My wife told me it's over 3 months ago. She told me she is attached to a co-worker at a job she started 2.5 years ago and her relationship with him is just one of those things that happened. Her involvement with this man has been for 2 years.Since she has moved out she says, only kissing,drinking,touching & have slept in the same bed,but no sex. She left me and our kids 3 months ago,after being married 24 years, and has stayed with a girl friend from the same job. This guy has stayed there, too. Now, she has rented a 2 bedroom apt. and says that they(her & the guy) are moving in together but just as room-mates, and that is it. Why does a person lie to not hurt another and then when the lie comes to the surface they say i didn't want to hurt you. I know I should move on and raise the kids, but It is hard to walk away from a 24 year relationship, just like that. The guy is married and cant afford a divorce and has 3 kids. I believe she is under outside influence & likes her new freedom.
2006-09-12 21:11:18 · 7 answers · asked by james.ampmerch 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At times I think I am going INSANE, but thanks to the responsibilities that I have, It helps alot to remind me to get a grip. Other times I cann't stop dwelling. I know there is a new life out there for me and my kids. I just need to let go and heal so I can be me again. I want to be with someone in the future but not until I straighten up my mind. I'd hate to bring this mind set into a new relationship.
2006-09-12 21:25:12 · update #1
Your answers so far have brought tears to my eyes and I am moved emotionally. I just want the truth because I believe it is the only thing that can heal, even though the truth can be hurtful, it is a hurt that can heal a troubled heart.
2006-09-12 21:34:27 · update #2
I've witnessed a similar situation with a family member of mine. He tried many different tactics to get her to come back home, but in the end the thing that made him the happiest was to just move on. I'm not saying you should or could quit caring about her, but learn where to draw the line with her. It's you and the kids now. Your children, if they are still in the home, will likely resent you in some ways if you make getting her back the priority of your life. Remember your children are going through this as well and they are with one less full time parent. In the end it will make your relationships with them stronger and that's something they will remember and appreciate their entire lives.
2006-09-12 21:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a fool but I can definitely see the denial there. We deny admitting things like that because we want to believe that the person who is hurting us loves enough not to put us in such pain. Don't believe her. Nobody moves in with the "other man" as just roommates. She may be telling you that to avoid hurting you any further and even if they are just "roommates" something will happen again between the two of them. Don't justify her actions by telling your self that it is because she is being influenced by whomever on the outside. Don't do that to yourself. The fact is that we all make our own decisions and whether it is because something on the outside is more appealing, it is the person that takes that first step in the wrong direction. If she wants to come back do not do so unless she is willing to go to counseling because she will do it again. These wounds do not heal easily... Good Luck My Friend
2006-09-13 04:21:51 · answer #2 · answered by forme2poopon73 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to move on and raise the kids, I was in a 10 year relationship that was similar too what you are in and the best thing I did was take my kids and run! Now 5 years later I am remarried and in a great relationship with my husband and he takes great care of me and my kids and we are now in the process of having him adopt them, the story that you told me was a situation that I was also in growing up and my Mom just up and left my brother and I with my Dad for another man and my Dad raised us, and I will be completely honest with you I would have not wanted anything different growing up, my Dad is and awesome Man and he will always be in my eyes my Mom and my Dad in one! Don't let her drag you along for her ride it's only gonna hurt you and the kids more and more everyday! Good Luck and my prayers are with you and your kids!
2006-09-13 04:24:57 · answer #3 · answered by stormy2u2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure ending a relationship is hard wether it be 5,10,24 years,and you loved her..but plz.do u realy want to stay with a ho u cant ever trust again?and you know in your heart you couldnt.then she would resent the lack of trust and use it as an excuse to leave again..cuz you know once a cheatcuz i was married to a man who cheat and he realy only came forward when he got caught,,she obviously never treasured ur vows,,i mean come on she left her own babies for this guy,what kind of mongeral does that?find a new woman and raise your kids together
2006-09-13 04:25:02 · answer #4 · answered by native,pride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your wife cheater on you and you didn't notice. She has to finally tell you. You deserve a better person to be your wife. Take care of your finances so that your wife will get none from a divorce. She may get 1/2 of everything you own and give it to the other guy... this includes your 401K and pension. Protect yourself now.
2006-09-13 04:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by RunSueRun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes- you are a fool in denial. You deserve someone much better than that.
2006-09-13 04:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
move on for your own sanity man don't chase her anymore they love that ignore her.
2006-09-13 04:17:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋