Both my bestfriend and my boyfriend are extremely close to me. I love my bestfriend like family but my boyfriend also. Problem is, my bestfriend doesn't approve of my boyfriend. She respects that we love eachother and that I'm not going to leave him, but it upsets me that we can't all talk together. I try to make equal time for both of them but sometimes it upsets me that I have to choose between who to spend time with and who not to, instead of them just making an effort to get along. I've tried talking to both of them, but they both blame the situation on the other. I've been with my boyfriend for two years but have been bestfriends with my friend for three, is it wrong to choose my boyfriend over my bestfriend, or to choose my bestfriend over my boyfriend? I care for them both so much. What do you think I should do?
2006-09-12 19:25:14 · 20 answers · asked by *Elle Marie* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Neither has ever done anything to the other. My bestfriend just says that he "seems like the type of guy to hurt you". Even though he's never actually done anything to hurt me even after 2 years! And he just doesn't like her because she "tries to control our relationship" even though she never tells me, or us, what we should or shouldn't do. I guess he just doesn't like knowing her opinions, and she doesn't like what she believes is his personality.
2006-09-12 19:45:52 · update #1
aww.. tricky stuff..! well i really dont think you need to choose!! do they really need to get aloong anyways? well i know it sounds really cool that your boyfriend and best friend get along.. and you can hang out with both of them at the same time.. but its not that cool you know.. coz by bf & best pal would get along really well.. and by bf would ask me pal to come along evertime we went out..! it wasnt a great feeling.. coz i felt like i never gotto spend time with him!! well.. any ways.. so wht if you cant hand out with your gf & bf at the same time..if you care forboth of them you dont need that do you..! i really dont think you should choose. i think you should try to make them get along.. ( might seem hard) but you can blackmail them into liking each other or something.. after all.. i bet your bf knows how mch your pal means to you .. and i bet your best friend knows how mch your boyfriend means to you!! well they should understand.. They better..! whoever doesnt understand should be chucked!!
2006-09-12 19:35:09 · answer #1 · answered by rocker_girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No no no. This is not fair at all. You shouldnt have to choose anyone. They should respect your feelings and try to get along. Sounds to me like they are in a competition for your attention. They both need to understand that they need to start getting along or youre gonna have to ditch both of them for a little while. If they both care for you, then they will respect your feelings for the other. Sounds like your best friend might just be jealous that its not just the 2 of you anymore. Just tell them you want both of them or none of them. LOL That should scare them. Good luck
2006-09-12 19:39:04 · answer #2 · answered by Care Bear 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you shoul continue to be as you are with both of them. If they treasure you then they'll respect you for making time for both of then. In my view you can never say what a boyfriend may do to you but a best friend will always stick around.
That the beauty of having friends they respect your decision but just in the same way they'll be honest.
In the end if a broken heart comes yor way it will be your friend who will heal it with out telling you " I TOLD YO SO '
2006-09-12 19:33:23 · answer #3 · answered by Unique 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your best friend is being a little too needy. Your intimate relationships are an important aspect of your life and if your bff doesn't get that then she is just being plain inconsiderate. Unless she has some really good reasons for her disapproval then let her know to back off a bit.
2006-09-12 19:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by chitown.nate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL! I had the same problems in highschool and a couple years after. My "bestfriend" was always against everyone I went out with. Dont think its wrong to choose your boyfriend over your friend. Remember its about you! no one else matters. Only what you want matters. If you really want to be with your boyfriend more than go with him. If you really want to be with your friends then go with your friends. It doesnt matter what your friends think about him if they get mad cause you want to be with him more, then its pure jealousy
2006-09-13 11:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by MJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a very difficult situation. I know how you feel. It happened to me once as well. In the end I married my boyfriend and lost my Friend. The problem was they got along together, and in my eye the got along too well together. Hope I helped a bit.
2006-09-12 19:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your bestfriend at one point told you to leave him, and your bestfriend loves you for real, then something tells me he or she knows something about your boyfriend that is not good. Your bestfriend is afraid it might hurt you to know. So he or she keeps quiet but can not forgive him him.
If that is not it. Then go out together and sit and talk.
2006-09-12 19:43:44 · answer #7 · answered by carabela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
choose them both spend time with them like on a every other day schedule don't let a man come between you and your bff and don't let your bff come between your man why doesn't she like him did they have a falling out or what is it her or is it him or is it both maybe you should sit them both down and talk about it let them both know how you feel about the situation i hope this helps at least a little good luck to you best wishes with everything
2006-09-12 19:41:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried the old 'If you love me, you'll make an effort to get along...' speech? I know it sounds like emotional blackmail, but surely you can goad them into showing a speck of maturity. Tell them you dont give a rat's a*se who started it, you want their behaviour to end. And if they love you, they will try.
2006-09-12 19:29:06 · answer #9 · answered by the_fatmanwalksalone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your want you to breakup him because she want him.This can be true because nowadays best friends or stealing their best friends boyfriend, it true. So if she a best friend she must do her job of being a best friend and not a best friend's boyfriend stealer.Ask her about it and if she does not give you a good reason that mean that she is jealous of you. Then choose your boyfriend because if you dump your boyfriend then she would start dating him.
2006-09-12 20:02:38 · answer #10 · answered by dollyfacesash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋