can you be in a marriage and not really be there emotionally?

Question

i feel trapped in my marriage. for about a year and a half now my relationship with my husband has been moving in the wrong direction. he does not communicate and isolates himself in our other room for hours and hours at a time. when he finally comes out to eat or watch tv in our livingroom he is drunk and quickly passes out on the couch. i feel stuck in this situation and really don't know where else to turn or what to do or how to handle this. i can use some serious advice.

Answer 1

I WOULD SERIOUSLY SUGGEST THAT THE BOTH OF YOU GO TO COUNSELING IF YOU WANT THIS MARRIAGE TO WORK. IS INFIDELITY INVOLVED OR IS IT JUST THE DRINKING? TALK TO HIM TO FIND OUT WHERE THE PROBLEM STEMMED FROM INITIALLY AND FIND OUT IF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING ON YOUR PART TO REKINDLE THE FLAME. AND MOST OF ALL...PRAY AND ASK GOD TO RESTORE THE LOVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE. GOD BLESS YOU...

Answer 2

Of course you can be in a marriage and not really be there emotionally...isn't that where you're at now? Many people are in the same situation you are. Communication is really the key to a healthy relationship. I've had my share of miscommunications, it can really hurt and destroy a beautiful relationship. You should try talking to him about it, tell him how you feel. Try to get some marriage counseling. If he doesn't want to listen to you, no matter how much you persist, then don't waste your time with him anymore. If he's not going to give you the respect and recognition that you deserve, then he's not worth your precious time. Don't settle for that kind of treatment.

Answer 3

Yes, you can be in a marriage and not really be emotinally there. Once you get hurt so much you run out of emotions.

In order for a marriage to work there needs to be communication. I would suggest that you sit down with your husband and see what is going on. If he is not willing to talk about the issues then maybe you need to reevaluate the situation and do what is best for you.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Wow, that really sounds pretty bad. have you talked with him about this? Do you have kids? Do you really want this kind of marriage? It sounds like you have shut down yourself. You need to look at yourself and find out if this is really what you want. If not, what are your options...counseling together or just on your own if he won't go, some kind of intensive weekend for relationships, maybe start slow and invite him to be with you to watch a movie together, to play a game or just hang out. Then talk with him about the things that you want for you and him. Stay out of the conversation of "the problem" , him being the problem, or you not being happy. maybe talk about how you want to be closer with him, to grow old together, learn and love together. He is probably feeling disconnected like you, you need to take some steps toward him to make things better. Good luck with this, but be careful not to approach him in a manner that will make him mad, then he can't hear you when he gets mad.

Answer 5

yes people do it everyday and its a shame they have to. i know its easier said than done, but if you feel it in your heart its real, your mind is just denying it. set yourself some guidelines on removing yourself from this relationship. if you feel that you are willing to put in some serious work then you should seek counseling,if he feels like he doesnt want to seek professional help and feel that there is no problem then leave,dont rush yourself ,prepare because if you are suffering and want hapiness then make it possible for yourself. start focusing on yourself and your needs as an individual. start putting some money aside, get all of your legal documents in order, check into some rental property or what have you. it wont be any fun involved but its not supposed to be. that will be the begining of your healing process. good luck to you.

Answer 6

my first marriage was like that in a way. You need to get out, file for divorce, and find something that will make you happy. It is not easy to start your life over, but it is better than being miserable the rest of it. I am now with a guy that I adore, and would give the world for.. there is love after a divorce.. good luck...

Answer 7

Yes you can.I lived for almost 18 yrs like that.I think I fell out of like with him after the first 2yrs.I stayed for the kids...BIG mistake.No communication can and will kill a relationship.The drunkeness will only get worse unless he faces it and all the AA meetings you go to will inform that he will not give it up unless he wants to.Most have to hit rock bottom before that happens.I would say ask him to go to a marriage counselor,if he won't..you need to move on.No one has to live like that.There are too many options out there to be unhappy all the time.It sound like you are just"existing".Don't you think it time to start living?You are the only one responsible for your happiness.What are you going to do about it?Think about that for a little bit and you will have your answer.Good luck and best wishes from someone who knows.

Answer 8

You need to talk to him and ask him what the problem is. He sounds like he's an alcoholic. Has he always been a heavy drinker? Maybe you should suggest AA. However, you need to think about yourself. I would start to think very seriously about leaving him. Especially if you are young and don't have kids. Get out while you still can. I'm very sorry you have to go through this.

Answer 9

The first step is counseling, either with your husband or without.

I wonder why you feel so stuck. Is it for kids? Is it financial?

If you are being abused, bodily harm or otherwise, get out now. Call the police or a trusted friend right now. Do not suffer.

Answer 10

You can be married but really not even married. You two need help and if you do not want to seek help you need to move on. I really is not the right person for you, you do not sound happy to me. I suggest you seek help or leave him. I always say work it out first, if you two got married at some time you both loved each other.

Answer 11

I hope you know the reason..I feel relationship ends once the hearts are broken.. once one does not enjoy being together.. once one does not feel on other.. Relationship should have desire to make feel others and if that does not exist.. its better to end that. It does not make sense to demand or expect to make things happen when things does not work out emotionally on any relationship as one thing lead to other and issues blows out day in and day out and partner becomes enemy over a time..