I have been with my boyfriend for nine yrs and we live together for six years. I am 5 wks pregnant and he is not the father but i love him so much. We just recently starting putting back together a severely damaged relationship and this could kill him. On the other hand the guy that I am pregnant from makes me so happy and he is very happy and i want to be happy but i dont know what the hell to feel. I really want to enjoy my pregnancy but i dont want to tear my family apart. Please be kind with answers b/c this really means a lot to me
2006-09-12 18:20:53 · 14 answers · asked by babygyrl 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
craigmann go to hell, who are you 2 judge me.
2006-09-12 18:32:01 · update #1
im not going to make him think he's the father
2006-09-12 18:39:55 · update #2
Be honest with him and tell him. Tell the father as well. Everyone can make mistakes. You need to decide who and where your heart relies
2006-09-12 18:25:43 · answer #1 · answered by jagbeeton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a therapist. Be honest. Why were you with this other guy and why does he make you happy? Do not make a decision based on what will happen to someone else ("this could kill him"). Instead do what will make you happy. Honesty, love, support, calmness, these are the things that you have the choice to bring into your life and to your child. Whether it is with this guy, the other guy, or by yourself while you sort through all this and realize that chaos is not the answer. Do not act from a place of fear.
Get some help.
2006-09-13 01:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by girl12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let ya man know, so he can at least have the option of choosing whether he wants to stay with you r not. Personally I think you real faulty for what u did. Yall gripe and complain about not having a good man, but when you do yall go out and do stupid azz shyt like this! You can't love two people at once, even as a man I know that. You need to dedicate your self to one or the other, and if you can't decide which one you wanna be with then you need to be single so you can explore your options as only a single women should. I don't know why you waited to build a whole family and foundation, fall in love and some mo **** to decide you still wanna explore your options. You need to get your shyt together. I'm sorry if I sound harsh mama..but I don't sugar coat nothing and from a man's point of view I'm keepin it 100% real with you.
2006-09-13 01:38:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you need to tell him no matter what the outcome. that is unfair to make him think that this baby is his. also what would happen if when the baby comes out he looks so unlike your man that it causes problems?
ask God for strength and tell your man what happened. then just go from there. if you are worried about being alone during this pregnancy, don't. you need to stay focused on being upbeat and happy because you can affect your baby by being worried and sad.
its not going to be easy but i suppose you knew that while you were doing the do with the other guy.
you will feel somewhat of a weight lifted if you get this off your chest.
good luck
2006-09-13 01:29:41 · answer #4 · answered by godsimage74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is tough! You should do what makes you happy. That comment sounds selfish considering you have a young one on the way to think of. If you were having a seriously damaged relationship with your live in guy then think about what it will be like for your baby to grow up watching you have relationship problems with your live in guy... most studies show that children who grow up seeing relationship problems or abuse are more likely to end up in the same situation as their parents or shying away from relationships for fear of going through what their parents went through. Regardless of who you want to be with your baby's daddy is gonna have to be (and hopefully want to be) in the picture, if you get with your live in guy you'll have to deal with awkward situations when the baby's daddy comes to see the baby, which can be confusing to the child (who's my real daddy?)... all in all you should think of what's best for your child, he/she is the most important person in this whole ordeal...maybe you should even be alone for a while to sort things out and "find yourself" again, a happy mommy makes a happy baby. Make sure you sign up for child support cause we all know single mommys have the hardest time...
2006-09-13 01:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by Miss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
babe ignore all this stupid advice, decide on who or what u want. if u decide to tell ur current that the child isnt his be prepared to be a single mother, unless the other guy really wants u.
its up to u, but before u open ur mouth know what u want.
u will surely lose ur guy of 9 yrs, and unless the 2 guys are different races chances are no 1 will be none the wiser.
2006-09-13 06:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by catzw81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to make it work with the daddy...especially if you love him...this will be the best thing for the child in the future. And really the child, not you, not your family is the most important thing now. That being said, never stay in a bad or unhappy relationship for a child...that is not the best thing
2006-09-13 01:29:51 · answer #7 · answered by jpickrell1199 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are in the same boat , i have a son by my sons father and my second baby is not his, its this other guys, i love my sons father but im not in love with him..i dont think anyone can understand this but the guy i am pregnant by aint ready for a realtionship right now, because he just got out of a bad realionship, anyways i care about him alot now because i am pregnant by him. i dont know hun good luck
2006-09-13 01:27:14 · answer #8 · answered by Deshawn & Keshawn's mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay im going to tell u this DO NOT let ur bf thank he is the father girl if u dont want to tell him cuz u think its goin to kill him then u need to break up with him shut him off and go to that other dude and to save his feelings then u tell u later on if u ever talk that u just found out ur preg. but u need to act quick...or tell him truth...just dont play with someone like that karma will get u so bad.....but no one can tell u what to do .........do what u feel ....just be careful cuz the guy ur preg by might get frustrated and tell the dude u live with that ur preg by him....ANd do u know 100 percent sure its the other guys?
2006-09-13 01:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by queenbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it from someone who knows first hand i was in same situation and i was an emotional mess the whole time.i didnt get very much enjoyment with my pregnancy because i was always worried about who i should please.please choose who your going to be happy with and make sure that person will accept your child
2006-09-13 01:37:42 · answer #10 · answered by shelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋