I was raped when I was 16. I am now 22. I am on morphine for my chronic pelvic pain my body is shuting down more every day from what he did to me. I dont want to lose my husband. Sex hurts bad in my pelvic area and in my fears. I dont want to have sex. I have been looking for 6 years for a dr that will help me and not just dope me up. untill the can fix me sex will hurt. I have sex with him even though it hurts worse then child birth because I am scared if I dont give it up he will find someone who will. what do I do I cant live like this?
2006-09-12 20:21:22 · 12 answers · asked by heather m 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
because of the traumatic experience you had, you developed feelings of aversion towards sex.first of rule out any physical illness by consulting a good gynecologist and you are to undergo psychotherapy or behavior modification therapy which will solve your problem.
2006-09-12 20:27:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 15⤊ 0⤋
HEllo
you need a multi-level approach to this problem before it eats up what is left of your life.
Most importantly, you need counselling by a competent psychiatrist who specializes in rape trauma. Before a psychiatrist will see you, though, a medical doctor has to rule out all other problems - such as internal malformations, something like Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (you may have been given an infection which did not necessarily have strong symptoms) or Endometriosis. And your husband - if he does not already know, you must tell him. He undoubtedly will be supportive of you.
As for finding a doctor who will not just dope you up: get a second opinion, or get another doctor, but do not throw out the baby with the bathwater - if you do have a physical condition that is giving you pain you need treatment for the pain as well. And if the condition can be treated, you will eventually go off the morphine.
2006-09-13 08:09:07 · answer #2 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor girl, you are only 22 and you are facing big problem.
Your bad experience in the past must have caused your mind going against sex. I see this is the main root of the problem that needs to be fixed. This will take a long process before you can get rid of it. You need the specialist to help you on this issue.
Then comes the next problem on your physical pain. You need to tell him the truth, remember a good sex can never happen to only one person but it takes two to be perfect.
No point you are bearing the pain just for him to achieve his climax. It is just like him making love with the corpse. Perhaps I am a bit over saying but surely, that is not the way to hold on to your husband.
2006-09-12 20:45:00 · answer #3 · answered by Rod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the sex hurts because you believe it hurts. You were raped at a very young age and it wasn't your fault. Sex still traumatizes you because it reminds you of being raped. You are holding on to you past to tight. Have you explained this to your husband? Does he know this pains you? Talk with him. He will be more loving, he will be more supportive, he will be less aggressive and more gentle. This will help with the pain. Your husband is not the rapist. He's your husband and he cares for very much. You have to tell him how it makes you feel. After that he will try to help you deal with your emotions. It is you and only you that has to decide that it wasn't your fault. When you decide that it wasn't your fault and you realize that your husband is a very loving man, then and only then the sex will stop hurting and be more loving. Good Luck!!
2006-09-12 20:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by danny_austin4 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the first and very important thing is u talk to your hubby about the past incident. arrange in your mind what u want to explain and discuss preferably after having sex (also explain him that u don't want to loose him at any cost) , when u have pain.
by making him understand your situation, your physical problem might solve. both of u can adopt other ways to enjoy sex like oral sex, or mutual masturbating etc.
consult a good psychologist for your mental fear of sex. try to forget about the past for which you are not at all responsible. these will take time but patiently follow the therapy suggested by psychologist.
try to do some creative work or find out some job which u like to do. don't be empty minded all the time, that will not allow you to forget your past. have some good friends and develop hobby which make u happy.
good luck baby...
2006-09-12 22:54:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
End it. The drama factor is too high for sanity. Until you two can sit down and have a true heart to heart about your fears and needs, this will cycle will continue I am sure. The fact that he put his hands on you in anger would be a relationship killer for me. You two are so out of touch with each other it's scary. Your relationship is completely unhealthy. And if he makes you feel bad about yoourself why stay?? However, you are not blameless here either. You need to learn to control your insecurities and recognize them for what they are. If you get all jumpy when he's just talking with other females, your in for a world of trouble. The fact that he was rubbing on you supposed friends leg, yes that was crossing a line, but getting in his face for "flirting" with the bartender is crossing the line too unless he was propositioning her right in front of you. Hope you get it figured out. Having a man respect and appreciate you for everything you are is the sweetest gift on the planet and if you've never had it, you should try to find it.
2016-03-26 22:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter was on morphine for her chronic pelvic pain: turns out she had a very aggressive case of endometriosis
painful sex is one of it's symptoms! find a dr that is an expert on endometriosis, there aren't many of them out there, that will believe your pain
Surgery was the only thing that helped my daughter, she's already had 2 of them.
don't let the pain ruin your life....
my daughter's pain got so bad, I had to take her to ER several times
it wasn't till she had surgery to remove all the growths, that her pain went away. and yes, they say it is MORE painful that childbirth!!
Endo CAN be life threatening, if the growths wrap themselves around your organs, be careful
My daughter was only 14 when she started having chronic pelvic pain, and it took 2 years for a Doctor to believe her!!! Don't wait!
2006-09-12 22:49:39 · answer #7 · answered by just me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't talk to your husband about the most serious problem in your life and he won't stop having sex with you due to it causing the worst pain in your life then you need to get a divorce!
2006-09-12 20:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel really bad for you and your situation, I had a different problem and went through a number of doctors too, none of them were able to help me, but my mom found an article that was able to give a little insight and help me.
I think you may hav some serious issues, did you ever talk to a plastic surgeon...?
2006-09-12 20:27:06 · answer #9 · answered by jsbrads 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your husband about your concerns and fears. You might be able to find some middle ground such as oral sex or some other alternative.
2006-09-12 20:25:00 · answer #10 · answered by X 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋