Why is it you wait a lifetime for marriage, and when it happens one of the spouse's cheats on the other?

Question

I have been happily married for 4 years and have 2 beautiful children, We could never imagine doing this to one another.

Answer 1

Some people wait a lifetime for marriage, but when they get married they expect marriage to solve all of the problems they had while single. Instead of preparing themsleves by getting to a point in which they don't NEED somebody, they get desparate, not working on themselves, and take the first person that is halfway nice to them, or is "good" in bed at that time, and they don't look at themselves to see if they are ok and satisfied with themselves. When this happens, somebody is bound to cheat.

Answer 2

No one ever expects it but, if we don't watch what relationships we may have with member(s) of the opposit sex before or after marriage, even the most seemingly innocent gesture may lead to ultimate disaster. This, however, is only one aspect that causes cheating but it is a major one. There are many other triggers. But, the key question is, what are the 2 of you going to do with it? How are the 2 of you going to work this out? Can we still save the marriage? The kids are so important. So, if we can still save it, it is worth a try! Love, after all, is not just a feeling or emotion.

Answer 3

Well, I've heard the answer is that one spouse isn't getting something they need from the other. Could be an emotional connection, a confidant, sex, or even a certain kind of sex (s&m vs vanilla). That makes sense since sometimes sex in a marriage stops or people grow apart. But I think another answer is some folks don't wait long enough and they settle for someone...

Answer 4

You are one of the lucky ones. In healthy marriages that is how it should be. So many people have unresolved baggage and they take it out/blame it on their spouse. It's called projection. then they justify their affair while belittling the spouse.. when it is all about them and their own problems.. It is hard for an optimistic person who is in love to foresee or predict that their spouse will turn outside themselves, and outside their marriage for validation.. when they are too scared or lazy to do the work on their own self that would be required to contribute to a mutually respectful and loving and faithful relationship. They take the easy road out and hurt lots of people.. very selfish and completely lacking in true love. Because they never had true love to give in the First place. It takes a lot of work. Some people just are not emotionally healthy.. I could never imagine doing that to anyone.. But my ex did it to me constantly and it was devastating! It destroyed every blessing he had been given just because of how small he felt about himself inside.. And it was a CHOICE. a very destructive one!

Answer 5

It is only human nature and that is the problem. We never want to be with just one person. That is life and it is not everyone. If two people love each other enough they will not cheat, ever.

Answer 6

I think people just give up way to easy in todays society! I have been with my man 7 years, and we are more in love every day! I cant imagine that happening to me...but it happens to others everyday.

Answer 7

Maybe the one that cheated wasn't ready for marriage but couldn't say anything for fear of hurting the other person.

Answer 8

You know that doesn't always happen. You just read more of it on here. There are plenty of good marriages. But, unfortunately, people seem to be bored talking about them. People seem to want to talk about scandalous things.

Answer 9

I would feel pretty lucky if I were you. Some people don't even like eachother after 4 years.

Answer 10

You are all stretched out and he works all day and comes home to your nagging and 2 kids, and you probably aren't that good in bed anymore. Hmm, I wonder why he cheats??