My friend was so drunk that i had to send him home.Upon reaching his house i knocked on the door,when his wife open the door, she help me to carry my friend to the sofa and when i was about to leave, she hug and hold me tight and start to kiss me..
As i can't resists the temptation ,we end up in the master bed room.. Later then i manage to find out that i'm not the only one his wife is having an affair with...Should i be frank and tell the truth to my friend or keep it as a secret??
2006-09-12 18:22:19 · 61 answers · asked by eZY jOHn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Wow! That`s a tough one! I would say that he must not be that good of a friend to you or you wouldn`t have been able to do that in any situation. If any of my friends` men ever came on to me I`d turn them down and tell my friend right away so they would know what a slime they were with. But, seeing as how you didn`t stop yourself and did it with her, he might turn it around on you and make you the bad guy for betraying him instead of putting the blame on the **** he`s with. I would say, it`s really a matter of whether or not you can go on facing him without saying anything or if your conscience will get the better of you. I would just stay quiet about it and hope that he finds out what a whore she is by catching her with someone else. Good luck sweetie!
2006-09-12 18:33:05 · answer #1 · answered by Ex-Blondie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Be very, very careful with your next move. Doing what you perceive to be the right thing isn't always the best solution. First of all your friend will be pissed at you. Secondly, his wife will be pissed at you and probably outright deny it and claim you're an a**hole and making stuff up..or even worse. As for his wife having affairs with other guys .... I hope you have some solid evidence before u even think about bringing that up. You are his friend..you just made a drunken mistake and you're only human.
I would give this some time to see if he gets savvy to his wife's behavior and if he doesn't then figure out a way to clue him in without you actually saying it.... (Hell if I know; coincidentally take him to the bar where she's meeting the other guy or something) Though not logical, it's human nature to hate the messenger.
2006-09-12 18:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by chitown.nate 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be prepared to lose your friend if you tell him.
Even if she is having affairs with others, he will not be able to face you knowing you've been intimate with his wife.
If she denies everything, he might think you are just jealous of him and trying to make trouble.
If you don't tell him and he finds out, you will also lose your friend.
You seem to be in a no-win position and all because you let your friend's wife seduce you. It sounds like your friend needs to know the truth so he can deal with his wife, get counseling or separation or divorce. Obviously, the marriage is in trouble. Maybe he cheats on her, too. This is a tough question. My final answer is this: Tell your friend exactly what happened. Be prepared for his anger, maybe he'll get physical with you. Tell him you have heard she has been unfaithful with others, too.
Apologize to him for what you did and ask for his forgiveness. Maybe someday, down the road, when he has resolved this problem he will even be thankful you were honest and he was able to make a fresh start with someone with good morals. It won't be easy, but you owe it to your friend to tell him the truth.
2006-09-12 18:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by Lean on Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Should I tell my friend that his wife had an affair with me"?
You mean "should I tell my friend that I dick-ed his wife"?
Not much of a friend if you screwed his wife! Doesn't matter how many guys SHE is doing! YOU are one of the "guys"!
If you were truly a "friend" then you would have told your friends wife that no way in hell would you do that to HIM!
So later you find out that YOU are not the only swinging prick?
Your loyalty leaves little room for "frankness" at this point!
2006-09-12 18:41:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anna M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really are a friend to him, i still believe HONESTY is the best policy. telling him will open up his eyes to a lot of possibilities regarding his marriage and his wife's faithfulness. it may show how weak you are as a person but nevertheless you know you'd learn from your experience and hopefully will already try to use your head more (than your balls) when you get into a similar situation in the future. most of the time, a failing marriage starts with lies such as this.
On the other hand, if you care enough about their relationship, instead of telling your friend, you talk to his wife about talking to him regarding what happened (and you should also be present when they finally do). this will also make you open about what really has been happening to their marriage and hopefully they can find ways to still save it. you don't go facing your buddy right away (just like how you and his wife ended in bed the last time) because definitely you'd get a hit in your head... but take time to think of ways of doing it.
bottomline is you know deep down your heart you are not as a good friend after all (given that incident) and the least that you can do is to honestly confess to him about what happened and sincerely apologize. I am sure you will expect the same from him if you are in his shoes. you don't want to be that clueless fool either whom his wife got banged by his best buddy.
2006-09-12 18:34:02 · answer #5 · answered by kamahalan_12 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You didn't mention how long you've been friends or how close of a friend this guy is, but you shouldn't have done what you did if he IS your friend.
If you keep it a secret and he finds out, he'll be really upset and your friendship might end.
However, if you do tell him, you have to bear the consequences of your friendhsip might ending anyway and living with the fact that you might have ended someone 's marriage.
Think about it, what if you were in his shoes? What would you do? And how would you feel if that was your wife and she was having affairs with his friends?
2006-09-12 18:28:04 · answer #6 · answered by lilmizwiz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shame on you. You aren't really his friend. I don't think you should tell him but I don't think you should be going to his house either. If she is sleeping around then she obviously has some problem in her marriage that is beyond you. You were just used by her to make her feel better about herself and it could have been anyone.
Perhaps her problem is that he is always too drunk to perform. Anyway, the problem is not going to be mended if you tell him. Its going to continue so let him find out another way. He may already know. Why are you suddenly so concerned about his wellbeing now anyway? You weren't before. Could it be that your own ego has been bruised now that you know it wasn't your masculine charm that she couldn't control herself from? Are you just upset now that you found out you are not her only affair? Sounds to me like you wanting to tell him only came about since you learned she has done it with others. Do you want to help him or do you want to get back at her? Do you think she is a whore only since you found that you were used?
2006-09-12 18:30:11 · answer #7 · answered by punkvixen 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no what do you want to be a even nastier dog. you are just as much at fault as she is. the nerve of you! the only reason you want to tell is because you arent the only one, so your *** got used. how dare you say "u couldnt resist the temptation. i guess you are not a true friend. you are a backstabber and then you want to rub his face in it by telling him, you jerk , you know what goes around comes back to you. you dont have to tell him because you will get it back in some shape or form. you should embrace your cold heart in patch of thorns. and you wonder why people kill each other.
2006-09-12 18:30:58 · answer #8 · answered by purpleartof5 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should listen to the song, The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia BEFORE you open your big mouth...and don't give me this crap about NOT being able to resist temptation...some friend you are...low life.!
2006-09-12 18:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You honestly consider yourself a friend? Wow if your his friend I'm scare to find out who his enemies are... True friends don't hurt their friends. If she was teasing you, maybe you should have though with your head above your shoulders and not with the one hanging.. I think the lease you could do is be honest with him. Let him know what you and her have done. Put yourself in his shoes how would you feel if he had slept with your girl? I bet you would not like it one bit. It hurts more to know she cheated with someone one consider a friend than with any other guy. I hope you learn your listen and remember next time a girlfriend of your friend tries something with you think with your head you know the one that is on top....
2006-09-12 18:36:02 · answer #10 · answered by hazelshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋