Whenever I do... it only hurts me. I don't know. But what I do know is that in the end, it seems so pointless. I feel ashamed for trusting people because in the end... they are not as good as friends as I thought they were. I never had a true friend. I have learned over time to never fully trust people... and always be ready for them to turn there backs on me. Because they will...
I'm not a bad person. In fact everyone that knows me in real life has only kind words for me. I always smile and I'm nice to everyone. I always help others but in the end that is all they want. They want to complain to me about their life... and in return they don't want to hear about mine...
Should I continue to be there for others... when no one is there for me...? I feel as if I’m a shadow. Helping everyone with their problems and being silent about mine. I hate being silent all the time... But I don't think there is anyone that cares.
2006-09-12 19:24:32 · 9 answers · asked by BrokenTrust 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You should back off away from the people that don't listen to your problems. There should be a give and take. If not, back off or dump them. We all need people to validate our opinions and listen to us. There are a ton of people out there you can meet that will listen to you. Try www.meetup.com to see what groups are getting together in your group based on some search words for what you're interested in, or try yahoo groups for finding a local group. Finding creepy jerky people is a part of life. Just try and recognize the self-centered ones always yammering about themselves are people you need to keep at arm's length while you find someone more sensitive to listen to you.
2006-09-12 19:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by Neophyte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly I want to congratulate you for doing so much for other people without getting anything in return – and I thank you on their behalf, you making difference, and making the world a better place one day some of they will release what you done for them.
Secondly
Don’t you get a good feeling from just helping someone? Can you image yourself NOT helping? If you stopped won’t that mean you would become same as the people you described.
There is quote which I hope will help. ’No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. ~ Aesop ~ (620-560 BC, Greek Fabulist)’
I hope you decide to kept trying, I believe you will find some people like yourself and they will make terrific friends, sorry I can’t let you when or were but it will happen, may tomorrow or may be the next day, - every day, every hour brings that day ever closer, that friend ever nearer.
Regards C.C.
2006-09-13 08:45:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My, goodness, you sound just like a tape recording of my 17-year-old daughter. It's really sad, but I totally understand why you feel the way you do. I have seen what has happened with her many times. The odd thing is, if you asked anyone, they would say she is tremendously popular and has tons of friends. But, this is the way she feels, as you do, that none have ever been as true a friend to her as she is to them and that no one is ever really there for her when it matters. I'm sorry, because I know you're hurting over this. You do have to keep on trusting people, though, as I tell her all the time. And if you are relatively young, which I feel that you are, things will get better as you get older. I have told her that most of the "friends" she has from high school she will never even see again. And probably a handful of the friends she makes in college she will stay in touch with after college. You will find true friendship. It is out there. Be patient. And when you are let down, please don't feel like it's somehow your fault. As I tell my daughter, it's just because you have standards, and that's not a bad thing.
2006-09-12 19:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It will be good for you to step away for awhile, but it will be difficult. No matter you want it or not, you will be back to where you are right now. You will getting more friends in the end and having hard time getting rid of them, because they are not really nice to you. Then you feel bad by telling them that you want to part with them.
It the life I live, and I have been hurt numerous time. Currently, I don't have any best friends near by me about 300 miles. I don't even bother getting one, because if the person can be trusted, then you will know sooner or later. To force things happen is the worst case senario.
Your last paragraph is exactly what I am experiencing as well. I have not way out but to turn my back on my so-called friends. They will break from their silences once in awhile, but since they had a girlfriend/boyfriend, new group of people to hang out with, or whatever their agenda is, they really care less about me. It hurts, but I have to move on. I hope you will as well. Let's encourage each other ok?
By the way, I want to tell you one more thing. Turn to God or gods won't do Sh**, but there are some people you can trust. Someone who gave you birth, or others who grew up with you under the same roof. Their arms are always open to you whenever you need them. They won't ask you what happen, but they will always back you up. They are the people I can't even see once per year. Trust me, they are the ones that you can turn to.
Good luck.
2006-09-12 20:16:46 · answer #4 · answered by tienyutai 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should first put your trust in God and he will help you to trust again! my very best friend in the world was like that but you know what i wouldn't trade it for the world.. you have a real gift, not everyone does care to hear other peoples problems they are all wrapped up in themselves and seem to think there is no one else that has any problems. but for you to still be right there really says something about who you are, of course you can trust again!! Don't be surprised if it takes a while. but time heals all wounds. you also will learn how to tell if someone is going to be like that if it has been done b4 so just try not to get attached to people so quickly make sure they are up to the challenge of being a true friend. and i promise God really does care;)and obviously i care=)
2006-09-12 19:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by booluvzdrew 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is hard to trust people and find people who are really there ...Pain/depression/betrayal is a feeling everyone feels atleast a few times in their life....It is very hard to find people who are really their for you...
Maybe the people you put trust in in the past are the wrong people...Maybe you need to think why the people that did betray you do so and see what the people who have done you wrong have incommon ...Maybe you just need to meet better people....Sometimes communicating with the wrong people can make bad things happen.....There is always someone out their you can talk to ... If you need more help or anyone to talk to you can always contact me through yahoo answers.
I found someone I can rely on and thats my boyfriend/best friend....We have been together over 3 years and hopefully me and him will remain together the rest of our lives...I have so much trust and love in him...He makes me so happy...
Maybe you need a decent lover that can be a great friend aswell that can make you feel better.
2006-09-12 19:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
according to me u r the luckiest person who helps others to solve their problems.Remember one thing GOD has given u life to enjoy n help the needy ! There is a say ' watever u can do for ur friends do it but never except the same from them . If u get the same u r lucky but never ever feel to break friendship from any one b'cos it is the most beautiful thing in life . Hope u do the same looking forward for ur response. Reply me at sam_060286@yahoo.co.in wanna b my friend!!!!!
2006-09-12 21:26:53 · answer #7 · answered by Rahul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don’t believe you can trust anyone… why are you asking us for help?
As strange as that question may seem, if people are going to sit down and try to help you, it will help for you to trust us enough to at least consider what advice we may be able to offer you.
Does your lack of trust extend to your own parents?…
Do you believe you can trust them???
I’m wondering if perhaps the cause of your mistrust may extend to something that happened between you and your parents.
‘Trust’ is an important ingredient in any relationship.
The thing about ‘trust’ is that it goes hand in hand with ‘honesty’ and ‘respect’.
If someone lies to you, then you lose your trust in them, and with it your respect for them as well.
Once someone betrays my trust, it is up to them to earn it back again.
No matter who I associate with, I commence the association with a degree of trust. I allow the trust to grow until such time that it is betrayed.
If I was to commence my association with people in the belief that I couldn’t trust anyone, then I would be making it very difficult for the relationship to grow.
I am sorry you have been hurt in the past, but please don’t write off your future.
I am referring to your earlier question…
Do you think anyone will notice if I disappeared from life?
People do care about you, OK…
I don’t even know you, and I care !!!
I am sure that there are many people ‘who know you in real life’ who also care about you very much, and who would be devastated if anything bad ever happened to you.
Continue to trust people… if they betray that trust… then make them be the ones who earn it back.
Allow yourself to be a bit ‘selfish’…
Life isn’t dependent on you resolving the problems of the world.
Concentrate on what you need to do to ensure your own happiness, because the most important person in your life, is you !!!
2006-09-12 19:30:52 · answer #8 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
never give up on friendship it will come when you least expect it.i feel the same way sometimes not just about friends but all people.but the sun rises and a new day starts and things happen to change the way i felt yesterday.but anyway just remember the sun rises everyday and friends come with a ray of hope everyday.
2006-09-12 19:52:55 · answer #9 · answered by WIZZARD 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋