only go back to the past, then we'd have it so much better....while we were probably suffering through it at that time! Tell your friend that she should consider marriage counselling or just keeping a computer diary to vent her feelings (one that's password locked or just delete every daily entry) and not to think so much about the past...because that's where it truly belongs...behind her.
2006-09-12 21:43:22 · answer #1 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they have a good thing going, notwithstanding the past. My take is that she can fantasize all she likes, but if she actually wants to do something, that's a problem. I have no objection to her telling her husband -- in fact, it could strengthen the relationship. I don't think it should be viewed as "just a phase" -- but it is not necessarily a problem, either.
2006-09-12 21:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do this daily....just about every time I have sex with my wife, I fantasize that it's me lying there underneath a strong man. It took until I was 39 before I ever acted on these fantasies...and my wife still doesn't know about it. But what people don't understand, I don't want a relationship with another man, just pure raw sex....and that's what I do. I'm meeting my boyfriend this Friday morning and I'll be his little s.l.u.t and when my wife gets back home Friday evening, I'll be thinking of how good a w.h.o.r.e. I was for him when I'm making love to her.
2006-09-13 04:35:30 · answer #3 · answered by bimale694u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is really your friend you should enlighten her more... according to your story, she just decided to be with her husband because he loves her and accepted her for what she is... i do not believe that she really loves her husband.. because if she does, she'd honor her vows to be faithfull to him, anyway, she already promised that.. and if the husband agrees for her to experiment, many problems could arise... for instance what if your friend finds out that she really is a lesbo and never really turned bi or straight... or what if the husband gets jealous... or what if the husband gets repulsed and leave... tell her all the risks and the effects of her actions a 1000 times before she decides on what she'll do.. anyway, nobody can really tell your friend what to do but herself... just help her see things more clearly and she might do what's best for her and her husband and family...
2006-09-13 21:31:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why hide it from him. He didn't have a problem with it to begin with. Maybe she still needs that in her life. Explain the situation he may be receptive of it. In a relationship there shouldn't be a problem discussing issues. Get it out talk about it you will feel better.
2006-09-12 22:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is hardly anything that can control our thinking process or say our fantasy.. A person is free to fantisize anything but problem starts if the real act of this fantasy is harmful and if someone tries to implement it...
She should stay away from doing it for real....
2006-09-12 21:36:59 · answer #6 · answered by CosmicLight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it's just a phase, but it's not really a bad thing as long as it stays a fantasy. if she loves her husband and he can except it than i would say let her fantasize. maybe she can even let her husband in on some of them.....
2006-09-12 21:31:57 · answer #7 · answered by April H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not just a phase. having relations other than marriage lead into complications like hiv etc,. she should by all means ignore such activities.if she wants to marry. otherwise even if her hubby agrees out of broadmindedness both will land into problems
2006-09-12 21:20:02 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never run from who you are, you can't run from your past. It sounds as if she's bi. I won't judge bad from Good or Viceversa just the fact you can't hide your heart...
2006-09-12 21:21:24 · answer #9 · answered by biang78 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it cant be normal! but again im not sure how bad it is for the relationship!
coz it simply means that she is not 100% satisfied
2006-09-12 21:35:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋