i found out my husband my having affair, he say sorry to me and ask me to forgive ,shud i forgive him,i really dun know what shud i do ? ,i have 2 lovely kids.he having an affair with his coworker , when i was on confinement at my mum place,he told me he regret it and he say he love me ,he ask me to give him a chance.i am very confused ,shud i forgive him ?
2006-09-12 19:54:08 · 41 answers · asked by sadlady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldnt, but if you do make him suffer....
2006-09-12 20:09:23 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow. I am truly sorry to hear that. I would be devastated as well if my hubby were to be cheating. First of all, how long have you been married? You know, I would probably forgive my hubby, but it would take a loooooong time for me to trust again. I would hope that you guys would be willing to go to counseling. Sometimes an outsider can look in and help. Sometimes people run to get things that they can't get elsewhere. Have you two been fighting? Has the sex been cold? Perhaps you aren't communicating as much? These are things that can be worked out by sitting together alone and talking. (or with a counselor). Find out why he cheated and give him and ultimatum.
2006-09-12 20:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by mamacass0304 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Oh, and people that go to marriage counselors rarely ever fix a broken relationship. Usually it just solidifies the fact that it's time for a divorce. You can try it, but....he broke a major trust issue---fidelity, which is what marriage is about. Plus, you have to think of being a good role model to your children. I don't envy your position right now. I see nothing wrong with asking questions and getting objective answers, so don't listen to that one lady that made a negative comment about listing it here. Sometimes we have to ask perfect strangers for an objective response and it's the best way.
2006-09-12 19:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by Neophyte 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Give him a chance on one condition. That you both go through marriage counselling, otherwise he will only do this again. You have to figure out WHY he was cheating and that the reason could come up again, then he will just have another affair. Please get marriage counselling otherwise you'll end up hurting your kids with a messy divorce but right now, the marriage can still be saved. Give it your best shot.
2006-09-12 20:57:00 · answer #4 · answered by DrSH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive him and give him a chance. Have a strong idea in your mind that if he does this the next time you should leave him. You say this to him also.
Because i too gave a chance to my husband even when he didnt regret for it.
Many men will change atleast for the sake of the life which came from them.
2006-09-12 20:39:13 · answer #5 · answered by white rose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you mean you had just given birth & he had affair while you were on confinement? You should seek a counsellor about your marriage, it's serious! I knew woman as a whole like to bring back the past to nag at their husband every single hicup recurr. I suggest you iron your problem right on the spot. Are you both Christians? GOd bless!
2006-09-15 16:35:32 · answer #6 · answered by George 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to think about it... does he treat you with much love and respect? well obviously not respect because he's already cheated on you... and what is going to happen if you stay with him and he does it again. can you say honestly that you really love him? can you love a man that cheated on you? is he worth all this effort? ok im asking more questions than answering them, but every situation is different. some people really can regret their faults and change. some really dont get it and thinks its acceptable to want something with someone else. if he is that type of person than you shouldnt be okay with that. its not healthy for you to be in that relationship and its isnt healthy for your children either. but all in all, you have to evaluate the situation and your husband and your emotions toward this whole thing. sorry but, this is one question you have to answer yourself my friend...
2006-09-12 20:03:40 · answer #7 · answered by watnow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband did the same and I gave him another chance at that time we also had two kids, he also told me he love me and he wouldn't do that again. but guess what he did it again and I left home took our four kids and know Im filing for a divorce. He had hurt me so bad Im gonna make him pay for what he did to me and to make our kids hurt to. It's up to you but for my point of view I thought he changed but second of all once a cheater always a cheater. Sorry you have to go through this just be strong and and be there for your kids because your kids will need you the most.
2006-09-12 20:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by Hawaiianlady 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
do you still loving' him this is a question for u. don't do it just for ur kids, do it for u.
if if if you are gonna come back with him is because you love him and for this love you will forgive him but if you are not so sure about that take your time and don't rush the things if you will have an affair he would forgive you as you gonna do it?
2006-09-12 19:59:09 · answer #9 · answered by pussy_cat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will say that once a cheater always a cheater, even though I believe it to be a cliche. You should take into account questions like: How long have you been married; How did you feel about him before his mistake; How do you feel about him now that you know; Has he lied to you before and a great many other concerns. While you're doing that, remind yourself that neither you nor your kids have to put up with that.
2006-09-12 20:01:28 · answer #10 · answered by Jerrysberries 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should forgive your husband if he had sincerely felt sorry for what he had done and promised not to do the same again. if you do not forgive him you will only be harming yourself because of the anger and hatred on the other party.
2006-09-12 20:01:18 · answer #11 · answered by kongchai 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋